Doubt with daily calories for teenager girl

aortegasep

Hi all. I've been using MFP 6 months ago and getting very good results, with all that implies ( Calorie deficit, macros, excersise, hydration, etc)
So... now my teenage daugther wants to follow same steps in order to loose some weight and yesterday ask me for help.
I consider she is not overweight, but maybe 6 or 8 lb less makes her feel better and more confident ( crucial at her age).
I setup an account for her, made all initial configuration and it came with 1350 cals/day (I used 0.25lb/week loose) but I have doubts in order to cut down calorie intake at her age (14 years). From another calculator her TDEE is supposed to be about 1750 cals/day.
Please advice.

Teabythesea_

I advise you to not start her down this path this early in life. 6-8 lbs is nothing and could very easily go away on its own as she grows older. Her body is still changing and instead of trying to instill confidence in her by losing weight and counting calories, do it by helping to make her feel comfortable as she is now. There is a reason there is an age limit on this app. Instead of counting calories with her encourage her to be active, ask her about joining a sport which will help her both physically and socially. Teach her about making healthy choices but please don’t restrict her calories or make her think that losing 6-8 lbs at her age is the key to happiness.

Running2Fit

For a teen I would consult with a doctor about the best method for weight loss. Honestly, I wouldn’t have her counting calories at all.

janejellyroll

I would not use MFP's calorie goals for a teenager. It's not designed for people who are still growing.

I'd also question if a calorie deficit is the best plan for a girl who is not overweight.

apullum

You need to talk to her pediatrician about this.

cwolfman13

No...

mywayroche

Make her eat the same but move more. She must be barely overeating to be 6-8lbs up. Exercise has been shown to reduce anxiety/increase confidence

collectingblues

You need to talk to her pediatrician, and get a referral to a dietitian.

Teenage girls do put on weight when they enter puberty. It is perfectly normal -- and absolutely healthy. You'd be better off helping her understand that, and coming to grips with it, and accepting it as normal.

aortegasep

Thanks all, thats what I was thinking about. I'm sure she doesnt need to count calories or restrict them.
We have fairly healty eating habits at home and I know that she only needs to make some smart choices during the day to stay "good".
I like that she is open to listen and learn about all this things and thats also why I have some minor panic episode yesterday she ask me to use MFP.
Today I'll talk to her to explain all this and let that account inactive.

Thanks

janejellyroll

aortegasep wrote: »

Thanks all, thats what I was thinking about. I'm sure she doesnt need to count calories or restrict them.
We have fairly healty eating habits at home and I know that she only needs to make some smart choices during the day to stay "good".
I like that she is open to listen and learn about all this things and thats also why I have some minor panic episode yesterday she ask me to use MFP.
Today I'll talk to her to explain all this and let that account inactive.

Thanks

Just my two cents, be thoughtful about using terms like "good" to describe her food choices or calorie intake. People, maybe women and girls especially, are already receiving lots of social messages that our calorie intake, weight, and enjoyment of food are moral issues. But they're not and you have the choice whether or not you want to reinforce those social messages or model a different way of thinking about these choices.

collectingblues

janejellyroll wrote: »

aortegasep wrote: »

Thanks all, thats what I was thinking about. I'm sure she doesnt need to count calories or restrict them.
We have fairly healty eating habits at home and I know that she only needs to make some smart choices during the day to stay "good".
I like that she is open to listen and learn about all this things and thats also why I have some minor panic episode yesterday she ask me to use MFP.
Today I'll talk to her to explain all this and let that account inactive.

Thanks

Just my two cents, be thoughtful about using terms like "good" to describe her food choices or calorie intake. People, maybe women and girls especially, are already receiving lots of social messages that our calorie intake, weight, and enjoyment of food are moral issues. But they're not and you have the choice whether or not you want to reinforce those social messages or model a different way of thinking about these choices.

Echoing entirely. OP, you *really* need to stay away from language like this at home -- whether it's about food, or intake, or body weight. Don't add to the messaging that society gives her about how only some things and some sizes are *good*.

Instead, reinforce with her that bodies change during puberty, and that's healthy, and normal.

