Someone said I am "pushing myself" and I find that sad

RealWorldStrengthLLC

This is really just a rant, but something I wanted to discuss too.

I was talking to a friend about a health issue I've been experiencing (vertigo, I made a thread on it...that's not what this is about though) and he said "may be you're pushing yourself too hard"

Holy *kitten* did I get fired up. Offended almost, and not a lot offends me. Without even really thinking I shot back with "Pushing myself?! I go to school full time and lift weights an hour a day. I do active stuff like snowboard and dirt bike and ride bikes occasionally. If you think that's pushing the human body that's pathetic. Very few stuff I did in the Army was even truly pushing myself to the brink. Maybe Ranger selection. Worlds strongest man competitors, the are pushing themselves. Olympic swimmers. Whatever guys are in the suck down in mountain phase of ranger school in GA. The dude who pulled a mini Cooper a full marathon. Those guys are pushing it. Damn. You really think I'm pushing myself? You have no IDEA of what the human body is capable of."

I was even taken aback by my response...but it really did irritate me that having a weight lifting routine and generally just being active was seen as "pushing it". Have we really fallen so out of fitness as a society? Do people really forget that humans evolved to walk, run, hunt, carry loads on our backs, build our own shelters etc?

I know I'm kind of being dramatic but for some reason this REALLY bothered me. I know it was well meaning, but part of me took it as a personal attack against what I'm truly physically capable of and also just what humans in general are capable of.

jennifer_417

There's a difference between pushing yourself in what may be considered day-to-day life and pushing yourself to the extremes of what the human body can survive. Granted, I wasn't there, but it does seem like your friend was mostly just concerned for you.

paperpudding

Hmm, does seem an over reaction to me.

I would take the comment as meaning Maybe you have too much on your plate
rather than you are pushing your body to limits of physical capability.

And maybe commenter is completely off the mark - but seems a reasonable question, given you were talking about your health issues

I'm sure person will be thinking now Don't bother me with your health issues again, if your'e only going to bite my head off when I reply.

Machka9

youcantflexcardio wrote: »

I was talking to a friend about a health issue I've been experiencing (vertigo, I made a thread on it...that's not what this is about though) and he said "may be you're pushing yourself too hard"

I don't see what the problem is. You've got a health issue (vestibular disorder ... look it up), and your friend thinks maybe you need to dial things back a little and rest.

A quick question ... did you have an injury before developing your vestibular disorder?

foxtrot1965

It sounds like you're a tough cookie, and thats great. But, not everyone is. It doesn't make it sad either, it's just different for everyone. Sorry to hear about the health issues and hope they get resolved.

scribblemoma

Sounds like being concerned for you is a waste of time. With an actual health issue all those things you do could result in injury. Not that you should stop...but maybe you could unwad those britches a little bit and just say thanks for the concern.

fastfoodietofitcutie

Maybe you need to look into some therapy if you are getting that riled up over an innocent comment.

aokoye

I think that you really need to realize that not everyone is built the same. Pushing hard, physically, for person A is not for person B. Moreover, person A may have been able to push X amount of hard at one point in their life and now and now may only be able to push Y amount of hard for a wide variety of reasons including health, age, fitness, etc.

In short, I really don't think that your friend wasn't in the wrong for the comment they made.

mbaker566

Your friend was concerned for you. Your reaction seems very much out of line with a simple comment.
pushing too hard is a recipe for injury
a more appropriate response might be something like-thank you for your concern but i'm good.

amusedmonkey

The art of considering context is a dying art. People, including me sometimes, tend to internalize some comments because we fail to remember that other people don't live in our inner world.

Just a few minutes ago, my mom asked me to help her put earrings on, and I've never been good at that. Her ears are pierced funny, so when I tried and couldn't, I told her I can't do this. She said, "you can never do anything right". Was she really saying "you're a failure" or "I'm frustrated because I'm running late and can't get this done"? Context is important. I see your friend's comment as something that is driven by concern and the desire to help you. Some health issues can be helped by dialing back on activity, and that's true regardless of your fitness level. That doesn't sound like it was said to criticize your abilities.

RealWorldStrengthLLC

Wow. A lot of people seem to missing the point.

First off, the vertigo has been checked by a medical professional. It's probably BPPV and likely nothing to worry about and not caused by physical activity - it just happened, no real cause. The friend knew this.

Second, I know the friend was concerned, I pretty much said so in my original post.

My friend is extremely sedentary. My whole point is that I find it very sad that shedding weight, following a lifting routine, and having active hobbies could even be considered pushing oneself. It is not. What i want to know is why have we fallen so far away from fitness as a whole that an average person would consider that pushing oneself?

