Start and stop. When will I ever finally reach my goal!?

justinejacksonm
justinejacksonm Posts: 75 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sometimes I don't think I'll ever get back where I had gotten before. My life was a series of calamities that derailed and ultimately kept me that way.

Have watched my weight creep higher and higher back towards the point I worked so hard to get away from. Amazingly, when I first started trying to lose the weight I had doubts I would succeed and I'd get bored and give up before getting there. I did it though over about 2-3 years a little at a time and got so very close to actually being in better shape than I ever thought I really could be.

I've started want stopped many times in the last 3 or so years. Loss of routine, moving in with bf and having no equipment here, not having yet established my own food shopping/eating habits incorporated into my new life with him, etc. Finally started establishing a workout routine here and broke my foot. Started again, got a new job that took up all my day and free time in the evening when I usually workout. Started finding ways to squeeze in workouts after work though getting to bed late... Then mandatory overtime started and I was home too late and too exhausted to do anything.

A few trips out of town, holidays, parties at friends and neighbors houses, rough days that turn into for going workouts to drink wine together, last minute errands and other crap after work that turned into stopping to get something to eat instead of being at home working out and eating good food, entertaining at the tiki bar all summer = lots of yummy drinks, weekends that involve getting out of bed and getting ready first thing to go out and do stuff, no time, plans, already showered and shampooed and made up and not gonna workout and need to do it all over again, skipping working out because my bf won't want to have to wait around for me while I shower and stuff after, getting or already sick and not feeling well enough to do anything, having too many errands to run on my day off, need sleep, haven't eaten yet and too hungry after work, timing doesn't work/can't work into schedule, it's too dark out to walk or run, too cold out, raining, too hot and I'll feel like I'm going to pass out 5 mins in, etc.

Something kicked my butt into gear in late summer early September and I regained my focus like I've not had since before I met my bf. I've had to regroup and learn ways around so many barriers that I was armed to do this.

Unlike ever short stint that failed, either making no progress or getting derailed before that was even possible, I started seeing results for the first time in years. My weight has crept up so much. It was already creeping up when we met and I held myself to the confidence of knowing I lost all that weight before so I can knock these few pounds off.

Last year I was back where I started. Very saddening and discouraging, especially knowing how impossible every attempt in the last few years has been to lose *anything*!

But... by early November I was going great. Little by little I detailed again. Mandatory overtime again. Not till 7pm this year, just 6 days a week. The harvest dinner at the inn happened then Halloween then Thanksgiving then Christmas. I was down to working out maybe 1-2 times a week maybe. I still looked pretty good by Christmas but by NYE last week all the last month or so of slacking hit me hard.

I started getting sick on New Year's day and though I've had lots of time off from work, all I wanted to do was sleep eat and drink. The Sun came out on Sunday. I woke up feeling great. Monday started a new week, the first full pay period of the new year, so I walked. I worked out last night. I'm not feeling great today but will workout later.

I am excited to get back where I was in November. In not so far gone that my effort has been lost. Seeing how I was able to do it and go in the right direction again is very encouraging. This is how I did it before. Would have great gains, stumble a little. I may have degressed sightly but each time was starting in a better place than where I started before. This is long term weight loss and fitness.

My frustration is how QUICKLY the results of all my hard work backslide!

How do I skip working out a few days, maybe go out to eat once, and I gain 5 lbs?

I want to hurry and lose as much as I can as fast as I can given how many opportunities can arise and derail.

Replies

  • justinejacksonm
    justinejacksonm Posts: 75 Member
    I don't really judge my weight by the number on the scale. On the contrary, what the scale shows often mismatches what I see on my body. I don't freak out anymore over a couple quick pounds because it's just water and I'll come off. But once I do that, I can't break past the plataeu.

    I'm also very adept with food prep. Portioning, balance, etc. I use a food scale that I've had for years. It taxes practice and in reality it's about learning a sustainable lifestyle. Your can't live your life weighing every almond or tomato in a salad you ate out to eat. You have to learn how to eat properly on your own, daily, and I've trained myself pretty well. Most days, when I track my food, it's pretty dang balanced, planning my menu just using acquired food prep habits.
  • basky56
    basky56 Posts: 43 Member
    Be intentional when planning to work out, the routine you mentioned is huge. As a teacher and a football coach, I used the excuse that I am at the school for 14 hours a day and the last thing I had time for was working out. That was a cop out and I was looking for the easy way out. It is easier to blame, complain, and defend ourselves when things are not going 100% the way we want. If you want it bad enough, you will go get it. I have learned that the hard way. Plus the BF of yours should be a teammate in your journey. My wife and I meal prep together, 1 to 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon. That will last us the week with prepped lunches and snacks. You got this, I promise. Change the mindset, change the person.
  • justinejacksonm
    justinejacksonm Posts: 75 Member
    I use my working out after work even if it's 40 minutes or an hour as motivation for him to not sit at the end of the day and do nothing. Since I'm busy working out, and he knows it'll derail my motivation if he's chilling with a beer cause I'll naturally want to join him in relaxing instead, he's more motivated to work on some sort of task or project.

    We usually go food shopping and do meal prep on Sundays as well, it's been more successful during off-season when we're not spending the weekend in the mountains and getting home Sunday night and doing the shopping Monday after work.

    I'm thrilled to get him on board with a lot of my eating a meal planning habits. We don't always see eye-to-eye on our shopping meal planning and eating routines. But I've opened him up to a lot of new things like grab n go turkey bacon egg cups and protein smoothies on the way to work. I learned while back eating is perhaps the most crucial part to getting in shape and for the longest time I didn't have my own eating routine established with him. we go to the store and buy make what he's used to and eat the way he's used to and it didn't work for me. Whenever I plan to incorporate any of my "designer" foods into our week, I buy those separately end prepare the foods that require special care or extra work.

    so far it's working and we're eating very well!

    Bummed that last night I strained my back it seems and this will ultimately affect my daily workout routine, so since I took off of work today I'm going to go for a really long walk and maybe do an upper body toning workout that I can do seated, instead.
  • basky56
    basky56 Posts: 43 Member
    Keep working! Be proud of the progress! Always here if you need anything.

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