How are you motivated in the evening/after work/when tired? Or, after messing up one thing?

kiela64

I'm supposed to do my physio exercises twice a day (it takes about an hour). I used to be in a really good routine for this, and I'm not at all now. But even when it was a lot more consistent, it was a lot harder for me to get to the evening ones than the morning ones. The morning is just about getting up and moving and making time for it. But the evening has its own challenges that I've yet to really solidly figure out.

My excuses are as follows: a) maybe I already did too much over the past few days bc I'm sore, b) I'm tired and I don't wanna get up, c) ughhhhhhh, d) I ate too much and I'm a garbage trash person and I'm going to continue being a garbage trash person by letting my muscles seize up and hurt even more! Yeah self sufferrrrrr you suck!

The last one is a really good one, too. If I've failed in my eating during the day, it's really hard to feel like I "identify" as a person that does what they're supposed to do. I feel like poop, therefore I act like a poop person. I don't want to be a poop person, but it feels inevitable once I mess up! For example, today I ate a piece of the cake set out on the break room table. And then I had another one at a colleage's urging. Then a friend cancelled plans on me. Then I bought junk food. Then I ate said junk food. Then I felt really ill and didn't want to do physio. Despite being really on track, energetic, and "determined" to do better in the morning! (I use quotes because apparently not as it didn't stick at all).

It's frustrating, but mostly I just feel Tired. I'm sluggish. My day was [hard/long/tiring/or none of those things but just existed and I'm tired about that] and I can't even focus on a full tv show episode.

I know I could do this before. But evenings were always hard. It's the weather, my concussion recovery, etc - it's all making me even more tired and whiny.

TL;DR: How do you organize yourself for the evening? An evening home workout or even just keeping your eating on track? And how do you recover a day from one (1) slip up not turning into destructor-of-progress?

88olds

Well, you say yourself that the problem started before evening. Let’s start with this because it’s where I started- do you actually want to do this? Not because you think you should want to, but because you actually want to be fit and at a healthy weight. Is that what you want for yourself?

If the answer is yes, start by respecting your own decision about the kind of life you want for yourself. Health and fitness are worthy endeavors. You’re wise for pursuing those goals. Now back yourself up. No one can do it for you. Respect yourself.

Notice that’s not love yourself or even like yourself, just some basic human respect. And quit calling yourself names, it’s not respectful.

Sounds like you need a better plan starting with avoiding unhelpful decisions at work. I turned into the office germaphobe after watching my coworkers around the office donuts. Cake left out in the break room? Ah, no thanks. But that’s me. You need a strategy. Make your plan for you and back yourself up. When losing, I steered clear of folks to a large extent. Other people are a needless complication. Don’t let the food pushers work on you.

Start by straightening out your head and your day routine. Evenings will get better.

How did I stay on track? Food diary. Actually I was doing Weight Watchers at the end so we called it tracking. But I tracked no matter what. If I ate those 2 pieces of cake, I’d have to put a number on it and record it. I found that helped keep me in check. Don’t get me wrong, I ate over my number many times, but those were mistakes and lapses. I didn’t abandon the process.

middlehaitch

Are you working with a therapist/mental health specialist recovering from your concussion?

If you aren’t, you maybe should. They can help you build coping strategies to see you through your recovery.

Your going through a tough time, don’t try to cope on your own unless there is no alternative.

Sorry I can’t be more help, but I think, because of your concussion, medical guidance may be needed.

Cheers, h.

kiela64

middlehaitch wrote: »

Are you working with a therapist/mental health specialist recovering from your concussion?

If you aren’t, you maybe should. They can help you build coping strategies to see you through your recovery.

Your going through a tough time, don’t try to cope on your own unless there is no alternative.

Sorry I can’t be more help, but I think, because of your concussion, medical guidance may be needed.

Cheers, h.

Just regular more frequent check ups on how I’m functioning. I don’t think mental health is assumed to be related- may not be , just it’s an added frustration.

cmriverside

Yeah, I agree there is a lot of cognitive distortion and self-respect issues in your post.

I have little notes around my apartment, little positive affirmations. They help a lot. Bible verses, self talk.

Lounmoun

I think I do better when I am not so rigid and negative and focus on taking care of me because I want to feel good.
I don't label foods as junk. I don't have a restrictive diet. My goal is to over the day or week stick to my calorie goal. I try daily to meet my protein goal and have more vegetables and fruits. I'm not going to be perfect every day. I am not garbage if I eat cake or chips or have a higher calorie day. What I eat is not a reflection of my value as a human being.
With exercise I have a minimum goal I try to acheive daily and a maximum goal. Again I am not going to be perfect every day but most days I at least hit my minimum goal. Minimum goal for me is to get 5,000 steps a day. This is something I can do fairly easily even if I have a bad day. Maximum goal for me is 8,000-10,000 steps a day. On a good day I get there. On a really good day I do more than walking for exercise.
I feel that my food goal is seperate from my exercise goal. Exercise can mean eating more calories but I exercise no matter what type of food I eat.
I'm tired in the evening but often have to do things like pet care or feed my family. I push through because someone/something is counting on me doing these things. If it were not for that I might just blow off activity in the evening too.

