My exercise buddy is pulling me down. Help

ee2368

So I definitely love working out with a buddy, but my buddy and I are on different levels. It’s hard for me to focus on my goals because I’m having to help my buddy. I try to be helpful, because I know how much I’ve enjoyed the help from people who are more advanced than me. How do I stay focused on my own workout? Need some help here.

JessAndreia

What's the reason you're having to constantly help? With what?

Grnhouse

@ee2368 I know how you feel. I had to cut my loose. Too much negativity and I couldn’t take it. I stopped telling her when I would be going to workout or I would go to a different facility. It was hard but I decided I have to protect my peace of mind in 2019.

lorrpb

How long has this been happening? Is this a new buddy?

TavistockToad

ee2368 wrote: »

So I definitely love working out with a buddy, but my buddy and I are on different levels. It’s hard for me to focus on my goals because I’m having to help my buddy. I try to be helpful, because I know how much I’ve enjoyed the help from people who are more advanced than me. How do I stay focused on my own workout? Need some help here.

Help with what? Do they ask for help, or do you just feel you need to offer help?

RunsWithBees

My bf and I run together once or twice a week, I’m a bit more of an advanced runner than he is so I do my more challenging, endurance and/or technical runs by myself on other days and save easier/lighter workout days to run at his pace with him. Maybe you could spend a day helping your friend and consider it a lighter workout day for yourself, then do your more strenuous workouts other days on your own

CaseyJoan22

I am having the same issue but where I fall is I have a hard time staying motivated and my boyfriend and I seem to be on different schedules. When I’m ready and motivated to go to the gym he doesn’t want to and vis-versa. Being newer to the gym this makes it hard because I don’t want to go without him, he’s my comfort, but I want to go more!

ninyagwa

Have a kind conversation with your friend where you tell them what you're feeling, and ask them what they think would help you both benefit from your workout sessions. That you still want to work out together, but how can you get more out of it.

I'm not sure how helping them is making your workout less good, but maybe a different workout for you to do together, or driving separately so that you can train longer before or after your friend gets there.

I have a friend who I have occasionally worked out with, I let her know going in what I expect to do that day for my workout, and we do about half of it together. She prefers to do much less cardio than I do, and she typically lifts lighter than me as she isn't as strong, we just modify whatever we're doing depending on which of us is doing it.

Don't let it become an excuse, I'm sure you can figure something out!

quiksylver296

Mine, too. Unfortunately, he's my 14-year-old son. Can't really ditch him. :laugh:

I'm doing my best to educate him so he needs less assistance. I've also split my workouts into morning and afternoon. He only comes to afternoon sessions, so I try to knock out my more advanced stuff in the morning so I have more time for him during the afternoon workout.

We've been doing this for about 4 months, and he's needed my input less and less.

ee2368

JessAndreia wrote: »

What's the reason you're having to constantly help? With what?

It’s a family member that wants to workout at the same time.

TavistockToad

ee2368 wrote: »

JessAndreia wrote: »

What's the reason you're having to constantly help? With what?

It’s a family member that wants to workout at the same time.

And what do they need help with?

sijomial

ee2368 wrote: »

JessAndreia wrote: »

What's the reason you're having to constantly help? With what?

It’s a family member that wants to workout at the same time.

I go to the gym with my daughter sometimes to encourage and support her - I just regard it as her workout and a fun activity for me as our capabilities are very different. Can you go twice on those days like I do?

Is this "help" going to be short term or long term? If it's just passing on knowledge or advising on a routine then the hindrance to your workout should taper down quickly.

imxnianne

Just tell them you’re going to go to a certain area. If they want to come, let them. Just work out by yourself. They’ll eventually be fine and maybe they’ll try to step up!

BecomingMoreAwesome

I have a workout buddy who is much more advanced than I am. We mainly do things together that we can do at our own pace, and encourage each other by text about our separate workouts. E.g., we’re training for the same triathlon, but her goal run pace is way (way, way) faster than mine, so we don’t even try to run outside together. We occasionally run together on treadmills at the gym and virtually high five each other when we’ve each done outdoor runs. Or in the pool she keeps going while I’m resting, etc. she does have other online workout buddies who are more her level, and I’m not jealous of her time. I think everyone benefits from having someone they can motivate and someone who motivates them.

jennifer_417

Think of it as paying it forward. You had help when you needed it, now you have the opportunity to help someone else. In the future, they will be in a position to help another person.