My Dr. Called me fat...😩

2

Replies

  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    See, I didn't read it as a 'fairly standard pinch test' at all (is there such a thing?) I'm examining my past experiences with doctors to see if I can figure out why I reacted so strongly and am coming up blank. They've all been thoroughly professional. Obviously something is causing me to read this in a different light as you and several others. Something to ponder...
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    Not sure what type of doctors you are going to - I’ve never had one do a pinch test that wasn’t discussed and agreed to (which based on the OP’s initial post didn’t seem to be) - and yes I could stand to lose weight and am overweight
  • NashvilleRealtor
    NashvilleRealtor Posts: 23 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    NashvilleRealtor wrote: »
    try2again wrote: »
    Why would you not just delete the thread with (presumably) your pic on it, as opposed to closing your account and leaving the thread intact?

    I just changed my username.. since the previous was my email. That's all

    I was just reminding my kids about not revealing any personal info online. I'm afraid both of your usernames just became an example of what not to do :(

    What your Dr. did was unprofessional and icky. It's fine if you want to lose a few lbs, but I'd lose that Dr. too.

    Heyyyy just in case anyone is looking for a realtor in Nashville 😉 you know who to contact hehe
    But I totally agree with you!
  • NashvilleRealtor
    NashvilleRealtor Posts: 23 Member
    deannalfisher wrote: »
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    Not sure what type of doctors you are going to - I’ve never had one do a pinch test that wasn’t discussed and agreed to (which based on the OP’s initial post didn’t seem to be) - and yes I could stand to lose weight and am overweight

    And to be totally honest I wasn't even going in for him to check my weight or an annual check-up. It was something completely unrelated 😳
  • NashvilleRealtor
    NashvilleRealtor Posts: 23 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    Just wanted to point out that I wasn't going to the doctor for a checkup or anything to do with my weight.. what he did was just odd and nothing like I've ever felt with a Dr. that's all
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I think if nothing else it was a bit unprofessional especially for a first visit and can understand why the OP felt a bit uncomfortable. Doctors need to touch you for a lot of reasons, being fat is not one of them. They can see that and weigh you if they need proof.

    The usual thing for doctors in my experience, male and female is they inform you if they are going to touch you and ask permission. E.G. "I am just going to feel your tummy is that Ok? Or I am just going to insert this HUGE needle you may feel a little scratch is that ok?"

    On the other hand I wouldn't give a toss if my doctor said I was fat because I am.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
    edited December 2018
    Ha!
    I am with everyone else. Doctor was a jerk. If he wanted to discuss your weight with you and offer advice on how you might lose some, fine. But just to pinch you and make an insensitive comment? No.
    But, to get to your actual topic ....
    As to why I am here: I hurt my knee and had to have surgery a few years back. I was always extremely active before that. I gained about 10-15 pounds over the months that I was unable to be active because of the injury, the surgery, the recovery, etc.
    I had never gained much weight in my adult life before. But, suddenly, I had a gut!
    I was appalled with myself.
    My wife was doing MFP. So I thought I would give logging a try.
    I never really got the logging thing. Unless you actually weigh your food, you're only estimating and it is very hard to be accurate. Fortunately for me, my knee is better and I became extremely active again and the midsection is gone anyway.
    I don't log my food anymore. I just log my activity.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,099 Member
    try2again wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    See, I didn't read it as a 'fairly standard pinch test' at all (is there such a thing?) I'm examining my past experiences with doctors to see if I can figure out why I reacted so strongly and am coming up blank. They've all been thoroughly professional. Obviously something is causing me to read this in a different light as you and several others. Something to ponder...

    Yeah, maybe there are doctors here that can speak to this, but I've never heard of a "pinch test", let alone do I think it's "standard". I'm getting the same vibe from it that you got... an invasion of personal space.

    Edited.

    In my experience a visit to a doctor of any kind (GP, OB-GYN, orthopedist, dentist, eye doctor) is nothing BUT an invasion of personal space from beginning to end.

    Would I appreciate it if they told me how they were going to touch me and why at each stage of the exam? Sure.

    Do I understand that when they perform similar exams on 20 to 40 patients a day, rushing to keep up with a schedule and compensation mechanism that values # of patients seen over quality of care given, that it's easy to forget that what's routine to them isn't routine to their patients? Yes.

    Personally, if I had a doctor who didn't seem to know how to use their sense of touch as a diagnostic tool, and who had to rely on lab tests for every last decision, I wouldn't be too happy.

