What changes after a huge weight loss?

UmaMageswarymfp

I have multiple questions on this because I visualize the most perfect body after a 60kg weight loss . Some of the quest are :

Do bullies treats you differently?
Do your family members start treating you nicely ?
How does it feel like to achieve something you dreamt off ?
What should I not expect?
And you’re open to give me any advice in general 💜

quiksylver296

Check out this thread. Tons of info like you are looking for.

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10087100/what-nobody-tells-you-about-losing-weight/p1

concordancia

For most people, little changes in terms of what you are speaking of. Strangers might treat you differently, but generally bullies are bullies and family dynamics are not easily changed.

Your health will improve if you are eating properly, you can be more active with less excess, you may gain more confidence to cut toxic people out of your life, but many people find that once they take away the comfort food (and few to no people get obese without using food for comfort in some way) their mental issues become more prevalent until they find new coping strategies.

Fflpnari

Everyone treated me differently, not in a good way. People never made comments about me being overweight to my face. When I got to my goal everyone made comments. It really got to me. I gained some back and felt better because the comments stopped. Its not a magic fix. You will still be you. There will still be things about your body you are not happy with.
Remember you are doing this for you and not anyone else. You want to be healthier.
Im trying to do keep myself healthier in secret. Even though Im not on a "diet" I don't want people to know I'm tracking everything

peppermintcaroline

I kind of love and hate the changes. Everyone congratulates me or even says I've lost too much. I wish no one commented because it makes me self conscious (I still feel "chubby").

elisa123gal

Lose weight to be healthy..to make the gift of your body the best you can so you can move through you life with joy and ease. Losing weight isn't going solve family problems or change a bully in your life..a bully who most likely is a transient person anyway. No stays around. bully forever.

don't set yourself up for disappointment by thinking losing weight will fix problems and give you an ideal dream body.. do it for yourself and for the right reasons.

IsETHome

Try to work with a counselor during your weight loss journey, and share your thoughts. I think there are some coping mechanism s/he can teach during your journey. Losing weight will help you feel better, but you will probably still have to deal with some idiot bullies and yes even idiot family members. However, as life changes, even some bullies can fade away. Eventually you will have a choice to live near or far from relatives.

cheryldumais

Interesting question. I went back to a letter I wrote to myself about what I wanted to accomplish by losing weight and I can honestly say that most of it was fulfilled. What doesn't change is who you are. Yes, I have bit more confidence but I am still basically the same person. I feel like I get a bit more respect at work than I got before. In the world at large I wonder if I present myself more strongly thus receiving more respect or if it is because of my weight. Either way I think it's better. My body is not all I had hoped for. I'm 62 years old and had abused my body by carrying around an extra 100 pounds most of my life so that isn't perfect but in clothes I look so much better. I had a tummy tuck done and it wasn't perfect either. Just the same it was so worth losing the weight. I am healthier and more fit and feel alot better about myself. I'm off alot of the medications I was on and my blood sugar is normal. That alone is worth it.

zeejane03

After my initial weight loss phase the things that mostly changed-a couple friends started making snarky comments and eventually the friendships ended (and these were adult women, in their 30s/40s), I had more fun shopping for clothes, got some well meaning comments about how I was too skinny now, and then the biggie-all my health markers improved and a health condition was corrected.

Besides that things were/are pretty much the same-I'm the same person I was before, I just wear different sized clothes now.

arsan

I'd imagine self-confidence changes.

zeejane03

arsan wrote: »

I'd imagine self-confidence changes.

In my personal experience-not really. If anything, right after I hit my goal weight I became very self-conscious about how I looked. Now that I'm a few years along I've gotten over that, but really the whole thing has been pretty anti-climatic.

garystrickland357

I a 57 year old male. I lost from 265 pounds down to 186 pounds. The only really interesting thing I've noticed is how retail store employees treat me. When I has heavy I was "invisible" to them - I'd have to search them out to ask for help. Now, I notice they came ask me if I need their assistance. It's been suggested the change is due to my outward body language, but I don't think so. I'm a happy person in general - at any weight. I think it is more a correlation with my size. Who knows? Other than that, everything stayed the same except for my weight and ability to be more active.

hroderick

I feel better both physically and mentally. I'm able to do things I was unable to do before. My older relations have a mix of joy, admiration, and jealousy in varying proportions. My new relations don't have the fat discrimination aspect. My wife likes being able to reach all the way around me and other things. My dog doesn't care.

seltzermint555

Everyone's experience is different.

I wouldn't expect any area of life to magically be better/perfect after weight loss. I expected some people (extended family) to like or respect me more when I reached a healthy weight. They don't.

I feel like I am treated pretty much the same by people in general whether I am in size 10 or 26. There are some differences but not as drastic as I once imagined. I have noticed that new women I meet are more likely to ask me to hang out and come to events and such. I notice that I am complimented by different guys than before, which isn't important since I am happily married but it's interesting.

I'm still a nerdy lady after losing all this weight. I am never going to be that hot sex kitten type nor do I care to be. I have noticed that some people I've known who lost weight in large amounts really transformed their whole look, like they were frumpy and miserable in sweats 24/7, and came out like va va voom with short skirts and crop tops and tons of makeup. I'm not complaining about this at all and I do like fashion/clothes and enjoy it...but I'm still basically the same. I just wear smaller clothes and different styles. I didn't go from frump to hottie. I went from "you look like a plus-size Tina Fey" to "you look like Tina Fey". And that's ok with me. But I have noticed the frump-to-hot chicks get the most attention and people clamoring for their tips.

