Mental barrier to gaining weight
alexmose
Posts: 792 Member
Hi all,
I am 5’3’’ and spent the last year going from 126 to 113 pounds. I didn’t love the way I looked so I hit the weights and started gaining weight to add on more muscle.
Now, I am feeling kinda sad that my efforts are going to waste. I’m now 117 pounds, gaining 4 pounds in just a month a don’t see much progress. At the beginning of December I was at 21% body fat.
Am I gaining weight too fast for results (aka am I just getting fat)? I lift at least 3-5x per week and am trying to get bodypump certified so I am focusing on my upper body (I am a female).
On another note, how did you all get over the mental barrier of gaining weight for your first bulk? Any advice is appreciated!
I am 5’3’’ and spent the last year going from 126 to 113 pounds. I didn’t love the way I looked so I hit the weights and started gaining weight to add on more muscle.
Now, I am feeling kinda sad that my efforts are going to waste. I’m now 117 pounds, gaining 4 pounds in just a month a don’t see much progress. At the beginning of December I was at 21% body fat.
Am I gaining weight too fast for results (aka am I just getting fat)? I lift at least 3-5x per week and am trying to get bodypump certified so I am focusing on my upper body (I am a female).
On another note, how did you all get over the mental barrier of gaining weight for your first bulk? Any advice is appreciated!
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Replies
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how much weight are you wanting to gain? a pound a week is the max you want to be gaining really, when only 0.25 of that is going to be muscle.
i think you may need to look at your expectations over such a short period of time.
which lifting programme are you following?2 -
TavistockToad wrote: »how much weight are you wanting to gain? a pound a week is the max you want to be gaining really, when only 0.25 of that is going to be muscle.
i think you may need to look at your expectations over such a short period of time.
which lifting programme are you following?
I am doing Stronglifts. I lifted a lot during my weight loss year but I would still consider myself a beginner.
Also, do you think I gained too much too fast? Should I cut for a week?0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »how much weight are you wanting to gain? a pound a week is the max you want to be gaining really, when only 0.25 of that is going to be muscle.
i think you may need to look at your expectations over such a short period of time.
which lifting programme are you following?
I am doing Stronglifts. I lifted a lot during my weight loss year but I would still consider myself a beginner.
Also, do you think I gained too much too fast? Should I cut for a week?
i don't think you should cut, no, but i think you should reduce your surplus by 200 cals.
how long are you planning on bulking for?2 -
TavistockToad wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »how much weight are you wanting to gain? a pound a week is the max you want to be gaining really, when only 0.25 of that is going to be muscle.
i think you may need to look at your expectations over such a short period of time.
which lifting programme are you following?
I am doing Stronglifts. I lifted a lot during my weight loss year but I would still consider myself a beginner.
Also, do you think I gained too much too fast? Should I cut for a week?
i don't think you should cut, no, but i think you should reduce your surplus by 200 cals.
how long are you planning on bulking for?
I was planning to bulk until I hit 120 or until early Feb, whichever comes first (that’s when bodypump cert should be finished$.0 -
As a female I would actually recommend gaining no more than 0.5lb per week from now on. Don't worry about what is already gained. If you try to cut down again you will just lose momentum and progress, and it will just set you back.
In terms of the mental aspect, it is tough no matter what. But focusing on the positives helps... gains in the right places (woah check out my delts and glutes!), strength, looking at progress of other people who have bulked and learning that the fat gained will come off (it's like a gift wrapped present...you will have to have patience before you open it, and just because it's covered doesn't mean the goodies aren't inside). Also with each cycle it becomes easier and you learn to trust the process more and more.13 -
Here is my progress via month-end weigh ins averages:
Sept 19 113.71lb
Oct 19. 113.11
Nov 19. 111.68
Dec 19 110.93
Jan 20 110.99
Feb 20 109.65
Current 111.00
Bf 18.8% currently
Eating 2200 cals currently, PHUL, 5’3’’ femal 23 yo. Bodypump once per week (girl’s gotta teach), cardio 30 mins 2-3x per week on elliptical LISS, occasional abs 😂. Feeling a bit chunky after a big weekend of eating, but I’ve been heavier. Still working the weights, lifts going up SO SLOWLY. Thoughts?0 -
It seems like you are maintaining or very slowly losing. Is that your goal or are you trying to gain?1
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Attempting to gain. Upped calls over the months from 1800 to 2200. Just started 2200 last week. Will eval end of next week. Slowly gain is goal. I know it looks bad but damn this is tons of food
Bf is rheno scale. Not accurate but looking at trends.0 -
Yea keep upping the cals, add a shake, oil (or other fat) to your foods, an extra snack like nuts, and have milk or juice with some meals3
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My thoughts are that you could either maintain and recomp for a while if the notion of gaining really freaks you. Or try and gain really slowly. Like a pound a month. If you do the latter you have to accept that the changes you see may not be pleasing to your eye. But unless you parade around in a bikini all day, no one else will really notice or care. And if they do, they aren’t worth crying about.
