Coming Back to MFP - AGAIN!
Transformed2019
Posts: 1 Member
This must be the tenth time I've used MFP. I want this time to be the last. Here is my story...
I've always been overweight and struggled with sweets. I just eat too much of them, regardless of how full I may feel. I graduated high school weighing 179 pounds and thought I was huge then. My 5'3" frame carried it well, but I wanted to weigh less. Yet, instead of losing weight I gained. In fact, over the course of the past 18 years I have gained 68 pounds. Now I'm bigger than I've ever been (obviously) and find myself more desperate to lose weight every day. Yet, that desperation has never carried over to actual results.
I've done MFP and WW with minimal success. In fact, I haven't been able to successfully lose more than 20 pounds before starting to gain again, and each gain added 10 more pounds when I was done. Looking back, that scares me. I'm 36 years old and I've missed out on so much because I've been sitting lazily on the couch. My son starts kindergarten this year and I keep telling myself I'm going to make the most of our free days together, but I don't. I sit on the couch because I'm so tired from eating all the junk food the night before and not fueling my body properly.
I know how to lose weight. I could write a book on it. I understand calories in and calories out. I know about empty calories, protein, sugar and carbs. I know that not all calories are equal and I know how to eat low calorie foods and be satisfied. I just don't do it.
Until now.
On Valentine's Day my husband proposed to me again. He said he felt like he didn't do it right the first time, 14 years ago. I opened my new wedding ring set and cried. Then I went to the bathroom and really cried. You see, I've gained so much weight that I can't get my current ring off my finger. No amount of butter or dawn or anything else is getting that sucker to move. I looked in the mirror and saw how large I've really become. I'm great at hiding my size and wearing clothes that make me look smaller than I really am (or at least I think they do) but when you're broken and you see the truth in front of you - reality hits hard. I started looking at pictures and I've gained way too much weight and given up far too much of my health.
In that moment I made a decision that I was done. Done with the mess I had put myself in. Done with being unhealthy and lazy. Done with being embarrassed by my size and overall health. I am not expecting a rapid and smooth transition. I know from past experience that this will be difficult and that mistakes may happen. I will do everything to avoid those mistakes, or if I want to eat something that is less than healthy for me I'll make sure that there is a calorie allotment or find a healthy alternative.
Here is my plan for the next 30 days:
- No soda (this is something I can easily give up because I don't drink that much of it anyhow)
- No buying junk food at the store (I do most of the grocery shopping and if I don't buy it, it won't be home for me to eat it)
- No fast food (I waste too much money on this as it is and need to get away from this habit)
- Log my food to see just how much I really am eating.
That's it - plain and simple. I'll make more adjustments as I go on, but for now that's my focus. One step at a time, one day at a time. I plan to lose 107 pounds by my 38th birthday - that gives me approximately two years. I'm down 8 pounds from my heaviest weight, so that's a good start. Only 99 pounds more to go!!!
I've always been overweight and struggled with sweets. I just eat too much of them, regardless of how full I may feel. I graduated high school weighing 179 pounds and thought I was huge then. My 5'3" frame carried it well, but I wanted to weigh less. Yet, instead of losing weight I gained. In fact, over the course of the past 18 years I have gained 68 pounds. Now I'm bigger than I've ever been (obviously) and find myself more desperate to lose weight every day. Yet, that desperation has never carried over to actual results.
I've done MFP and WW with minimal success. In fact, I haven't been able to successfully lose more than 20 pounds before starting to gain again, and each gain added 10 more pounds when I was done. Looking back, that scares me. I'm 36 years old and I've missed out on so much because I've been sitting lazily on the couch. My son starts kindergarten this year and I keep telling myself I'm going to make the most of our free days together, but I don't. I sit on the couch because I'm so tired from eating all the junk food the night before and not fueling my body properly.
I know how to lose weight. I could write a book on it. I understand calories in and calories out. I know about empty calories, protein, sugar and carbs. I know that not all calories are equal and I know how to eat low calorie foods and be satisfied. I just don't do it.
Until now.
On Valentine's Day my husband proposed to me again. He said he felt like he didn't do it right the first time, 14 years ago. I opened my new wedding ring set and cried. Then I went to the bathroom and really cried. You see, I've gained so much weight that I can't get my current ring off my finger. No amount of butter or dawn or anything else is getting that sucker to move. I looked in the mirror and saw how large I've really become. I'm great at hiding my size and wearing clothes that make me look smaller than I really am (or at least I think they do) but when you're broken and you see the truth in front of you - reality hits hard. I started looking at pictures and I've gained way too much weight and given up far too much of my health.
In that moment I made a decision that I was done. Done with the mess I had put myself in. Done with being unhealthy and lazy. Done with being embarrassed by my size and overall health. I am not expecting a rapid and smooth transition. I know from past experience that this will be difficult and that mistakes may happen. I will do everything to avoid those mistakes, or if I want to eat something that is less than healthy for me I'll make sure that there is a calorie allotment or find a healthy alternative.
Here is my plan for the next 30 days:
- No soda (this is something I can easily give up because I don't drink that much of it anyhow)
- No buying junk food at the store (I do most of the grocery shopping and if I don't buy it, it won't be home for me to eat it)
- No fast food (I waste too much money on this as it is and need to get away from this habit)
- Log my food to see just how much I really am eating.
That's it - plain and simple. I'll make more adjustments as I go on, but for now that's my focus. One step at a time, one day at a time. I plan to lose 107 pounds by my 38th birthday - that gives me approximately two years. I'm down 8 pounds from my heaviest weight, so that's a good start. Only 99 pounds more to go!!!
8
Replies
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You can do this! ...WE can do this...We are here for each other:) congratulations on your anniversary! Your husband is such a romantic... ❤1
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Hi Transformed. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I am also 5'3. I'm not as smart as you are though and it has taken me to age 50 to catch on. If you're looking for new friends, please add me. I am also part of a small interactive Sugar Addicts Group here if you are interested.2
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Thank you for jump starting me! I really, really needed this today. Count me in ...2 lbs at a time. BTW what an amazing husband you have.1
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See, you broke through one of your first barriers with those 8 pounds: You went from over 100 pounds to lose to under a hundred! You also gave yourself a fairly reasonable amount of time in which to lose it in, and you have the motivation to keep it up!3
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Congratulations I want to add you to my friend group so we can support each other.1
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Sounds so familiar. I reached that point on November 30, 2018. No more yo-yo's, no more quitting. If you're looking for friends who will encourage you along your journey to health, I'd love to be there for you.
Blessings,
Bonnie
Nashville TN1 -
You can do it!! It sounds like you know what it will take and what kind of journey this will be for you. Highs and lows, days of frustration and days of triumph. Keep up with it, no matter how hard it gets, and your son is going to have an amazing example to follow through life. ❤️1
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This is so what I needed to hear today!
There is a certain beauty to accepting ourselves as we are, flawed and all, but it is also a really good thing to want to be the best version of ourselves.
I'm with you on this journey. One step at a time. I'm going to keep trying my best to improve, but I'm not going to get down on myself when i don't do it perfectly. I'm just going to keep making the next right decision about my health.
I could use some friends along the way.1
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