body shaming

texascarrot820
texascarrot820 Posts: 29 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do you stay positive when some. of your family looks at you for your weight not as a person??

Replies

  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    I stay away from toxic family.
  • lin_be
    lin_be Posts: 393 Member
    Think about how sad their life must be if they have to put you down to make themselves feel better.
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
    edited January 2019
    I know it can be hard, but you have to learn to rise above it. The problem is with them, not you.

    *Edited for typo.
  • Mrsbunnyleon
    Mrsbunnyleon Posts: 31 Member
    My husband loves working out and has never had a problem with weight. He doesnt understood sugar cravings. He use to push me hard. And I'd fall off the fitness wagon, just about always.

    This year I'm making my owe fitness routine and taking my time. All we have to do, I think is just continue. Pick ourselves up and continue to our goals.

    At least this is what I'm telling myself this year.
  • texascarrot820
    texascarrot820 Posts: 29 Member
    Its not all of my family an not often do they do it but every now and then they continue to mention my weight
  • mmultanen
    mmultanen Posts: 1,029 Member
    It's not easy and it's a long road to having the presence, confidence, and mindset where you can not internalize it when confronted with body shaming. Especially from family, or close people who should and are supposed to be your biggest support system. First, remember it is never about you. Remember that what they say is about their own prejudices, misconceptions, and/or internalized pain and NOT ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.

    It's probably their intention to make you feel bad. But you don't have to feel bad. If you can, immediately remove yourself from the situation and go do something that is just for you. read a book, take a walk, make a cup of tea, pet your dog, whatever it is, do something you like, that feels good, and keeps you on the path you are on!

    There's the chance that they don't know they're body shaming you because body shaming is prevalent everywhere. If you think they might not know that what they're saying hurts, have that conversation with them.Let them know they're hurting you and how it hurts and why it hurts. If you can't though, don't beat yourself up about that. Just remove yourself from the situation and go do something positive for yourself. Also, it's totally acceptable to get angry about it.

    Make a list, write it down and keep it with you at all times focus on these three things: Why are you making changes to your health? (to feel better, to be able to do more things, to be stronger etc) What positive changes have you already seen? ( a change in inches, a change in weight, more energy, better sleep etc) Why do you want to keep going? (to prove to myself I can, to prove to the a**holes I can, I like the way I feel when I'm doing this etc) Pull that list out every time you need it! who cares if you look at it 80 times a day? It'll help you remember who you're doing this for and it's you. Not them.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    texascarrot820 wrote: »
    Its not all of my family an not often do they do it but every now and then they continue to mention my weight

    Tell them my weight is not up for discussion. Normal people respect boundaries.
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    texascarrot820 wrote: »
    Its not all of my family an not often do they do it but every now and then they continue to mention my weight

    Tell them my weight is not up for discussion. Normal people respect boundaries.

    This. Set the boundary firmly and once. If they bring it up again, firmly remind them. If they bring it up again, physically leave. They will get the message. Don't turn it into a negotiation. Don't caught up in having to justify and explain yourself. Just cut off the conversation and walk away. Also, don't talk to them about weight loss, diet, anything along those lines because it encourages them to comment.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    texascarrot820 wrote: »
    Its not all of my family an not often do they do it but every now and then they continue to mention my weight

    I'm sorry. That's terrible. But, how do you respond? State clearly and without emotion that your body is none of their concern. If they honestly care about your health and well-being they will apologize and re-state their point or shut up.
  • texascarrot820
    texascarrot820 Posts: 29 Member
    I usually try not to respond or just ignore the comment
  • besmith11
    besmith11 Posts: 106 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    texascarrot820 wrote: »
    Its not all of my family an not often do they do it but every now and then they continue to mention my weight

    Tell them my weight is not up for discussion. Normal people respect boundaries.

    Agreed. I do tell people often that I am not comfortable talking about my body with anyone but my medical team. That normally gets them to give up after 2 or 3 times. Or I might not even add that medical team part. Sometimes I say, my body is not up for discussion. I will ask how is your day going and move on quickly.
  • texascarrot820
    texascarrot820 Posts: 29 Member
    thanks for all your support and helpful ideas. I am confident that I can follow these tips
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    texascarrot820 wrote: »
    I usually try not to respond or just ignore the comment

    Sometimes that's not enough. Sometimes you have to call them on their *kitten* and make them uncomfortable.

Categories