I’m sitting here feeling overfull as I type this ( I like the feeling though as I’m a bit of a glutton) . I’m 4 months into my first proper gaining phase. I don’t like what I see in the mirror: a loss of any ab definition. But I feel like my legs are getting more muscular. So I’m focussing on that and the progress in the gym.3 -
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happysquatter wrote: »
Lifting progress is more of a focus than 2 years ago. I do PHUL, teach Bodypump once a week, cardio 2-3x week 30 mins. Unfortunately, I just had to drop weight bc I finally accepted the fact that my squat and lunge was not low enough. Bench press is stuck at 80lbx4 for the past 3 months which sucks so much. DL has progressed slowly, talkin 2.5lb and/or an extra rep every 3-4 weeks.0 -
Good to see you’re making DL progress!
For the Bench, you could try
(a) microplates
(b) swap out DB flyes on the hypertrophy day and put in bench for volume instead.
One or both of those should slowly increase your power day lifts
Sounds like you have full active weeks! Cheers 🙂1 -
happysquatter wrote: »Good to see you’re making DL progress!
For the Bench, you could try
(a) microplates
(b) swap out DB flyes on the hypertrophy day and put in bench for volume instead.
One or both of those should slowly increase your power day lifts
Sounds like you have full active weeks! Cheers 🙂
Will do. Occasionally like today I get over trained. Such is life.0 -
Currently the daily fluctuations kill me. Such as today I’m 111.8 lbs, almost 1 lb higher than yesterday. Could be a number of things, water retention, salt, etc., but ugh! It’s discouraging to see the scale move up. I JUST started 2200 last week so too early to tell it that too much or just right. Rant over.0
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Do you weigh daily using a trend weight app? That can help sort through the fluctuations over time so you know you are on the right track. Ultimately you have to keep in mind that fat gain doesn't come on suddenly, it takes time, so a huge jump will be water and food weight.5
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You might be overdoing it on the cardio if you're lifting is stalled. If it's low intensity cardio then you're probably fine. If you're doing higher intensity activities, 2-3x per week, then that could be an issue depending on age, genetics, sleep, calorie surplus or deficit, etc. Also, I took body pump for more than a year while I was running. It is primarily cardio, so if you're not counting that as cardio you should be.
If you're weighing yourself daily you really need to use something like Libra or Trendweight. A person's weight varies too much day to day to base things like calorie adjustments and health assessments on the daily value. You need to watch the trend instead.3 -
You might be overdoing it on the cardio if you're lifting is stalled. If it's low intensity cardio then you're probably fine. If you're doing higher intensity activities, 2-3x per week, then that could be an issue depending on age, genetics, sleep, calorie surplus or deficit, etc. Also, I took body pump for more than a year while I was running. It is primarily cardio, so if you're not counting that as cardio you should be.
If you're weighing yourself daily you really need to use something like Libra or Trendweight. A person's weight varies too much day to day to base things like calorie adjustments and health assessments on the daily value. You need to watch the trend instead.
Thanks. I only do LISS on the elliptical and I count Bodypump as cardio. I currently use happy scale.1 -
112.6 lbs today. What??? Thinking it’s time to drop 100cals. Back to 2100 and reassess. Seeing the scale jump 2lbs in one week..,that makes me think I am on a dreamer bull.0
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112.6 lbs today. What??? Thinking it’s time to drop 100cals. Back to 2100 and reassess.
Don't you think you should keep your calorie goal the same at least for an entire month bearing in mind you say you are attempting to gain weight?
Reacting to short term fluctuations isn't good for your happiness, stress levels or for attaining your goal.9 -
112.6 lbs today. What??? Thinking it’s time to drop 100cals. Back to 2100 and reassess.
You gotta track your monthly average gain else you are gonna drive yourself mad. Just like when losing, there are fluctuations in a daily basis. Look at the average trend up and assess accordingly. I’m trending up .4lbs a week. I’m good with that though it is slightly higher than I want ideally. I’ll see what happens over next 2 weeks.2 -
You don’t think 2lbs in one week is a dreamer bulk? Just wondering if I’ll end the month 6lbs up. As a female that’s...not optimal.0
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Surely if you are depressed about the weight going up (ie trying to lose weight or maintain?) you are not really gong to see any improvement in your lifting? Particularly as you are not very big anyway? I know my lifting (which is probably similar to yours for bench) is not going to improve as I have a total phobia of gaining weight ...2
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Pipsqueak1965 wrote: »Surely if you are depressed about the weight going up (ie trying to lose weight or maintain?) you are not really gong to see any improvement in your lifting? Particularly as you are not very big anyway? I know my lifting (which is probably similar to yours for bench) is not going to improve as I have a total phobia of gaining weight ...
