starting over for good this time

HEllo im a newly stay at home mom and im starting over for the millionth time it feels like. Ive been big my whole life no joke and the weight is very hard to get off. :( But since having my boy 18 months ago I really want to lose the 100+ lbs and be able to be the mom for him he needs. but I just keep going off the wagon and having to restart. And this last time feels like im restarting the hardest like ive forgotten all ive learned. Idk I just want to avoid weight loss surgery but that may be my only option. feel free to add me I like new friends and seeing peoples journey