    I didn't read OP's description as indicating something sexually inappropriate, and her follow-up posts confirm that she didn't, either. My response would have been different if she had indicated that it had that vibe.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    Hmmm, I too find it odd that he would comment on a woman that is 135 pounds. I get that you are shorter than some but really not that far over and I think he’s focused too much on weight as a reason for your health issues. Losing a bit won’t hurt you but I think a doctor who is more balanced in his/her approach might be an idea for future. Anyway welcome to MFP you will find loads of helpful folks on here.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    edited December 2018
    lynn_glenmont wrote: »
    try2again wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    See, I didn't read it as a 'fairly standard pinch test' at all (is there such a thing?) I'm examining my past experiences with doctors to see if I can figure out why I reacted so strongly and am coming up blank. They've all been thoroughly professional. Obviously something is causing me to read this in a different light as you and several others. Something to ponder...

    Yeah, maybe there are doctors here that can speak to this, but I've never heard of a "pinch test", let alone do I think it's "standard". I'm getting the same vibe from it that you got... an invasion of personal space.

    Edited.

    In my experience a visit to a doctor of any kind (GP, OB-GYN, orthopedist, dentist, eye doctor) is nothing BUT an invasion of personal space from beginning to end.

    Would I appreciate it if they told me how they were going to touch me and why at each stage of the exam? Sure.

    Do I understand that when they perform similar exams on 20 to 40 patients a day, rushing to keep up with a schedule and compensation mechanism that values # of patients seen over quality of care given, that it's easy to forget that what's routine to them isn't routine to their patients? Yes.

    Personally, if I had a doctor who didn't seem to know how to use their sense of touch as a diagnostic tool, and who had to rely on lab tests for every last decision, I wouldn't be too happy.

    I didn't read OP's description as indicating something sexually inappropriate, and her follow-up posts confirm that she didn't, either. My response would have been different if she had indicated that it had that vibe.

    I wasn't trying to imply he was being sexually inappropriate. I originally had questioned if gender might be an issue, but I had more in mind if greater respect would be shown to a man in that situation than a small woman. It sounds like they had discussed her weight, she agreed it needed addressed, and as an afterthought- not particularly a "test"- he pinched her stomach.

    I've had my share of doctors & tests done over the years, including delivering 2 babies where it seems like everybody & their brother is performing a vaginal exam every 5 minutes. I have always been shown courtesy and accorded dignity. As a previous poster mentioned, my doctors have always either explicitly asked permission or at least given "fair warning" for what they are about to do. I don't doubt there are doctors out there that don't meet that standard of courtesy, or get busy & tired and "slip", but fortunately I have never encountered one. It was probably an over-reaction to say, "Get a new doctor" based on that one encounter alone, but if it were part of a pattern, or the doctor seemed to be belittling me, I sure would.

    I think I'll bow out of the whole "was it inappropriate" discussion now and let the OP get back to collecting others' experiences. :)
  • MichaelK1007
    MichaelK1007 Posts: 136 Member
    Sorry to hear of your poor experience at the doctors. I am glad to see you here with a specific goal. I been logging food for almost a year now and it’s really made a difference. Before I was tracking I would just guess and I found I was way off thinking I was eating healthy. Once I began tracking I realized I was eating significantly more calories than I ever imagined. Now I still track everything and I know exactly how my body responds to the foods I eat. The most helpful part is the tracking of my macros and learning how to adjust them based on my program and goals. Good luck and feel free to add me.
  • Lillymoo01
    Lillymoo01 Posts: 2,865 Member
    edited December 2018
    To say that you are overweight and could lose a few pounds .... I wish more doctors would actually do that. Too many won't say a word, even when the extra weight is impacting on their health.
    To pinch your stomach the way he did. Uncalled for and unnecessary. I have had both male and female doctors touch pretty much every part of my body that can be touched and not once did I ever feel uncomfortable with them doing so. Please address this with him (either directly, through email or via someone else at the practice). This way he can learn from his mistakes and realise he totally crossed the line. With luck, this could prevent him from doing it to others.
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
    NashvilleRealtor wrote: »
    Danp wrote: »
    Yeah. I'm not sure I get the outrage towards the doctor to be honest.

    I mean he did a fairly standard pinch test and provided an observation, hardly unprofessional. In fact that's exactly his profession. To notice, confirm and advice on health factors so I'd see it as the epitome of professionalism in that he's taking a genuine interest in his patients well-being and not just treating immediate symptoms and shoving them out the door.

    Just wanted to point out that I wasn't going to the doctor for a checkup or anything to do with my weight.. what he did was just odd and nothing like I've ever felt with a Dr. that's all

    Again, that to me just indicates that he's taken a genuine interest in your overall health. That he was seeing and treating a person and not just a medical condition. Do you honestly think he was trying to put you down or was he making a clinical observation?

    What if it was an irregular skin blemish that he noticed? Would you prefer that he check it out or think to himself "hmmm.. that could be melanoma, but she ask to see me about that so I won't say anything". I understand the two situations aren't directly comparable. I'm just trying to illustrate my point.
  • NashvilleRealtor
    NashvilleRealtor Posts: 23 Member
    hroderick wrote: »
    My doctor does much more vile things to me. Was his diagnosis right or wrong? Will following his advice add years to your life? Would your reaction differ if the doctor was the same gender as you?

