Dealing with family.

slesommer

Okay....so. I love my family I do and I always feel bad about saying this like this about them but I'm facing having to live with my mother for a month while I'm moving between cities and universities and when it comes to diets and food we just....are on totally different pages.

My mother used to be a model. She has a very twisted version of what normal weight is. I used to be 9 stone, which for my height 5'10'' was just below the healthy weight rage. I didn't look healthy at that weight. I looked sick...and yet she would tell me how proud she was of me being skinny and how pretty I was.

Fast forward 3 years I've gained 7 stone while being away at university and living on my own. My mother is unbearable. Every time I got home she constantly pokes at my weight. Every meal. Every time I'm in the kitchen. She says things like "if you stopped eating you'd loose weight" or "why don't you just not eat anything, you only need water to live on at your size" and it's constant and I end up hiding food in my room and binging. She has this fixation that only skinny people can be successful, though she conveniently forgets the fact I just won a full PhD scholarship and I'm off to gradschool next month. She doesn't understand the concept of you have to be savy about it, I have logged 40 days in a row, lost 7 pounds. This is working. What I'm terrified of is going back and just getting so ground down and upset that I crash and burn and over eat and it all goes to hell again and I loose the month and a half of progress I've made.

Has anyone had experience dealing with family members like this, how did you cope with it? I'm just...terrified I'm going to go back home and then when I leave again I have to start all over again.

skinnymalinkyscot

Could you tell her you are under Doctor or Nurses orders? say youve been to your local health centre and been weighed etc and that they are monitoring your height/ weight /calorie intake etc and that its all closely supervised .If she asks why just say you went along for something minor and that the nurse got talking to you about weight loss. A lot of parents, indeed anybody would back off if they thought it was being medically supervised and if your mother is the insensitive kind she wont be able to get into any kind of dispute with you if you turn around and say its doctors orders and youre just following their advice. I appreciate this isnt standing up for yourself, its just an easier less confrontational way to get nosy people to shut up when you dont want to have to justify or explain yourself. Sometimes being honest with certain people we are emotionally involved with doesnt work as they keep probing anyway. Good luck

Coyoteldy

Parents are often our worst critics ( besides ourselves)... and congrats on a full scholarship for grad school.. I would LOVE to get my PHD but can't afford it .. need to pay off my other loans LOL... hang in there .. its only a month.. rather than binging get out for a walk instead.. do something that is good for you because you deserve it.... I get a bit of hassle now and then even though I am within ten pounds of my goal weight ( finally)...I smile politely and move away....of course you can always just sit Mom down and TELL her to back off a bit ( nicely of course).... people often talk to us that way because we allow it.. might be time to impress upon Mom that you have this well in hand...