Worried I’ve tumbled into an eating disorder ...

nicdddd

Hi guys.

So yeah, basically what is titled. I’m 20, my weight is around 53kg and I’m around 168 cm.

I used to weigh 63kg in July and have lost dramatic weight in the past few months. (Size 10 - size 6 dress size).

University made me aware of what I was eating so In August I cut out bad foods and started becoming restrictive. Now, it has led me to fear foods and eat very little.

To put it like this l, once I subtract the calories burned on my Apple Watch, (yes I’m a major calorie counter) it leaves me with 400 net calories. And it’s nearly 10pm...

I don’t feel hungry. I just have become obsessed with diet and exercise.

Is there anyone here that has had experience with this in the past? I want back to my healthy self as my periods have stopped (6 months now) and I’m just looking a lot thinner.

Thanks.

kshama2001

Many of us cannot trust our hunger cues. Eat enough calorie dense foods, for example, nuts, peanut butter, and cheese, to meet your calorie goal. Heck, have some pizza!

Just eating more may not be enough. You probably have eating disorder resources at your school.

shadowofender

So, here's the thing. All humans would benefit from a therapist, but especially those who are afraid they might have disordered thinking. Given the things you're saying, I really think it would be more beneficial for you to speak with a professional than anything. Just because you're already feeling uncomfortable about the obsession and whatnot.

Beyond that, calorie counting does take time and effort and I totally get that it gets stuck in the head because you have to think about it constantly. That makes it difficult to handle sometimes.

KerrieA87

The simple fact that you’ve noticed an unhealthy relationship with food/diet should spur you into seeking professional support. Someone with understanding of restrictive food intake or orthorexia would be one of your best bets. There could even be support available at your uni. Good luck with it.

apullum

If you are still in school and your school has a counseling center, make an appointment with them. They generally have lots of experience working with people who may have eating disorders. If you are not in school, then you should make an appointment with a local mental health professional who is trained in treating eating disorders.

Many students (and many people in general) believe that their situations are not "bad enough" to go to counseling. However, there is no minimum level of suffering you have to endure before you can see a counselor or therapist. You are telling us that you think you need help, and that alone is an excellent reason to see a mental health professional.

In addition, you mention physical health issues. You're on the low end of the BMI range for your height, and your periods have stopped. You sound like you know that your physical health is not in a good place right now. I would recommend making an appointment with your doctor in addition to your therapist appointment.

Running2Fit

Counseling as soon as possible. Eating disorders are very serious and can become very dangerous very quickly. This is not something to try and just fix yourself. Get yourself the support you need.

If you are still in college they should have counseling available at either very low cost or free.

emmylootwo

This is how my eating disorder started. I lost weight first reasonably healthy. Then somewhere along the way food and exercise became an obsession. I started restricting more and more. Started fearing food so much that it led to purging. And not just vomiting either - I took laxatives, exercised for hours, and fasted on water and Diet Coke. Like you, I also lost my period for over a year. Please get help asap. Because EDs do get progressively worse! At my worst, I even stopped brushing my teeth and taking showers for fear that toothpaste/shampoo had incidental calories that would leach into my body.

Have you struggled with depression, anxiety, or OCD in the past/present? Because these are very common co-disorders of EDs. Many professionals believe an ED is just a manifestation of the three -- a way for us to cope funnily enough. (But not always the case. You can certainly had an ED without the co-disorders.) Talk to your doctor for a referral to an ED specialist. You need to surround yourself with support right now.

emmylootwo

Oh, OP. A wonderful resource is something-fishy.org This website helped me come to terms with the fact that I had an ED and not only needed but deserved help.

aokoye

I agree with everyone who has encouraged you to seek a therapist and especially with the person who said that everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist - it's true. I also think that it's great that you're introspective enough to realize that something is amiss.

While I agree with the idea of contacting your school's counseling center (if they have one), it would also be a good idea to try to find a therapist that isn't connected to your school. It isn't uncommon for colleges/universities in the US to have very low caps on how many sessions they can provide students. Good tools for searching for a therapist are Psychology Today's therapist search and Goodtherapy.org's therapist search. Yo

apullum

aokoye wrote: »

I agree with everyone who has encouraged you to seek a therapist and especially with the person who said that everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist - it's true. I also think that it's great that you're introspective enough to realize that something is amiss.

While I agree with the idea of contacting your school's counseling center (if they have one), it would also be a good idea to try to find a therapist that isn't connected to your school. It isn't uncommon for colleges/universities in the US to have very low caps on how many sessions they can provide students. Good tools for searching for a therapist are Psychology Today's therapist search and Goodtherapy.org's therapist search. Yo

This is definitely true for some schools re: caps on the number of sessions. However, the school's counseling center may be easier for OP to access (in terms of money, time, location, etc.) than an off-campus therapist. That would make it a good place to start, especially if OP is feeling hesitant about seeing a counselor. If OP needs more sessions or a different kind of support, then the counseling center may also be able to provide a referral to an off-campus specialist.

aokoye

apullum wrote: »

aokoye wrote: »

I agree with everyone who has encouraged you to seek a therapist and especially with the person who said that everyone can benefit from seeing a therapist - it's true. I also think that it's great that you're introspective enough to realize that something is amiss.

While I agree with the idea of contacting your school's counseling center (if they have one), it would also be a good idea to try to find a therapist that isn't connected to your school. It isn't uncommon for colleges/universities in the US to have very low caps on how many sessions they can provide students. Good tools for searching for a therapist are Psychology Today's therapist search and Goodtherapy.org's therapist search. Yo

This is definitely true for some schools re: caps on the number of sessions. However, the school's counseling center may be easier for OP to access (in terms of money, time, location, etc.) than an off-campus therapist. That would make it a good place to start, especially if OP is feeling hesitant about seeing a counselor. If OP needs more sessions or a different kind of support, then the counseling center may also be able to provide a referral to an off-campus specialist.

I definitely wasn't saying not to try the OP's campus health center, rather I was giving another option (and resources for finding that option). There's a yearly publication that the Center for Collegiate Mental Health publishes. The 2017 publication looked at data from 147 colleges and the average number of appointments that students went to (at campus mental health centers) was 4.5 with the average number appointments for students with "eating/body image" concerns being 7.

The only reason I know about that specific publication is because of a project I did last calendar year, but mental health issues are my non academic pet interest because of how much I have been affected by them. In my experience, a lot of college students don't realize that they potentially have the ability to see a therapist off campus. Part of it could not be not knowing how their own insurance works and just assuming therapy isn't covered. Other factors include are assuming that they won't have the time because of their class and/or work schedule, cost (that's far from limited to college students of course), language issues (I know that one quite well), and so on.

I think people don't realize that therapists work all sorts of hours. I know people who have sessions on weekends, I personally have had sessions in the evening as well as in the afternoon. There are also therapists who do sliding scale.

I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't make sense to exclude what could be a very rich option before investigating it. You never know if you don't try.