My Greatest Motivation is Time

Kevdudebro

Hello all!

I’ve been obese since around ten years old. Since 13, I’ve been over 200 pounds. Needless to say, most of the weight came from bad habits that weren’t addressed in my childhood. Doritos with sour cream, pounds of spaghetti, and all the pizza I wanted. By 17, I was dealing with the prospect of graduating high school, and how finite our lives are. Here I was, 17, scared at how much longer I’d be on the earth. I got depressed and lost around 40 pounds from my loss of appetite. I finally pulled through, graduated high school, got a job, and started college. All of my success made me high and I began to eat incredibly badly after that. I discovered alcohol at 19, and drank at least 3-4 times a week with the intent of getting drunk. This continued again until I was 22, and facing another life changing decision. I needed to finish my college degree and my band was calling it quits. I plunged again into depression, and again I lost weight. But this time, I worked out and ate right to lose it. I went from 280 to 212 within 3 months. Again, I got high from the success and fell back into the old ways of bad eating and drinking. I got through breakups and other life crises until 3 weeks ago.

I was playing video games with my buddies online when I ordered pizza and pasta. A whole medium pizza and pasta for myself from dominos. Halfway through the pizza, I felt a hiccup coming up and felt my heart flutter. I am a self-diagnosed hypochondriac, so this scared me. I took a shower and laid down and the dread hit me. The depression was back. I was turning 30 on December 24. Statistically, I’d have 50-something years left, right? Wrong. I’m morbidly obese. I began panicking thinking about how I’d probably only have 15 or so good years before my obesity would make me feel like I was dying. I lost my appetite again. Nothing I loved was fun anymore. Nothing tasted good. All I could think about was how few years I would have if I kept it up. I wanted more time.

So I’ve returned to healthy habits. I’ve been getting up at 5:30 every morning to walk the neighborhood/treadmill and I’m following an exercise plan. I’ve tiered my goals. I want to get down to 250. After that, I want to get lower than the lowest I’ve weighed since 13 (212). After that, I want to get to 199. And finally, my ultimate goal is to get down to 174. That would put me at the highest weight to be considered normal weight.

My greatest motivation is making sure my time left is long, and that I can experience more things in that time. Start a family. Be successful. Take care of my parents when it’s time.

I hope this is motivational for you all, and I wish you all the best journeys!