Mostly, I like that I no longer feel self conscious about dancing around acting silly or at concerts, and sitting with my back to people or being in candid photos. I like knowing any carnival ride or stepladder or medical test is going to feel like it's designed for a person of my size, instead of worrying about if I will fit or be over the weight limit. That stuff is worth more to me than I ever would have imagined. For most of my life, I was extremely concerned with how my body looked to other people at different angles and positions and it seriously took a toll. I have generalized anxiety disorder and of course I still worry, just about different things than before...but it's nice not feeling like I need to apologize for my body.

One more note...I'm sorry this is super long...but I think to expect a perfect body with no flaws is the #1 reason people are dissatisfied when they lose weight. I'm not saying you shouldn't aim for ideal, but I think in general people are more content if their expectations are a bit lower. I say this primarily because I have many friends who have longed for that "bikini body" for a long time and try all of the fad diets and don't really get anywhere. I hope this doesn't sound rude or dismissive, but I feel like for many people that is a losing battle. I had goals in the beginning like walking x miles per night and going from 3X to 2X and then on down... As I met those goals, I felt good about my achievements and wanted to keep going. If I had started with the goal of losing 140 lb, I don't think I would have achieved it!

pinuplove

Whew, these are a lot of loaded questions! Please remember, weight loss does not solve all your problems.

Do bullies treats you differently?I can't say I've ever been bullied, but I see how others treat me as more of a reflection on them than myself.

Do your family members start treating you nicely ?Again, not something I've experienced, but I'd say the above still applies to family.

How does it feel like to achieve something you dreamt off ?I wouldn't call it a dream, but achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is something I'm proud of. It's not easy; if it were, everyone would do it.

What should I not expect? Something I read here not long ago - we're led to believe we'll all be supermodels if we can just be fit and/or slim enough. That's simply not true. You're just a smaller version of you. Don't expect weight loss to leave you with the perfect body and solve all your problems. It will improve your health (and appearance, don't get me wrong, to an extent. I definitely feel more attractive and can generally tell other people think so too) but you are still you.

88olds

Do bullies treats you differently?
Yes

Do your family members start treating you nicely ?
No

How does it feel like to achieve something you dreamt off ?
As in losing 100+lbs? Surprised. Amazed.
Weight loss is liberation.

What should I not expect?
The world or your life to become wonderful.

And you’re open to give me any advice.
Embrace the process

cowleyl

Do bullies treat you different? Not unless you show a different persona. Bullies pick their victims. My daughter put on heaps of weight in an emotional response to bullies who were calling her fat.

Do you family members start treating you nicely? You can't change behaviour, you can only change your response, through which attitudes can change.

I have lost around 70 lbs, with about 30 to go. I agree with @88olds that weight loss is liberation.

What should you not expect: that it will solve all your problems, but feeling good about yourself will help you.

Advice: I made the mistake of thinking I had to be at goal weight before I felt remotely happy. However, you don't have to lose all of the weight to start feeling good about yourself. I used to beat myself up every morning about being too fat, ugly and so on. Once I established myself on my weight loss/exercise journey, those thoughts quickly dissipated and were replaced with positive thoughts about how I was improving my health and my life.

Good luck with it all.

vanityy99

UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »

I have multiple questions on this because I visualize the most perfect body after a 60kg weight loss . Some of the quest are :

Do bullies treats you differently?
Do your family members start treating you nicely ?
How does it feel like to achieve something you dreamt off ?
What should I not expect?
And you’re open to give me any advice in general 💜

I’ve never been bullied I bully bullies. As for my family, they were never treated me badly, their comments were harsh as a kid but now I’m used an example for my cousins. Grandma to cousin “ you need to lose weight look at her she did it”.... she should take her own advice. I was never crazy over weight, my starting weight was 140lbs I’m now 130lbs trying to get down to 115lbs, so it’s not really something I dreamt about I always felt beautiful just never 100 with my body. I find it easier to set mini goals, instead of looking at having to lose 15 more pounds I focus on 5lbs at a time I find it less discouraging.

Do you get bullied? If so by whom? And your family do they treat you badly and how so if you don’t mind sharing?

UmaMageswarymfp

vanityy99 wrote: »

UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »

I have multiple questions on this because I visualize the most perfect body after a 60kg weight loss . Some of the quest are :

Do bullies treats you differently?
Do your family members start treating you nicely ?
How does it feel like to achieve something you dreamt off ?
What should I not expect?
And you’re open to give me any advice in general 💜

I’ve never been bullied I bully bullies. As for my family, they were never treated me badly, their comments were harsh as a kid but now I’m used an example for my cousins. Grandma to cousin “ you need to lose weight look at her she did it”.... she should take her own advice. I was never crazy over weight, my starting weight was 140lbs I’m now 130lbs trying to get down to 115lbs, so it’s not really something I dreamt about I always felt beautiful just never 100 with my body. I find it easier to set mini goals, instead of looking at having to lose 15 more pounds I focus on 5lbs at a time I find it less discouraging.

Do you get bullied? If so by whom? And your family do they treat you badly and how so if you don’t mind sharing?

Yeah, I’ve been bullied my whole high school year , it was traumatizing and my family looks down on me because I’m fat. Everyone in my family are really skinny and pretty so when I’m the fat one even my family members subtly bully me . It’s rough