Kindness, compassion and encouragement

SisterSueGetsFit

While I can start this post out by saying “please try not to be negative in the comments…” it won’t really make a difference, because that’s generally what this post is about.

I posted something a few hours ago that was intended on being encouraging to new folks. I was met with a bit of combativeness, although nothing terrible. While I never expect anyone to agree with me, I find that often times on this site people will be argumentative for no purpose other than being argumentative. (As an aside, that isn’t exactly what happened with my post, it just reminded me of reading through the threads.) I truly believe, had most people actually read the entire post and not just the heading “This is hard,” they would have understood the positivity I was trying to put behind it.

This all reminded just how hard it was to be new at the weight loss game. It’s easy to get discouraged. It’s easy to want to quit when you don’t see huge losses, much less you see gains. I’ve been GAME ON for the last 10 days and I’m up this week. Now…having been at it for 3 years (and as one commenter put it) “I should know better.” I DO know better. I DO understand how this works. BUT… Not all new people do. This could be enough for them to quit. Or binge. Or cry. A few of “you” made me cry my first week 3 years ago. Some with your kindness (I'll never forget the woman who told me "you are enough, just as you are." Lady, you changed my life), some with your superiority and cutting comments.)

We need to be nicer to new people and nicer in general. Yes, stupid questions get asked. Simply don’t answer if you can’t provide positive feedback. Don’t call someone a snowflake. Explain the best way you can why what they are doing isn’t working. Or why it didn’t work for you. Simply saying “you’re clearly eating too much. You clearly aren’t weighing your food. You’re clearly overestimating your burn.” Take your bull^&it elsewhere. Don’t have anything nice to say? Try not saying anything.

My god, life is hard enough, we don’t need strangers making it any more difficult. Try kindness, try compassion, try human decency; they’re all free and cost nothing to sprinkle around.
I’m ending with one positive thing I wish someone would/would have said to me. Feel free to add your own. (or feel free to tell me how I’m wrong).

*There are going to be days when you want to quit. Don’t.

SisterSueGetsFit

And for the love of all things holy... (not only for new peeps) Can we get rid of the confusing "WOO" button??? New folks... woo means garbage, not scientific, stupid...etc.

middlehaitch

I’m sorry the thread you posted as a positive for newcomers didn’t go over well.

I read it as a cry for help, it is too HARD to succeed, I’m back to try again, why did the scale go up, and was ready to offer you help.

It took reading your later post,explaining your intent, for me to see what you were attempting to say.

Cheers, h.

Personally I like the woo button. I’ve got a good collection of them, they encourage me to review what I said. Sometimes I’m misinformed and I would prefer to know, than not and carry on in ignorance.

HermanLily

I couldn't agree with your post more, keeps me from reaching out. So, I just do my own thing. Kind of sad, actually, but you are 100% correct.

SisterSueGetsFit

HermanLily wrote: »

I couldn't agree with your post more, keeps me from reaching out. So, I just do my own thing. Kind of sad, actually, but you are 100% correct.

I’m sorry if you’ve had any bad experiences. Feel free to send me a friend request. I’ll support you the best I can.