This is something to consider. Thank you for bringing this up.0 -
You don’t think 2lbs in one week is a dreamer bulk? Just wondering if I’ll end the month 6lbs up. As a female that’s...not optimal.
I think one week is a crazy timescale to come to the conclusion that you need to change your calorie goal.
Try doing some maths -
6lbs of fat = 21,000 calorie surplus, divide by 31 days and that would be a daily surplus of 677 cals. Is that going to happen?
Should I change my calorie goal the day after a Chinese meal because the bathrooms scales jump 4lbs?
Did that one meal put me in a 14,000 calorie surplus or is it just a totally normal weight fluctuation that will sort itself out without intervention?
Remember the title of this thread is "Mental barrier to gaining weight" - what you are doing is reinforcing that barrier. You won't change your results without changing your behaviours.
In the language of the excellent book The Chimp Paradox what you are doing is a typical chimp (emotional) response and not a thoughtful/logical response.6 -
As a few people have pointed out, you want to bulk...bulking is gaining weight, fat and muscle (if you are lifting and eating right). You are scared to put weight on. I do not think you should be bulking. And on top of that adding and then decreasing calories is not giving you time to adjust to the new calorie level.
I recall when I was bulking (I was not a a low body fat level, it was for psychological reasons as I have suffered from bulimia and anorexia in the past and still get triggered to this day, although I do not spiral anymore, so I am fully into recovery) I had to go quite high on the cals to gain any weight. I was up to 3000 cals (I am way heavier than you), but I am pretty active and my body needed more cals for it to go up....I stuck to putting the cals up, never decreasing them again, in order to bulk you need to be adding cals and sticking to those cal goals for a sustained period.
If you are not ready mentally to do this (I do not think you are), just sit at maintenance (stop messing with your cal intake when you see daily fluctuations, they are normal) and lift heavy...if you are a newb then you will see some body recomp. I am an advanced lifter and doing things slowly this time around I even saw some recomp happening even without the larger cal intakes...slow and steady wins the race. Maintain your weight and cal goals and keep increasing the weights on the bar...2 -
You don’t think 2lbs in one week is a dreamer bulk? Just wondering if I’ll end the month 6lbs up. As a female that’s...not optimal.
I think one week is a crazy timescale to come to the conclusion that you need to change your calorie goal.
Try doing some maths -
6lbs of fat = 21,000 calorie surplus, divide by 31 days and that would be a daily surplus of 677 cals. Is that going to happen?
Should I change my calorie goal the day after a Chinese meal because the bathrooms scales jump 4lbs?
Did that one meal put me in a 14,000 calorie surplus or is it just a totally normal weight fluctuation that will sort itself out without intervention?
Remember the title of this thread is "Mental barrier to gaining weight" - what you are doing is reinforcing that barrier. You won't change your results without changing your behaviours.
In the language of the excellent book The Chimp Paradox what you are doing is a typical chimp (emotional) response and not a thoughtful/logical response.
Thank you for this logic. Ok sticking with 2200 cals. I know I am my own enemy here. Thank you all for encouragement. Will check back in end of next week.3 -
OP I didn’t want to bulk for my first 3 years of resistance training. During that time I hovered around the same weight. And trained religiously. I made some progress with my vogue goal of getting more muscular. I made some progress on a few emotional issues around eating and food.
There is nothing at all wrong with recomping if bulking is too mentally stressful for you at this time. Is recomping ‘optimal’ ? maybe not, depending on how you define optimal. But it taught me patience and allowed me to get into a good training routine and habits. If it takes me a little longer than it might have done otherwise then I’m ok with that because I think mental health gainzzzz are as important as looking ripped.6 -
cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »OP I didn’t want to bulk for my first 3 years of resistance training. During that time I hovered around the same weight. And trained religiously. I made some progress with my vogue goal of getting more muscular. I made some progress on a few emotional issues around eating and food.
There is nothing at all wrong with recomping if bulking is too mentally stressful for you at this time. Is recomping ‘optimal’ ? maybe not, depending on how you define optimal. But it taught me patience and allowed me to get into a good training routine and habits. If it takes me a little longer than it might have done otherwise then I’m ok with that because I think mental health gainzzzz are as important as looking ripped.
This is a similar spot I was in. As mentioned in Oroginal post, I was much bigger a couple years ago. Now I’m told I’m too thin and I think being 112, still on the lower end of BMI. Want more muscles to help muscles pop and I know cut bulk is the way to do that. I recomped for those 2 years. All that said, I’m in the same spot you were.0
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