If she continues to be concerned, reach out to your pediatrician and let them help you.

aortegasep

Totally agree about taking care of words and terms, we always use terms as: healthy, natural, etc, etc.
Thats why I use "...." when wrote "good" and also thats why I'm concerned about this topic with her.
My objective at this time is just to make her concient about the importance of a healthy, balanced diet that includes all 3 macros and the benefits of adopting habits like excercise and self control.
I have lots of work with her for this weekend! LOL

LynnJ9

She may need those extra calories for her next growth spurt. And if she grows even 1 inch, those 6 to 8 pounds will be distributed to her taller body perfectly.

callsitlikeiseeit

So many levels of WTF are you doing, wanting to cause an eating disorder?

take your (and her) concerns to her DOCTOR and let him advise on what is healthy for her age, build, and other data points.

cmriverside

nope. not going there.

Fit4LifeAR

I can't help but wonder if it is you that wants her to lose weight and not your daughter. If my daughter had 6-8 pounds to lose, I would tell her she is beautiful and that she doesn't need to worry about this at such a young age. Not only are you tracking her calories count, you even calculated her TDEE. A 14-year-old would not know to do that or to track her calories so closely unless taught so. Please be careful, this entire post makes me feel sad for your daughter.

fitoverfortymom

Nope nope and more nope.

The MFP calorie calculator is designed for adults.

If you have a health concern for your daughter, see a doctor or a mental health professional.

kimny72

aortegasep wrote: »

Hi all. I've been using MFP 6 months ago and getting very good results, with all that implies ( Calorie deficit, macros, excersise, hydration, etc)
So... now my teenage daugther wants to follow same steps in order to loose some weight and yesterday ask me for help.
I consider she is not overweight, but maybe 6 or 8 lb less makes her feel better and more confident ( crucial at her age).
I setup an account for her, made all initial configuration and it came with 1350 cals/day (I used 0.25lb/week loose) but I have doubts in order to cut down calorie intake at her age (14 years). From another calculator her TDEE is supposed to be about 1750 cals/day.
Please advice.

A couple of things.
First of all, if your daughter needs to lose 6 lbs to feel more confident, the problem to fix is not the 6 lbs, it's that she is already judging her worth by a few lbs.
Second, you can't use a standard TDEE calculator for a teen girl. Young people who still may grow or develop have different calorie needs.
Third, as others have mentioned, as preteens develop, they go through periods of gaining weight and changing shape. A teen can go from scrawny to filled out, or from chubby to slim in literally a matter of months. Messing with that can have negative consequences.

If these feelings are truly coming from your daughter, it's important for you to assure her that a few lbs does not have the power to define her or make her more or less capable or worthy, and to explain to her the physical changes that are most likely still to come.

If these feelings are actually yours, you need to stop projecting that kind of subconscious judging and negativity on your daughter. I apologize if this doesn't apply to you, but we do get a number of parents who are micromanaging their child's weight, and many of us have had to recover from the self-judgement and body shame we learned from our own parents (sometimes on purpose, sometimes w/o even realizing it) back in the day.

aortegasep

I think this post was totally miss understood by many and I even feel insulted by some aggresive answers, but that's another topic...

For those who feel "sad" don't be, you have nothing to be concerned about. She is a very happy, loved, supported and healthy girl. I was just trying to get (from you) tools and arguments to deal with this situation that came to me last night and catch by surprise, but now I see it was a mistake.

Thanks for those who give me objective and constructive advise and didn't overreact.

Please feel free to close or erase this post.

lucadeangiles

As a teenager who counts calories, please don’t encourage her counting calories. It becomes so obsessive and as she becomes an older teenager, it can easily lead to problematic behaviors. I wish I had never started. Try eating more high volume low calorie foods, lots of fruits and vegetables! Cut back on fast foods, pre packaged foods, and processed snacks. If she has extra weight to lose, this will slowly and safely get rid of it.

M0n1KCR

May you be putting too much emphasis on your weight loss, so that she has picked up on it, and that's why she wants to lose some pounds? I teach teens, and have noticed that some of them, specially girls, want to go on a diet when their mum is losing weight. Mum feels beautiful, everyone congratulates her about her new appearance, and she is (understandably) over the moon. The young girl gets the message that "to be liked, you need to be thin(ner)". That's why it's so important to help her understand about the changes in her body, and make her understand that she is so much more than her weight. If she insists to lose weight, ask her doctor for advice, or just get her to move more, but don't start her on counting calories while she is so young (and a healthy weight). Teens tend to obsess over things, especially about their image, and this could easily lead to an eating disorder.
Good luck. Please, don't feel judged or criticised, this is not my intention. It's just than ED in teens is really worrying and dangerous, and immature kids counting calories seems like an easy way to get one... they simply eat less and less calories once they know how to do it (very usually without the parents' knowledge).