How can I get myself to start doing this? Help?!

mikmurphy

I have been at MFP since 2011 I think. I have lost and gained 30lbs about 3 times, along with other numerous less impressive losses. My last one I was eating at 1400 calories and had to knock them down to 1300 to see any weight loss. Even then it took me 7 months to lose 5 lbs. As I've gotten older it just will NOT budge easy.
I've ballooned up to 170lbs now. Here's the thing, part of me doesn't care, another part of me is horrified! How do I deal with this? How do I make myself care again? I know I need to work out. I know I could get sick from all this weight, but my last go of calorie counting was SO rough for me. I have serious issues with control as I'm a night time muncher and my boyfriend always had my favorite snacks in the house. I failed all the time. Ok maybe not about 3 times, that's it. I do suffer from depression so this could be a contributing factor. But if anyone has any advice on how to get me to care again, be inspired, get thinking, anything! I'm game! I so need a life coach to follow me around all day.

smolmaus

mikmurphy wrote: »

I do suffer from depression so this could be a contributing factor.

Come on, you know that's the real problem. I'm in the same boat. How can we simultaneously look at our habits, know they're terrible, be scared of what might happen if we don't change and yet... not care. That's a broke brain. A healthy happy brain doesn't keep doing things we know are harmful for us and make us suffer, especially when we have all the knowledge and tools we need to fix it.

My current tactic (jury's out on whether this works or not, mind you) is to keep on not caring to some extent. Like, I try not to attach any sort of value to either working out or going over my calorie goal or even intentionally over eating. Not a failure, just a thing that happened. If I go to the gym and I feel good, that's not a success because I did the thing, the success is that I feel good after (endorphins are excellent free drugs). If I feel just as good after a lie in on a Saturday that's fine. Will I feel better in the long run if I eat a pint of ice-cream because I'm sad? Probably not so I shouldn't do that, I should find a better thing to do. But if I do eat the ice cream that's still not a failure it's just a thing. Detach the guilt and shame and self-worth from food and exercise. They're just things.

Adding more pressure on an already weird-brain I don't think helps anyone. So I would say focus on what is going to help heal your mind, then the body will follow. That's different for everyone but I am calmer and less anxious now that guilt and shame are things I just delete from my brain. They don't do anything positive so they go in the bin.

xXxSeriouslyxXx

I posted a blog about trying to work on a positive mental attitude adjustment. Working on your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Perhaps there are triggers you are missing or ignoring. Couldn't hurt to look into it. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. it's very true.

mikmurphy

smolmaus wrote: »

mikmurphy wrote: »

I do suffer from depression so this could be a contributing factor.

Come on, you know that's the real problem. I'm in the same boat. How can we simultaneously look at our habits, know they're terrible, be scared of what might happen if we don't change and yet... not care. That's a broke brain. A healthy happy brain doesn't keep doing things we know are harmful for us and make us suffer, especially when we have all the knowledge and tools we need to fix it.

Ahhh thanks for this! I've had depression for a million years but I somehow am always quick to blame myself instead of treating things as symptoms of my illness and deal with them accordingly. When I let myself just think it's a personal failing it just makes everything worse.

Guilt and shame are huge issues for me! It sounds much easier to not lay a judgment on an action. I think I'll try it.

mikmurphy

xXxSeriouslyxXx wrote: »

I posted a blog about trying to work on a positive mental attitude adjustment. Working on your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Perhaps there are triggers you are missing or ignoring. Couldn't hurt to look into it. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. it's very true.

I have been doing insanity then for sure! Lol. Yeah I think you guys are right, I'm going to tackle this as a mental health challenge first, and then achieve what I can with that mindset.

88olds

A couple of thoughts. You tried the 2 list exercise? Line down the middle of the page, why you want to lose weight on one side, why you don’t on the other. Think it over. Make an honest list, especially the don’t want to side. Even little things that seem silly.

Now try to figure out if you can make a plan that gets both sides some of what they want. Avoid the temptation to just try to run over the don’ts with the bus. It won’t work. It isn’t written anywhere that you have to lose weight. It’s a choice. Can you make deals with yourself that you think you can live with long term?

There’s nothing wrong with losing 5 lbs in 7 months. How long did it take you to gain? If you have a downward trend going, the rest is just a matter of time.

There’s nothing wrong with evening snacks. I plan 2 per night. But it helps if your snacks are actually appealing to you. Work on it. Then set a time to eat your snacks. Delay is easier to manage than just say no. Those other snacks? They aren’t yours.

And you haven’t failed. You just haven’t solved a few problems yet. You keep a food diary? Keep your diary no matter what. Going over your number for any particular day is not failure. It’s just a sign of an ineffective plan. Work on making your plan better. Thomas Edison tried 100s of times to make a commercially viable light bulb.

Calorie counting works and you can do it. Just like a plan that’s not working saps your strength, a plan that does work builds your confidence. You can do this. Break it down into small steps of things to do. Solve your problems one at a time. Slow and steady wins the race.