Heartbroken but fighting back

dianepenelope
dianepenelope Posts: 18 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Recently (8 months ago) my husband of 18 years left me citing "I'm just not physically attracted to you" as the reason. I was and continue to be gutted. He has now moved on with another woman and I am stuggling. I started comfort eating, and the weight I lost during the early part of the separation have crept back on. So I am back here, looking for supports, offering support to anyone going through a similar situation or who has triumphed in similar circumstances.
Di <3

Replies

  • abadvat
    abadvat Posts: 1,241 Member
    Sorry if i might sound a bit abrupt but stop digging yourself in a hole and use this situation as fuel!
    Which ever reason he had, he is gone now and being miserable over him won't help you - erase negativity and move on, you win or you learn out of each situation, the choice is yours!
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,021 Member
    abadvat wrote: »
    Sorry if i might sound a bit abrupt but stop digging yourself in a hole and use this situation as fuel!
    Which ever reason he had, he is gone now and being miserable over him won't help you - erase negativity and move on, you win or you learn out of each situation, the choice is yours!
    This.
  • mwalle09
    mwalle09 Posts: 305 Member
    It hurts and it will for a long time but this is a chance for you to work on you.
  • hannahmilligan666
    hannahmilligan666 Posts: 14 Member
    Feel free to add me. X
  • Johndu76
    Johndu76 Posts: 126 Member
    *kitten* him! Happy to add you :)
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    We live in such a selfish world. Being physically attracted should come from loving the person you are not what you look like. Move on and be assured that you are a beautiful person whatever you weigh. My heart aches for the hurt he caused you but I am also sure that you don't need such a self-centered person by your side. Lose weight because you deserve to be happy and healthy not because of him.
  • FitnTrimSteve
    FitnTrimSteve Posts: 664 Member
    He's foolish. You are a beautiful woman. It'll take time for the hurt to pass but you'll come out stronger and more confident. Then you'll find the right guy who will love you for the person you are, not just how you look.
  • MarvinsFitLife
    MarvinsFitLife Posts: 874 Member
    Hey to support you...sorry you’re going through this but you will bounce back stronger etc🤗
  • amy19355
    amy19355 Posts: 805 Member
    Try and console your self with the knowledge that his new partner has to wonder how long before he'll leave her for the same reason. If she isn't wondering that, well, maybe that says more about how strong you are in comparison. Do you really want a weak partner?
  • CoffeenSquats
    CoffeenSquats Posts: 982 Member
    Hugs. You're beautiful and he's a selfish butt. You're good, girl. You can do this!
  • doubleIronDog
    doubleIronDog Posts: 93 Member
    People suck! But life must go on! Do what you need to for yourself. You will get through this, it just takes time and distraction. Working out is the perfect fit!
  • roxxyo
    roxxyo Posts: 19 Member
    Sadly there are certain types of men who are slef fulfilling and always know how to manipulate ppl to get what they want. Ask yourself "were there times when you questioned how self obsessed he was?" If its any consolation i was told i was below average looking and well simply to big to be with . These kind of guys have a way of making you feel like its your fault that they are behaving like a "douche" bag, maybe once again self serving them to believe they aren't such horrible human beings.
    I agree use the hurt to fuel yourself on making yourself a better version of you but dont fall into the trap of believing it was anything to do with you , this is on him and his most likely upcoming mid life crisis. 😆😆
    I personally think he must have issues with his sight because your pic is gorgeous!! The phrase blind as a bat comes to mind.
    Keep it together, these are the times that test you, are you gonna make it or break?
    Xx
  • neilwij
    neilwij Posts: 1,634 Member
    I feel your pain, im currently going through a divorce and its tough, real tough. But if I could give one bit of advice it would be to be selfish. Look after you. Do things that you want to do and what you would enjoy. Improve yourself and learn new things, try new things. I know its difficult but use this as a new start a positive start.
  • roxxyo
    roxxyo Posts: 19 Member
    neilwij wrote: »
    I feel your pain, im currently going through a divorce and its tough, real tough. But if I could give one bit of advice it would be to be selfish. Look after you. Do things that you want to do and what you would enjoy. Improve yourself and learn new things, try new things. I know its difficult but use this as a new start a positive start.

    100 percent agree! Do you for once.!
  • Taylor__24
    Taylor__24 Posts: 18 Member
    Went though it myself in 2012. I am much better off now and as most have said, I used the trauma of the divorce as fuel.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    dianepenelope wrote: »
    OK late late rely but I am doing much better, had a few non started relationships, but they were to prove I wasn't ugly and I still "had it". I've proven that, and now I am taking time for me. My daughter finished high school and is now in uni, no thanks to douche bag dad, and I'm focussing on what matters, my happiness.

    Good to hear you are doing well! I didn’t see this post the first time around, just wanted to say I think you are lovely and it’s his loss. You’ve got great bone structure!
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    All good advice, take them and make yourself both mentally, physically and emotionally strong
    Personally, I would not enter into any relationship until I find the real me, what I really want out of this life and live by myself for a while
    Yes, lonely is not good, but just think, if you want to eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you have no one to moan about it.
    One good piece of advice I would give you is to learn to travel as a single person - after the pandemic of course
    I love going places by myself - packing my suitcase and travelling off somewhere, having a nice king size bed, large shower etc - it's a wonderful feeling.
    Sitting in a restaurant by yourself or in the movies or going to a show and doing what you want without having to consider someone else. I am in a relationship and do these all the times, just to know that if anything happens I do not need someone to travel etc with.
    Good luck
  • PAPYRUS3
    PAPYRUS3 Posts: 13,259 Member
    His loss - You are super cute too btw! This is now your time. Be kind to yourself - pamper yourself.
    There are some incredibly supportive, awesome people on this site - so you've come to right place!

    The world is your oyster! Rock it girl😉
  • B1G_FN_R0B
    B1G_FN_R0B Posts: 210 Member
    Sorry to hear this! Keep your head up and from what I see he is not a very intelligent man‼️
  • Alan_UK_1974
    Alan_UK_1974 Posts: 34 Member
    His loss, for sure! You've got this ❤
  • miallbena8190
    miallbena8190 Posts: 29 Member
    You now have a chance to FOCUS on yourself and make your life how YOU want it to be. Keep your head high, your spirits high and you WILL get through it. Anyone that can say something like that to their partner is not worth it anyway. Stay strong and don’t sell yourself short.

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