Said I was serious last time, and the time before that. Need help actually *staying* serious.

Nostalginaut

(Male, 34, 5'11", 210lbs.)

In my early adulthood, I had some success losing a lot of weight I had gained as a teenager. Through about middle school, I was very athletic, and by high school, I had quit all team sports (I still mountain/BMX biked for fun, though never really at a level I'd have considered much of "a workout"). I ballooned up to about 230lbs by the time I was 18. When I was about 20, I resolved to finally lose some weight by exercising more and improving my diet.

It came easy. I ate a lot of fruits and veggies, I biked tougher trails, did some lifting here and there, and ran (a lot - twice a day, for a while). A short time after my 21st birthday, I was at my lowest weight: about 155lbs and tackling footraces, bike races, dancing, and rock climbing whenever I could. I kept it off, too, until shortly before graduating from college.

I sustained a traumatic brain injury in a car accident then (about 10 years ago), which affected my health in a lot of ways. For almost six months, I would need to sleep up to sixteen hours a day, even with medicine to aid my wakefulness and alertness. I didn't find my center of balance for who knows how long, so I stopped dancing and climbing. I lost even more weight, initially, and my fatigue kept me from doing much running at all, or biking for longer than maybe thirty minutes or so at a time. I even had to train myself to read more than a couple of sentences at a time anymore, due to attention issues. I became depressed, I drank (I hadn't much before), I stress- and over-ate, and I gained a lot of weight back. I think I was back up around 225lbs at age 25.

Over the past decade, I've tried here and there to lose weight through diet and exercise, but have only ever met with short-lived success, if any. And obviously as I get older, it gets harder. I've been back down to 188lbs at the lowest (in 2014) since about 2007 (~155lbs), and have fluctuated between that and my current ~210lbs ever since.

I don't get terribly discouraged if I weigh myself one week and have gained a couple of pounds back, or "only" lost a little, but it's disheartening when it happens for months at a time. Combined with the amount of hours I work as a teacher (and resulting lack of sleep), I find myself often "too tired" to wake up early enough to do morning workouts, and even-more-often DEFINITELY too tired by the time I come home. Last year, there was a good 4-month span where I could probably count on my hands how many times I made an effort to work out, so last week, when I decided to give this another go, I weighed in at 211lbs and started as best I could.

I received lots of neat cooking stuff for Christmas (namely a wok and an instant pot) and bought the Paprika app/service, which is great for saving recipes and fairly-easily pasting them in to MyFitnessPal to accurately calculate calories for the meals I plan. Problem is, many of the meals I've found are good, but seldom satisfying enough to keep me full for ~4-6 hours and outright prevent me from stress-eating (I keep almonds in my desk, for example, and uhh...). Chewing gum and drinking lots of water helps (I just ordered myself a Hidrate Spark 2.0 smart bottle to help monitor), but at school this presents another "problem" when teaching 2-hour classes.

I also still bike a lot. It's easy enough for me to set up by indoor smart trainer with Zwift and to bike for 30-60mins before work on days when I'm not too tired (still pretty frequent), and I'm currently aiming to train for a 100-mile race in late August of this year. During the summer (and some weekends), I find time to go outside and bike, which I can do for even longer (indoor, stationary exercise is pretty boring to me).

I lost about 2 pounds over the course of this week or so (which doesn't mean much because I just started and have seen myself fluctuate by more than twice that throughout even the course of a day). I attribute that to having a fairly low-stress week at work, counting calories (I have my daily set to 1450 and have been over maybe once so far), and exercising every other day. I'm hoping to get back into a routine involving daily exercise (at least, daily biking) in the near future, but I'm afraid that making this sort of "resolution" may end the way it has so many times over the years - stress and work exhaust me, I cut corners, then cut myself off from it and lose my progress.

My girlfriend and I tried this last year, and did pretty well for a few months, but we fell off and didn't really pick things back up. We figured motivating each other would help out, but it didn't. As much as I remind myself that I'd love to fit into my nice clothes again, and that exercise will help me to sleep (and, well, just generally FEEL) better, and that being in better shape will help me get back in to doing the things I used to love like tougher bike trails and rock climbing, it does little to get me out of bed earlier or give me a second wind after a day of work.

What are some tips that the community might have for helping ourselves get - and stay - motivated?

t2leary

I'm no expert, and I am much older (like I have kids older than you) and have been a yo-yo my entire life. But I think the key to all of this is portion control more than what you eat. You have to log it (set reminders) and you have to approach it not as a punishment or penance but as a choice. You see people who eat well as a matter of course without giving it a thought, so if you want to truly change, you have to become that person. Each day, make a choice when you wake up to be the person....not who you WANT TO BECOME, but as who you are. And training, I believe, is the lesser part of the journey. I attended a cross-fit type class for a year and painted on every wall at wall height was "YOU CAN'T OUTTRAIN A BAD DIET." It's so true. Set your calorie/carb/fat limits for whatever you need to do, and then stick it out. Challenge yourself to be below that limit. Make friends here who will nudge you and/or validate you. Check in every day. Weigh in as soon as you get up and record it. Every day. You know it fluctuates, but it also makes you get on the app to do it. And log your meal before it crosses your lips so you can adjust the portions to keep under your limits. MEASURE don't estimate portions.

I quit on myself when I broke my foot over a year and a half ago. I wallowed with food when I was immobile and then it continued when I was in PT and rewarding myself for enduring the pain. Some reward. I packed on 80 pounds in a year and half and never logged in. Now I'm taking back control because the person in my head and heart is not the person in the mirror.