Also someone asked if I've ever had any injuries before this. The answer is yes. I've broken bones, cracked ribs, had plenty of stitches, I've had surgical hardware put in 4 times in 3 different spots, broke some of that hardware once and had to have it changed out.

kimny72

So you're angry at your friend for suggesting you take it easy while you're not feeling well? Dizziness can be a tricky symptom of all sorts of things, some benign and some serious. Your friend was concerned about you.

MelanieCN77

youcantflexcardio wrote: »

Wow. A lot of people seem to missing the point.

No, they just feel differently about it than you.

elisa123gal

I hope you've googled the easy exercise you can do to get rid of vertigo. My husband was having it... and the exercise cured it. I think we found the exercise demonstrated on youtube.

It is hard to have a health issue when you put so much into being fit and active.

mbaker566

i kinda think you missed the point of your friend's comment.

kshama2001

I think your friend reacted appropriately for the way you framed your comment.

You: I'm having this health issue
Him: Maybe you are pushing yourself
You: [overreacts]

That said, this guy knows how to push himself: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/nov/04/it-was-brutal-ross-edgley-completes-157-day-swim-around-britain

amusedmonkey

youcantflexcardio wrote: »

Wow. A lot of people seem to missing the point.

My friend is extremely sedentary. My whole point is that I find it very sad that shedding weight, following a lifting routine, and having active hobbies could even be considered pushing oneself. It is not. What i want to know is why have we fallen so far away from fitness as a whole that an average person would consider that pushing oneself?

I don't think it's sad that people are differently able. Lifting does a number on me so I don't do it. I also find it boring, so I don't do it. My decision not lift doesn't make me better nor worse than anyone, it's just a choice I made. It sounds like you are judging your friend for being sedentary not the other way around.

To answer your question: we have evolved to conserve energy. It's a basic human instinct to want to do more while using less energy. The conveniences of modern life have made this goal much more attainable, so being sedentary is more prevalent. Is it a good thing? No. Is it a moral failure? Also no. It just is. Some people try to be more active, others have other priorities.

kimny72

youcantflexcardio wrote: »

Wow. A lot of people seem to missing the point.

First off, the vertigo has been checked by a medical professional. It's probably BPPV and likely nothing to worry about and not caused by physical activity - it just happened, no real cause. The friend knew this.

Second, I know the friend was concerned, I pretty much said so in my original post.

My friend is extremely sedentary. My whole point is that I find it very sad that shedding weight, following a lifting routine, and having active hobbies could even be considered pushing oneself. It is not. What i want to know is why have we fallen so far away from fitness as a whole that an average person would consider that pushing oneself?

Also someone asked if I've ever had any injuries before this. The answer is yes. I've broken bones, cracked ribs, had plenty of stitches, I've had surgical hardware put in 4 times in 3 different spots, broke some of that hardware once and had to have it changed out.

No, I think we think you're reading too much into this. Your friends comment was most likely a smalltalk way of expressing concern.

If you are leaving work on a snowy night and a coworker goes "Drive safe!" do you take that as an insult to your driving?

There is nothing "anti-fitness" about believing a person might benefit by taking it easy for a little while when they are experiencing a health concern. It might not be necessary or even advisable, but it has nothing to do with society turning it's back on fitness.

rheddmobile

Pushing or not pushing is contextual. Today I'm going to run 5k. That's easy for me. A year ago, it would have been pushing myself, to the brink of risking injury. Yesterday I lifted weight, mostly legs, heavy, but not really any different from my usual progressive routine. However, it was pushing myself because I had run 8 miles the day before (which is a longer run than I'm used to right now) and without a rest day, my hip muscle is tired and was causing me to have poor form. I got away with it, no injuries, but there was a real risk of injury because I was working at the outside limit of my abilities. I should probably plan my schedule better in the future and allow more rest after longer runs.

That you are shedding weight, lifting, and being active is beside the point. You can do all those things in a way which allows you plenty of rest and recovery, or you can do them in a way which causes you to slowly lose fitness due to exhaustion and eventually have a stress injury. It's during rest that muscles grow. You can knead the dough all day, but if you never leave it alone, it won't rise.

Therealobi1

Are you upset with yourself or your friend

SpicyWater

It's easy to get fired up about the things you care about. I've been known to fly off the handle myself and confuse friends/family who don't understand why I'm upset. But I've always found that it's because there's something I'm upset about with myself. This may or may not be the case with you but it's something to consider.

I know if it was me I'd be frustrated that little health issues were setting me back in my fitness journey - especially since it sounds like you take it very seriously.

Without context (the friend's tone, inflection, the earlier part of the conversation) it's hard to say if your anger was justified or not. It really doesn't matter though - what matters is that you take care of your health and do the best you can each day! Maybe what might be "pushing it" one day is easy another. Nothing wrong with that - the human body changes with so many different factors inside/out of it. The fact of the matter is that close to no human bodies are conditioned to do the everyday tasks that, say, prehistoric humans were capable of routinely doing. We live in a different world.