anyone have to deal with de motivaters

azzeazsaleh5429
azzeazsaleh5429 Posts: 77 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just curious, I have a family member who tells me to be realistic when I tell her how my target weight. She never was right in the past but just curious do you face same objections?

Replies

  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    Well, unless she is a trained medical professional or has some special insight, she isn't basing that on anything but her own sensibilities. She also could say you are, in fact, three squirrels in a trenchcoat or an Egyptian princess...that doesn't make her right.

    I had my goal based on what's mid-range for my a BMI of a woman my height. Something that was based in science. My go-to response: "My doctor thought this was a good goal for me."
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Is she in violation of your personal boundaries? Treat it as a boundary issue rather than a challenge to your will.
  • RunsWithBees
    RunsWithBees Posts: 1,508 Member
    Have fun proving her wrong ;)
  • azzeazsaleh5429
    azzeazsaleh5429 Posts: 77 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    I just don't talk about it outside of here and with my doctor.

    Lesson learned, i think ill follow your advice
  • LakeCountyDiver
    LakeCountyDiver Posts: 50 Member
    My biggest one was alcohol. Got rid of her and now it's peaceful.

    Anybody that is not supportive of someone else trying to better themselves has some serious self worth issues or is perhaps just so self absorbed it's crippling them.

    Tune that crap out and stay the course.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    azzeazsaleh5429 wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    I just don't talk about it outside of here and with my doctor.

    Lesson learned, i think ill follow your advice

    It can be difficult, when you're excited and motivated and want the people you're close to to share your enthusiasm. Hopefully in time and as they see your results they will become at least a neutral factor, if not fully supportive.
  • Running2Fit
    Running2Fit Posts: 702 Member
    I don’t think my mom is trying to be demotivating but she has made comments that my goal weight is to low and I should up it by 10-15 lbs (I wouldn’t even be in a normal BMI) otherwise I won’t be able to maintain it. And she’s pushing for grandkids and keeps saying I don’t need to lose all the weight before getting pregnant. But, for me, yes I absolutely do need to lose all the weight and be healthy before getting pregnant. My weight also isn’t the only reason we are waiting, anyway. We aren’t planning on trying until a year after I’ve estimated I will hit my goal.

    I think her comments are meant to be supportive so I just ignore them. I also rarely choose to discuss or mention my weight loss to her.
  • whencynstops
    whencynstops Posts: 109 Member
    I let those kinds of folks get to me in the past and I learned a hard lesson. The comments were always side comments like 'you are not planning on losing any more weight are you, people will think you got sick?' (while still being 50 lbs from my goal. Or the friend trying to be nice and buying me products for my loose skin, which I don't have, and just how fat does she think I am? Or telling me I look like a hobo because my clothes are loose.
    I know those are not too horrible but when it is constant and never ends they all add up. I let them get to me in the past and finally, I decided to start calling them out on it. Making comments like "or is that on your diet?" with that snarky tone. No, it isn't a 'diet', I changed how I eat and it will be like this from now on. No fad diet, just eating healthy and counting calories. I stopped making dinner plans with her and said from now on we can do other things together but not eat together.
    I could go on and on... Like I said they are all these tiny comments which alone wouldn't hurt but when it never ends it really gets to me.

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