Good luck! Add me as a friend and I'll keep an eye on ya, and I hope you'll do the same for me!

t2leary

I just re-read this. Another suggestion, since you do use your bike, which gives you extra calories to consume, is to set your calorie limit lower--like 1200 or 1300--and stay under it, unless you work out and earn some extra food. It's a motivator, too, instead of starting at 1450 and earning extra from there. Earn it, THEN eat it.

emmamcgarity

Adult male minimum calories is 1500 plus exercise calories. Don’t skimp on what your body needs.

As for sticking with it, we will all have days where we stumble and eat more than we had planned. Getting off track is part of the process. I find that if I try to get back on track at the next meal time instead of waiting for the next day I do better overall. The old me would have eaten every bit of junk food in the house then minute I got off plan. But I am finding that logging the off meal or binge as honestly as I can remember helps me get control back. Let’s say I went way over my calories at lunch time. Instead of waiting until the next day to “start over” I find it helpful to eat a healthy dinner as originally planned, log it (even if over calories) and move on.

gtimmons8716

What has worked for me has been listening to people who are the experts. Dr.Annett Bosworth has a YouTube channel that goes by Dr. Box she's a really doctor of internal medicine. She has many videos to help. Check her video list on her channel. I know there is several that you'll find interesting. If you're serious you can do this. Hell, I'm 70 following her advice I've lost 31lbs now at 199. My goal is 155 and I don't do squat for exercise except a bit of walking. Good luck.

kimny72

Most people who keep having to start over are trying to do too much all at once.

Start out by just logging the foods you like to eat. Make logging accurately and consistently a habit and start to learn from your log. What foods fill you uo? Where do you waste calories? Then set your goal to lose 1 lb per week. Keep logging accurately and consistently. Eat ALL your calories. Change one bad habit, one waste of calories at a time. Workout reasonably, don't push yourself until you're dying, take rest days.

Don't look at this as a diet you need to get thru to lose weight and then get back to real life. Look at this is as a process where you will slowly but surely find a way of eating and level of exercise that is realistic and enjoyable at the right calorie level to keep you at a healthy weight for the rest of your life. Good luck!

theUndauntedMom

I was reading the responses and I just wanted to add... don't be too hard on yourself. Accept that you will fall off the wagon and then accept that you have to force yourself to get back on it. For me, it is a weekly battle. I do really great M-F then stumble Sat and Sun. It isn't optimal, I would lose weight faster if I was consistent all week but even with the weekends, I lose about 1/2 lb a week. Annoyingly slow but steady.

JeromeBarry1

Just get into a habit of paying attention to weigh yourself on a schedule you choose, and log your food accurately. The rest of it is pretty much a slam dunk. By that I mean the industrial dictum, "What you can measure, you can control".

88olds

Seems like your calories are set awfully low. Maybe reconsider your approach.

When I wanted to lose from 175lbs to under 170 for the sake of my feet, counting myself as sedentary, MFP set me 1700 calories to lose .5lbs per week. I’m also 5’11”

Not an expert on this part, but since you are looking for fitness, you need to consider muscle loss. Because if you don’t get enough calories and enough protein in particular, that’s where your weight loss will come from. Slow down. You can get there, stay there and be happier with the overall program and results.

holly_roman

Staying serious is super hard. Everyone offers advise on your weight loss but no one specifically tells you how to keep that mindset. You have to find what works for you. Some ppl need an accountability partner, some need a partner who is more in control and will make us do it, others need to be in control and that is what makes us keep going. Really figure out why you stepped off before and avoid that situation again. Only you can figure this out and motivate you. I am sorry to here about your trauma and I wish you all the best. Good luck!

Nostalginaut

So far with my 1400 daily calories this year, I haven't had issues with feeling exhausted, but like I said - it's been pretty low-stress so far. Once testing season starts and I get ready to move to a new house in the near future, I expect the stress-eating to resume, but I'm hoping to find tips to offset that.

Yesterday, I woke up at 5am, rode a few miles, ran a couple, and lifted; had an "average" day at work, then volunteered through the evening. I ate well under my calories, and according to MFP, had a 2000+ defecit. While probably not sustainable on the daily, based on how I both performed and felt, I'd think I can do something like that once or even twice a week.

kimny72

TinManJoe wrote: »

So far with my 1400 daily calories this year, I haven't had issues with feeling exhausted, but like I said - it's been pretty low-stress so far. Once testing season starts and I get ready to move to a new house in the near future, I expect the stress-eating to resume, but I'm hoping to find tips to offset that.

Yesterday, I woke up at 5am, rode a few miles, ran a couple, and lifted; had an "average" day at work, then volunteered through the evening. I ate well under my calories, and according to MFP, had a 2000+ defecit. While probably not sustainable on the daily, based on how I both performed and felt, I'd think I can do something like that once or even twice a week.

I would suggest that pushing yourself like that and carrying huge deficits might be why you have a tough time "staying motivated" and maintaining weight you do lose. 1400 calories is not enough calories for a full grown man. The consequences of overly aggressive deficits can take time to build up, and once the damage is done it's done. Perhaps finding a more moderate, sustainable approach that doesn't require constant motivation and tips on how to offset the damage will have a better chance of getting you where you want to be?

I spent my 30's chasing plans that required constant motivation and a low stress life to have any chance to sustain. It wasn't until I took my foot off the accelerator and focused on figuring out how to eat and exercise for the rest of my life, comfortably and easily, that I lost the weight and kept it off. Please take care of yourself, and best of luck!

CharlieCharlie007

I can help you young grasshoppers out if you want. I am all about the mission.

CharlieCharlie007

My advise. go see a reputable dietitian. One who has their degree and is a member of the association. Make sure they have a sports specialty. Do what they tell you.