sabotaging husband vent

elisa123gal

I've chimed in so many times when significant others wonder if their loved one is trying to derail them by brining home sweets and food they know is tempting. I usually think, yes they are,

Tonight, I'm the victim. I work hard not to drink alcohol at home and only treat myself to a drink once a week. It works for me to keep my weight under control. I'll admit..it is the hardest obstacle I face.

So.. my husband just now pops a bottle of champagne in the kitchen,, it is our absolute happy favorite drink. I just had to keep a forced smile on my face and act like it didn't bother me.... take my sparkling water with lemon and leave the room.

Cheers to him.. I hope he enjoys the entire bottle. I see a nice bubble bath with a candle in my very near future.

lorrpb

sab·o·tage
/ˈsabəˌtäZH
verb
1.deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something), especially for political or military advantage.
synonyms: wreck, deliberately damage, vandalize, destroy, obstruct, disrupt, cripple, impair, incapacitate


Maybe he was trying to be nice by bringing your mutually favorite thing rather than intentionally derail your efforts? Sounds like you have a good plan when faced with temptation!

Cahgetsfit

Ha. Every time I say "OK - now i'm going to shut my mouth again and get serious coz i'm starting to pork out a bit" mine comes home with boxes of chocolates or tubs of ice cream. every.single.time.

I don't think he's intentionally sabotaging me - coz he will actually say something when I am porking out a bit, but there must be some sort of subliminal thing going on in his head I don't know... I mean - what part of "I need to shut my mouth" equates to "oh maybe she'd like some chocolates?" - I just can't see it. He says "eat only 1" - yeah - no, i'm one of those people who do the whole box in one sitting.

elisa123gal

Nah... he was just being selfish... which does happen. (and don't give me the definition for selfish..lol).

We both are tying to get our holiday weight off. He has a lot of weight to lose and struggles.. I try to help him the best I can.

..I lost all my weight last year.. and just need to knock off the few I gained over the holidays.

elisa123gal

Cahgetsfit wrote: »

Ha. Every time I say "OK - now i'm going to shut my mouth again and get serious coz i'm starting to pork out a bit" mine comes home with boxes of chocolates or tubs of ice cream. every.single.time.

I don't think he's intentionally sabotaging me - coz he will actually say something when I am porking out a bit, but there must be some sort of subliminal thing going on in his head I don't know... I mean - what part of "I need to shut my mouth" equates to "oh maybe she'd like some chocolates?" - I just can't see it. He says "eat only 1" - yeah - no, i'm one of those people who do the whole box in one sitting.

Thank you for this... I hate when people act like we are sensitive and the person sabotaging is just being kind or doesn't really know. they know! I still love him.. I think it happens with couples and even other family members all the time.

I do agree it is subconscious ... they don't know why they do it.. but they do. it is weird.

Numer1ca

Wine is my largest obstacle. Good job walking away!

I am slowly working on it here.

alexhayg

You have far more will power than I do, I wouldn't be able to resist the bubbly. However, I think I have done well to sit and watch the other half eat an ENTIRE TRAY of cadburys chocolate fingers in front of me. It is definitely harder to eat healthier when those around you eat crisps and chocolate all day long.

Chef_Barbell

I've never considered what my hubby ate or drank any of my business or any slight towards me. He's thin and needs to eat a lot to maintain and it wouldn't be fair to get mad at the stuff he can eat.

That being said, you know your husband better than we do here and that is sad if there is truth to him being selfish in that respect. Have you had a talk with him?

cmriverside

Okay, well let's play out your premise. ( for the record, I'm much more half-full than that, but I'll play...)

So if he's doing it to sabotage, why?

To feel better about himself and his own weight issue.
To feel superior because he CAN moderately eat them.
To fatten you up for slaughter.
So you won't stray to another man...subliminal fear of abandonment.


I think all those are possibilities. Well, not the third one but I haven't had coffee yet so my snark hasn't been removed.

When I quit drinking everyone had their little jabs and most people still won't take, "No, thanks," for an answer. They almost always insist I have, "Just one, c'mon," etc.

So there's definitely some Human thing about this.

csplatt

I would just use that as motivation. I have a 7 year old and a 9 year old and we have Oreos, Little Debbies, Doritos, all kinds of stuff in the pantry. I just don't pick it up for myself. Now, I absolutely will build in room for a glass of champagne once of week!