When is enough enough

I have been on my weight loss journey for almost 2 years now. I've lost about 40 lbs and gone from a 29.3 bmi to a 21.5. But now I'm starting to wonder when enough is enough.

I feel pretty good about my body. I can keep up with my kids without being crazy out of breath, I'm comfortable in my clothes, and I have gotten plenty of complements about how great I now look. I've got some extra loose skin in places, but I figure after 2 kids that's not going to magically disappear with any amount of weight loss.

But now I'm almost resentful when I pass up something yummy because I feel like I'll "get in trouble" for not continuing to lose weight. I mean, would it be so awful for me to stay where I am and not drop down to borderline underweight? But I can't shake the guilt or feeling that I NEED to keep losing weight.

Has anyone else struggled with the switch from weight loss to maintenance?

Replies

kenyonhaff

"Borderline underweight" is not a good goal, despite what pressure from society says. The truth is that reaching your weight loss goals doesn't solve all your problems, and won't turn you into a super model.

How long have you been on maintenance? It takes some time to get used to.

88olds

Sort of. I made goal and kept losing. But my goal was the top of the BMI range, 184 lbs. But I kept on losing to 168. Nowhere near underweight, but sill 16 lbs below my goal.

I had to make a point of eating more. I found in those days to be more comfortable around 178 lbs. Now I prefer under 170.

But this- are you keeping a food diary? I made goal and kept tracking for 5 years. It was the only thing that prevented my return to mindless eating. But by tracking I always knew where I was in the process.

The identity crisis- if you aren’t a person invested in losing weight, who are you? It would help to figure that out. Because once you choose to quit losing, you face the real danger- regaining a significant amount. If you draw a red line, and you should, prepare yourself to defend it. There will come a test.

I tested 184 lbs a couple of times. I always went back to tracking, it has always worked.

Keep working. Don’t kick yourself if you struggle with this. Never kick yourself just because you struggle. Maintaining is tricky business. But you have the rest of your life to figure it out. Good luck.

kimny72

Do you feel the need to be "borderline underweight" or do you feel like that is where others expect you to be? Defining where that pressure is coming from and why it's there might help.

Also, you shouldn't have to pass up something yummy on a regular basis. IMHO finding ways to fit in yummy foods is the only way maintenance works. Resenting the way you have decided you have to eat for the rest of your life doesn't sound like a workable plan. Maybe finding a compromise in there would be a good place to focus.

RelCanonical

Do you think that there's perhaps a fear of maintenance? That maintenance will feel like being off-track, or that it's slipping backwards? Sometimes just figuring out the source of the anxiety is a big step towards letting it go and meeting the goals you want to meet (in this case, maintenance). Perhaps practicing eating at maintenance one or two days a week first will help you along, and make it feel less like a big "jump" and more like a normal transition.

smolmaus

I did struggle. I also just kept losing, way past my original goal and well into underweight territory. For me it was a fear of losing control and regaining everything that prevented me really attempting maintenance and it turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, when I stopped "dieting" it was because I had started binge eating and didn't stop for maybe 5 months?

If I was to do it over again (I suppose I will soon) I would start a proper reverse-diet rather than going straight to maintenance which feels like less of a scary step. Me being afraid to stop losing was a symptom of something, if not a diagnosable eating disorder then certainly "disordered eating". Not saying this is true for you as well but something I would think about.

RelCanonical

smolmaus wrote: »

I did struggle. I also just kept losing, way past my original goal and well into underweight territory. For me it was a fear of losing control and regaining everything that prevented me really attempting maintenance and it turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, when I stopped "dieting" it was because I had started binge eating and didn't stop for maybe 5 months?

If I was to do it over again (I suppose I will soon) I would start a proper reverse-diet rather than going straight to maintenance which feels like less of a scary step. Me being afraid to stop losing was a symptom of something, if not a diagnosable eating disorder then certainly "disordered eating". Not saying this is true for you as well but something I would think about.

I did the exact same thing the first time I lost weight. Binge ate for 6 months less than a month after meeting my goal. Was definitely disordered and not just standard overeating. For me, I think there was an underlying disappointment that losing weight solved nothing, so what was the point? I didn't recognize it and probably ate to cope, as I hadn't learned how to cope otherwise regarding things like that.

elisa123gal

If you're wondering if enough is enough and you are no longer overweight. I think you've answered your own question. You've had enough.

There is no reason why you can't switch to maintenance ...or take a break from your diet routine..meaning maybe not counting calories for a few weeks. weigh. yourself and see if you can eat more freely without gaining.

Seems to me, You are ready for your next step of your journey. So kick out the crutch of a diet plan and start taking more control and give your mind a break for always thinking about what not to eat and how much to eat. It is exhausting.

dechowj

Thank you everyone. I am going to do the trial run on maintenance for a few weeks and see how that goes. I think it will just take some getting used to as I've been in the "I need to lose weight" mind frame for so long. I will keep tracking that way I still feel in control. And if my weight starts to creep up I can always switch back to weight loss down the road, right? I'm going to try and accept that I'm not a failure for not hitting my original goal weight, that I just set the goal too low to begin with. A bmi of 19 just doesn't feel like the best fit for me anymore, even if some of my friends are there.