It sounds like the issue is a lot on the mental side for you. Maybe a therapist could help you work through your feelings and a routine that you stick to even on bad days. If you can't do an hour of exercise some nights is it possible to do a 15-30 minute routine instead... a minimum routine you feel you can handle even on a bad day.

allieeveryday

I'm more motivated in the evening because I just don't want to get out of bed ever and no workout seems worth it before coffee. But if you're finding evenings to be harder, can you bump the exercises up to like, lunchtime, or mid-afternoon?

TheresaAnn1990

So if someone eats healthy for one day, are they instantly the epitome of health and wellness? No. They aren't. I used to feel just like you after eating a dang french fry, so I feel you. My point is that you must look at this long term and stop thinking short term like so many people in this world do. It has taken me over a year to lose 14lbs, but you know what? I never felt starved or depraved. I'm not saying it will or should take you that long to lose "x" amount of weight, but I promise you some cake slices and junk food aren't going to get in your way if you think long term. Just last weekend I had Chick Fil A for lunch and Taco Bell for dinner. I eat a treat meal or two or three every weekend. It helps me feel like I'm not starving or deprived. It's a lifestyle, not a "get fit quick in 12 weeks" type things. That's why ppl fail, they beat themselves up for eating a burger and then feel bad, so in that depression they eat all the burgers in sight lol. This was me back when I was a teen. And as far as motivation goes, half the time I'm NOT motivated. Sometimes I am, but I'd be lying to you if I said I'm always motivated or even 70 percent of the time motivated. One time I asked my boyfriend the same question: "how are you always so motivated to go to the gym and eat healthy??" And he told me this: "I'm not motivated, I'm disciplined". It made sense to me. Now I tell ppl that all the time and I always receive a smile of understanding. If everyone was motivated, everyone would work out all the time. But the true players are the ones who are still working out despite being unmotivated. That's what sets them apart from the masses of "serial starters": they are disciplined. Simply put, if you can't find the self-discipline, you dn't want it enough. There is no soft and easy way to put this. You have to want it.

steveko89

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. Execution, mindset, and how the two are connected are too often overlooked. I've found it most productive to allow myself the latitude to make choices that may be "unhealthy" under the pretext that achieving my goals are direct results of my choices. Notice I've gone away from good/bad or success/failure dichotomy; thinking of things in terms of productive vs. counter-productive towards my goal helped immensely with self-pity whenever I would miss a workout of overindulge and keeps one decision from turning into a series of negative choices. Other advice I've read/received over the years that I've really liked and been able to employ are as follows:

- Never "miss" two-in-a-row - one meal, snack, piece of cake, missed workout doesn't not mean the end of the world, but don't let it turn into a streak of a spiral. A choice was made, come to terms with that choice if you feel it was counter-productive towards your goal(s), and carry on.
- The 80/20 Rule - goes hand-in-hand nicely with the above; you're only setting yourself up for failure if you have a perfection-or-nothing mindset. Better to be consistent and working towards your goal(s) 80% of the time than not at all if one missed step prompts you to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water.

Another big thing for me has been habit-building over motivation. It's an iterative process to find what works best for you and what obstacles you're encountering that are keeping you from doing what you feel you need/want to do. I found I could be much more consistent getting my lifting done in the mornings than if I waited until after work when there were more opportunities to make excuses and complicating factors to shorten my workouts, etc. Getting up on time and time management in the mornings became the primary obstacle so I've had to develop habits that make my mornings as smooth as possible; I pre-mix my preworkout, I lay out my work and workout clothes, and generally try and make it as easy as possible to choose to go from snuggled under the covers to lifting in the basement. Sure there are mornings I don't want to get up at 5am, but sometimes I'll be laying in bed and think "I should just get up, I already made my preworkout, it's time" and it works. Practicing better sleep habits has also been a big benefit.

All-in-all, "failing" is fine as long as you can do some forensics on why and take steps to improve so you can fail better next time.

cariwaldick

You're not a terrible person just because there's bad food all around you and you gave in. You're not a crappy person destined to feel like crap just because you have obstacles to working out. Stop filling your mind with this negative recording. Tell yourself you are a healthy, vibrant person trapped inside a prison of bad habits, and work to get out.

Accountability is key. Instead of caving to the co-worker/pusher, reaffirm your goals and tell them cake isn't in your eating plan. Tell anyone who cares about your goals, and ask them to help you. I told everyone my weight, and I've got friends who ask me regularly how I'm doing.

If evenings are hard to work out, maybe you should change your work out plan. Put on a video and dance, do crunches during commercials if you're resting on the couch watching TV, take the dog for a walk--walk a neighbor's dog if you don't have one (they'll be grateful.) Pick something you can do in the midst of your evening. Shopping as a good way to get a lot of walking done. Housework burns calories.

Look up the calories for cake, and see how long you have to do your favorite exercise to burn it off, then do it. You can undo your mistake.

Ardael

My slip ups are my motivation to workout. Atone for my calories in a way.

Also the day stops at midnight.
I sometimes get stuff done at like 11pm because dinner has finally been digested and I don’t feel so sluggish anymore, etc. I’ve also done 5min workouts during ad breaks on TV during my evening movie/show.

And also talk to yourself like you would to somebody else. Would you walk to someone at work and sneer at them and tell them they’re trash poopy despicable ugly people? No? Then why do it to yourself? Treat yourself well and the rest will follow. Charity starts at home.