Dealing With Personal Loss: My Story

UltraVegAthlete

Story time first: Two years ago or so I was obsessed with counting calories and exercising. I lost too much weight and was in a bad place, and I became friends with a man on MFP. He understood me and I would message him when times got bad. He helped me in recovery. He sent me a couple books to read on eating disorders and he offered to buy me a plane ticket to visit him or even to get away to somewhere else to be alone. Of course, I’m sure you’re thinking “stranger danger”, but I knew this guy after a year. We were friends on Facebook and I asked his friends about him. Was he safe? Trustworthy? Oh gosh, he was the kindest man I had ever known. It makes me tear up to think about his kindness. Anyways, we signed up for a marathon in my State and he flew over last April to run it with me. I had gained 30 pounds back over the course of the year and was feeling pretty bad, but he pushed me through the fog and we finished the race. Two hours slower than my best time, but hey, we did it. Then, it was over. He flew back home and I drove home. I didn’t hear from him again. I was wondering what happened, so I logged back onto Facebook, Strava, and MFP after having avoided them during recovery. He passed away in August. He wasn’t old or sick or overweight. He was fine. Until he wasn’t. Now I’m back on MFP, and all I can do is remember him. It’s pushing me to start counting calories again, because it’s therapeutic. I have all these resolutions for 2019, and I want to do them for him. It’s easy to do stuff for someone else, sometimes.
Anyways, if you’ve ever lost someone close to you and it’s pushed you to work on goals or better yourself, reach out to me or share a story in the comment section. How did they impact you? What do you do now in their remembrance?

wanderingarcher

I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly.
My loss has been different and I’m still finding my feet. I do find that focusing on my fitness goals right now helps keep me grounded. Maybe because it seems like something I can somewhat control in a life that has so much out of my control.
I’m glad you’re reaching out.

megleighd

How heartbreaking to hear of a friend's death. I think after I lost my grandmother I decided I wanted a baby, to love someone as much as I loved her. My daughter and I are very close, but she's 3 so lol, and my one goal is to not make her feel like I judge her as my parents did with me, but to love her unconditionally and support her life decisions. With her birth brought new goals, being a healthy and strong woman, someone she could look up to, unlike my mother. I am sure she will hate me for some reason one day, but it will not be because I was weak and let others mold my opinions or let a man run my life and mentally abuse me.

My grandmother of course had her own set of issues, but I never saw that side. I loved her with all my heart. I never wanted children, hated the thought of kids, but when you lose someone so close to you it changes something in your heart. Not only did my grandmother's passing change my views on all of that, but now having a baby was the greatest gift. I've become such a better person now. How I treat other and view the world. I grew up and learned how to love. My one goal turned into so much more, and keeps changing and growing into a wonderful thing, and I can thank my memaw for that.

robertw486

@UltraVegAthlete

I strongly suspect I know who you are talking about, and apparently everyone who came across him felt the same.

And just like people in everyday life, every loss is different. Years back a guy I knew from online passed suddenly and left all of us shocked. We always joked about hanging out when one of us got to the other coast, and I was surprised at how upset I was when he passed. He was kind to people even when they didn't deserve it, and I find myself sometimes doing the same.... simply because I know he would have.

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caco_ethes

I can relate to this feeling so well. I have lost 5 personal friends that I met online, all of them in tragic ways. One died of an aneurysm six weeks after her baby was born, two died in a plane crash with two of their three kids (he was a pilot) and two others died in a car crash that their two babies somehow survived. It really gets to me because although I had met none of them in person, I talked to them every day and considered them all close friends.

Taz6o5

I have had to deal with suicide loss . It changes you .