    I would be the same, male or female.. it was odd that's all
  • timeforwork
    timeforwork Posts: 114 Member
    If your original reason for visiting the doctor was a one off I'd forget about it, no need to wind yourself up if you only visit the doctor every few years and he could well of moved on by then. If it is an ongoing condition and you go to the doctors regularly depending on your personality and exact situation either ensure you have a doctor change if your a non confrontational person ( or take a friend) or if your happy to stick up for your self and the condition is in no way related to weight then if he brings up the subject just shut him down and say you are here about (X) and please keep to the subject as my weight is not the reason for the visit. If weight can in any way be linked to your condition then if it's brought up again you can just say I am working on it thank you. Having a few ideas or what to say in advance can help prevent that jaw drop nothing to say for shock moment! Good luck with your goals x
  • derbygraham
    derbygraham Posts: 47 Member
    The opinion of a medical professional who had studied for decades, and keeps practising, means a great deal to me. So when my doctor told me I was overweight, it really helped me focus on losing weight. I think your doctor did his job and is concerned for you. Good luck in your journey to better health.
  • gilko93
    gilko93 Posts: 27 Member
    Tell him *kitten* off next time
  • bobsburgersfan
    bobsburgersfan Posts: 6,471 Member
    NashvilleRealtor wrote: »
    I'm 5"1 and I weight 135 lb. I certainly don't think that he meant it in a sexual way or anything like that but it was definitely awkward and uncomfortable. The fact is that he said I was overweight and that's pretty much all you needed to say for me to start doing something about it.
    After he said I was overweight and I acknowledged it he reached for my stomach, pinched it with his hand, have it two light pulls and he said ".. You have more than you need" and that's the part that made me feel uncomfortable and awkward. I certainly have never had a doctor tug my fat before it was my first time seeing him too. I know people are going to say that I'm weak or easily offended but him going that extra step made me feel pretty bad about my stomach and confidence 😅
    Anyway it happened, it's done, and I'm doing something about it 👍👍

    He pinched you AFTER already discussing your weight? That's definitely an unnecessary invasion of personal space, IMO. Probably just bad bedside manner, but still. Awkward and cringey. And obviously there are a lot of differing perspectives here about what a doctor should or shouldn't say about weight, but as a morbidly obese person, I think it's a bit over the top to bring up weight with a woman who has maybe 10 lbs to lose, unless you have a history with a doctor and they know it's out of the ordinary for you. On a first time visit? Nope. Regardless, I'm glad it motivated you!

    To answer your original question, I'm here because I've been overweight my entire life. In the last 10 years or so, I've had a couple sessions of losing decent chunks (approx 50 lbs), maintaining for a while, and then slowly regaining. This summer I I hit a weight that I had sworn I'd NEVER see again (although thankfully, still 30 lbs less than my highest ever). It woke me up, I got back on track, and I've been going strong ever since.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
    My Dr told me to loss about 40 lbs because my cholesterol level was nearing the high end. That's their job, although I certainly wouldn't care to be pinched!
  • garystrickland357
    garystrickland357 Posts: 598 Member
    My doctor is interesting. He has a *kitten* bedside manner - but a big heart when you get to know him. He was once obese himself, but now does full Ironman competitions. We live in a small town and have been friends for years. He was always blunt about my weight but supportive in any efforts to gain control. Since I have lost my weight and returned to a normal BMI he has expressed his genuine happiness for me. So, only you can judge if the belly pinch was out of line - based on your comments it seems it was.

    As far as why we are here? I came here to use MFP as a tool to regain control of my weight. It has worked for me. I hope you find success as well.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I think that is bad manners of him and unprofessional. Especially considering how you don't have much to lose, are you even overweight right now? Also especially since you were seeing him for an unrelated reason, not even for an annual check up
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Yeah, this kind of inappropriate (IMO) stuff is why I always have a female doctor.

    To be fair though - I had the same female doctor when I was 80 pounds heavier and she never said one word about my weight when I came in and complained about all kinds of health issues that now are resolved simply by my weight loss. So, her non-action on my weight was also a problem.

    We're never happy, right? Too much touching, not enough talking, it's always something.

    Nashville, I hope you're over it. It was uncomfortable but no real harm done I hope. Just a momentary weirdness.
  • KristaMac88
    KristaMac88 Posts: 163 Member
    Ive been to many doctors appointments and have never had my weight come up as part of an exam. But im 5'3 and even before my pregnancies was around 175. So he doesnt need to look hard or pinch to see im overweight. That being said.. evening during my pregnancies and gaining another 20lbs plus gestational diabetes, neither doctor ever told me to watch my weight. I do now..because i want to lose weight and avoid diabetes for me. But I would definitely feel awkward to! I would not feel bad at all though girl about those last 10lbs! that may be harder to lose but your closer to your bodies average goal weight than alot of us here!
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