Help....Staying on track

1234suroor

Hi guys,

Ok I have been on MFP for almost 5 months now and its really sad for me to say this but I have ended up actually gaining 20lbs than losing them. I have lurked on these forums and have literally tried everything, my BMR, my TDEE, 1200, 1500, 1600, 1800 calorie deficits (my BMR is ~1400-1500. I have tried exercising but have always ended up getting hungrier and end up eating more calories than I have "worked off" according to the machines or MFP counts. I have never done any kind of very low calorie diets per se so I generally eat significantly ok. I have read top rated books about losing weight, binge eating etc. I have tried everything you guys have recommended.

I am not saying that these methods don't work. They do, and fantastically so...if only I can stick to them for more than 2-4 days! I have logged my food for so many months that I can see whenever I am eating within a certain healthy calorie range (even above my BMR) I end up having such insane hunger pangs around the middle of the night on Day 3-4 and the next day... you guess it.. its a binge that outdoes all my efforts and is enough to add on half a pound. The next day... I feel motivated to restart, re-strategize, re-do, undo. I know this is hard, no one said losing weight was easy. Please don't tell me I eat my emotions, because I really don't have any pressing issues or problems. I just feel weak. I see you success stories and I don't know how you all stay on track. I have done it all, made charts, logged everything to a T, set realistic goals.... nothing seems to be working and this is just causing me such depression. I understand that there is no reason to be depressed about this because... well in all fairness, there are bigger problems to be depressed about in this world than carrying around a lil bit of extra weight, but unfortunately it is not about bingeing or losing weight any more. I feel as though it has become a destructive habit that I want to shake.

So I am wondering, are any of you in a similar situation? If not, how do you guys stay on track for instilling this lifestyle change. I feel as though the more I try to fight this, the more it consumes me and it takes over me (in adding pounds of fat!). I dont want this unhealthy mindset. To be honest, I dont even want to lose weight any more! I just want to focus on self-control! Yet, I cant.

Please no negative comments, I am only seeking help from those who understand where I am coming from.

Help?