I don't want to give up again

lovelylaura78

I have a goal to lose 100 pounds to reach my goal weight, and I am feeling overwhelmed at the daunting task before me. I have tried many times to lose weight, and each time I make a little progress, falter, then ultimately give up. I’ve been so overweight for so long, that I have resigned myself to hating the way I look, the way I feel, and often who I have let myself become. I don’t recognize who I am anymore. I want to be the woman who loved camping, hiking, swimming, hosting cook-outs, getting dressed up to go out with the girls, and traveling. All of those things are nearly impossible for me to enjoy these days. I’d like to look better in my clothes feel comfortable enough to wear a swimsuit in public, and maybe even confident enough to put myself out there in hopes of meeting someone special, but mostly I just want to be me again. Any encouragement, advice, or words of wisdom would be appreciated. I don’t want to give up again.

88olds

Its doable. I can tell you for a fact. I was 285 lbs at the top. That little pic is me on a paddle board about 2 years ago at around 178 lbs. 169 this morning.

You don’t have to concern yourself with losing 100 lbs. Just work with what’s in front of you. Calculate a modest calorie deficit, plan a menu, track your intake and try to hit your number. Set up a system of weekly weigh ins where you control as many conditions as you can. Same day, same time, same scale, same clothes. Try to record a loss for the week. If you do all those things, do it again next week. And then again and again. Pretty soon the way you are living will get to be a bunch of habits.
Give yourself plenty of time with the calorie counting learning curve.

If your trouble is quitting when you stumble consider this, it helped me for some reason- unlike we may have been told when we were kids, Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb. A number of people made light bulbs before Edison. What he did was make a light bulb that people would buy. It burned bright enough, and long enough, and could be made for a price that made it worth buying. Edison tried 100s of times to get it right. That’s a fact. If what he tried today wasn’t the answer, he tried something different tomorrow. He kept doing that until he made it.

Also, I read this in a diet book- it doesn’t matter what happened last time, the past does not control the future.

Please believe me, there’s no magic answer to losing 100lbs, it only takes persistence. In the end, I spent about as much time losing as I did gaining. Add me if you want. PM me if you think there’s anything I can tell you that might help. We only get one life. If you don’t like how yours is going you have to change it. No one else can. But you can. Really.

besmith11

I also had 120 pounds to lose. I am 42 away from my goal. What I can say that helped me was to set mini-goals. Not even about the scale sometimes.

Sometimes it was a "I want to beat this hill so I don't feel like I am dying when I walk to work anymore" or even a t-shirt or a pair of pants I wanted to wear was a goal.

If I did set a mini goal for a scale victory, it was 5-10 pounds and then a non-food reward like a pedicure, manicure, or even a new shirt.

Take progress pictures so you can actually see the changes. Take measurements and track them.

cmriverside

Great words of wisdom above.

Take it one day at a time. Keep track of how much you're eating. Make small changes. Like maybe this week, give up drinking soda, or limit it to one every other day, something like that. Next week, start cutting back on something else. You don't have to give up favorite foods, but figure out a way to have it sometimes, not daily.

Then, start walking. Even if it's just for five minutes after each meal. Next week, make it six.

Like that. One step, one meal at a time.

emmamcgarity

You have been given great advice. The only thing I have to add is that fantastic list of reasons you wrote about why you want to lose weight? Write those down somewhere you’ll see them. Put them in a journal. Put them on sticky notes everywhere to remind you. And remember that you matter. You are worth the effort.

And don’t wait to lose all the weight to do all those things. Start walking now and work your way up to that hike you want to take. Buy yourself a cute new shirt when you reach a mini goal. Invite friends over to taste the new lower calorie recipes you find. You matter now.

You’re going to stumble along the path. We all do. Dust yourself off and look back at your journal if why then keep going.

lovelylaura78

Thank you to all of you who responded. I appreciate every word of encouragement, advice, and wisdom. I'm making a conscious effort to take it one day at a time and focus on making small goals for myself. I feel blessed by the fact that you each took time to reach out to help a stranger who needed some help. I am truly grateful, and hope that I can one day return the favor!

concordancia

I am keeping my focus on building new habits and losing five pounds at a time. As of this moment, I could not tell you how much I still have to go, unless you car to know that I am 2 pounds away from my next five pound marker.

try2again

Maybe you will enjoy this post... don't focus on the goal, focus on the process

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10662287/the-goal-is-the-process/p1

girlwithcurls2

I too, had resigned myself to being fat forever. I truly believed that my body was "stuck" or "just wanted to be at that weight" or whatever other baloney I was using as excuses. A couple of things helped me to change:
- I decided to not give myself a timeline. Log what I ate, try to make good choices that fit my calories for the day, but allowed for things I loved.
- Find something active that I enjoyed. For me, this was running. I finally learned that running fast isn't what makes you a runner. So I ran slowly. (Then I got hurt and switched to water aerobics, which lead to learning to swim laps, and now I do all three + lift weights.)
- LOG EVERYTHING. Be honest. I was only lying to myself. Log it and move on. Keep trying for good decisions. If you can make a good decision, then make another good one. Pretty soon, you're building habits. New, good habits.

This was over 5 years ago. I get on the scale every now and then, but really, it's my clothes that don't lie. I love feeling strong and active. I love being able to swim a mile easily, or sign up for a 10K with my sister just because we want to.

You can do this. Start small. There's no finish line other than death. How do you want to be living until then? Just keep trying for better decisions and forgive yourself for the ones that weren't. You are no less worthy of a happy and healthy you than anybody else You can do it. If you forget, come back here, and people will remind you.

Cahgetsfit

very sound advice above and what I really really like is "set a MODEST deficit". The harder you go the easier it is to give up because of getting sooooo hungry. Been there done that!

And also make sure that as you lose weight you adjust your calories because the less you weigh the less caloric intake you will need. Gradual reductions though. Don't go from eating 3000 cals per day to 1200!!!

I suppose the idea is more like something along the lines of go from 3000 to 2700 to 2500 and so on until you get to a decent maintenance level (which most likely more often than not will be over 1200 unless you are really really short and old.

3000 is just a random number that I can consume in one day without batting an eyelash btw, not saying you eat 3000 a day.

elisa123gal

time is going to pass not matter what. why not make your goal to be a bit lighter each day.. an ounce..two ounces... time passes..and before you know it.. you'll be smaller. This is what I did. I also took a "before" picture in my underwear and looked at it a few times a day. It kept me on track.. kept me from lying to myself. also.. spend a few minutes a day learning about whole foods..nutrition, exercise and how to make tasty healthy recipes that make eating right easier. Then, in time... true change happens as you bring it all together. best of luck to you.

lovelylaura78

Wow! I am blown away by the support and advice from all of you. I am learning that for me, especially this early in the game, my goal should just be to log in every day, track honestly, and to focus on the process not the number on the scale. I am truly grateful for everyone who has responded. It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this and that I can learn from others who have already learned to manage those struggles.

kami3006

lovelylaura78 wrote: »

Wow! I am blown away by the support and advice from all of you. I am learning that for me, especially this early in the game, my goal should just be to log in every day, track honestly, and to focus on the process not the number on the scale. I am truly grateful for everyone who has responded. It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this and that I can learn from others who have already learned to manage those struggles.

^ The bolded is the foundation of success. Get the process down and make it into sustainable habits.