What would your Christmas letter say?

LiftingSpirits

I have a relative who sends a letter with her Christmas card every year. She gives updates about each of her grown kids' lives and the lives of their children over the past year. I got to thinking that if my mom sent a letter like this it would be quite entertaining.
So in a few sentences tell me what your end of the year 2018 letter would say.

LiftingSpirits

Veronica and Sampson, her cat, continue to live in Idaho. I have lost all hope for grandchildren because she continues to meet only psychos and thieves who manage to turn her life upside down. Luckily she enjoys her job, even if it is far from us, and seems to have a decent group of friends even though I suspect at least one of them is a raging alcoholic.

crampus1

My least favorite daughter has ruined any possibilities of us living our golden years in style. We’ve sold our estate in the country and have been looking into trailer parks In which to relocate for our retirement years. The grandchildren, who we often times pretend not to belong to when out in public for family functions, continue to transform into their electronic devices and are slowly losing all capacity to communicate with actual living people.

crampus1

We end the year with yet ANOTHER grandrodent. I’m sure you’ll be seeing pictures as, regardless of the thousands and thousands of dollars we’be spent on her college education, she still delights in dressing them up in little hats and sending us photos. I guess I’m glad it’s only the hamsters she is taking pictures of and sending out onto the inter webs.

crampus1

She eats gluten, red meat, drinks wine on the weekdays, and she continues to make questionable choices as we cannot even fathom how she’s made it this far. She doesn’t even own any apple Cider vinegar. We can only blame the fact that we let her listen to that “Baby it’s cold outside” song when she was younger. Obviously that ruined any potential of succeeding at life as a woman that she ever had.

crampus1

A friend told me she spends her free time starting internet threads about innuendos on some weightloss site. I don’t even know if it’s a real weightloss site because it doesn’t appear to have been working.

LiftingSpirits

iMago wrote: »

if my old man wrote one about me, that's hard to say tbh.
maybe something like:

"the boy continues to not listen to me. but he started going to the doctor again finally, and his job is still treating him pretty good too. he's still playing around with those cameras, even though he aint never gonna make no money from it. he changed his phone number again too. you know how he is. i asked if she and him were ever talking anymore. he said no."

I will say right this minute that if you wanted to make money off of your photography you absolutely could.

breefoshee

Hmmm.. I've lived a lot of life this year and moved back to my hometown after being away for 3 years.

"Yep. She moved back after traveling the world for the past 3 years. Still single but that's alright. Still eats all those exotic foods... and speaks that... Mexican? Spanish... shoot I don't know what it's called. She was dating a guy who had the same name as me and we just thought it was a hoot... but now she's just hanging out with this guy, Pete, who might be her bestie. No kids... But enough about her... my son is giving me ANOTHER grandbaby! I'm a grandma for the 3rd time because of him!"

mustacheU2Lift

Child #3 seems to be doing well. Honestly I forget to check. But I'm assuming she's doing pretty great. Most likely child #3 ...wait...who ...well in general she's got her life together because she's a pretty stable chick. However, please keep her in your prayers as she is still divorced and single. We are so proud of her.

mustacheU2Lift

That was kind of cathartic

LiftingSpirits

mustacheU2Lift wrote: »

That was kind of cathartic

I was afraid I depressed everyone. I was hoping it would make people laugh a little, but I think I failed 😔

mustacheU2Lift

LiftingSpirits wrote: »

mustacheU2Lift wrote: »

That was kind of cathartic

I was afraid I depressed everyone. I was hoping it would make people laugh a little, but I think I failed 😔

Haha to be honest yours made me laugh...and inspired me

LiftingSpirits

mustacheU2Lift wrote: »

LiftingSpirits wrote: »

mustacheU2Lift wrote: »

That was kind of cathartic

I was afraid I depressed everyone. I was hoping it would make people laugh a little, but I think I failed 😔

Haha to be honest yours made me laugh...and inspired me

😘 Good

MrSunshinez

Dear Jenny,

My son, MrSunshinez, is driving me crazy again. Yep, just like the last time I wrote but this time it's a new boyfriend. This one has tattoos, rides a motorcycle and owns a construction company. You wouldn't even know they were homosexuals if you didn't see them kiss and hold hands. They're thinking about adopting a german shepherd puppy and naming him Bullet. I'm just shaking my head.

skctilidie

If my mom wrote one about me? Yikes...

“My first-born somehow magically lost quite a bit of weight this year and I don’t understand why she could do that and think it’s not fair because I ‘really don’t eat that much’ but I somehow keep gaining weight anyway. She still keeps wasting money going to watch soccer games and letting her kids play soccer even though sometimes soccer players get horrible injuries. I still love to insist on doing things that she’s already told me she’s going to do and to then complain to her about how I do everything and no one helps and I also love to tell her every detail of my bowel movements and whatever my hypochondria is telling me is wrong with me every single day - I mean, that’s the whole reason she went into nursing, right?”