What counts as disordered eating??

amanda_deanda01

I’m going to vent real quick and just get all the thoughts and stuff out of my head. Continue reading if you want, leave some thoughts if you feel like it...please be nice.

Okay so...quick background, chubby child, was nicknamed Gordita (chubby in Spanish), gained a lot of weight my senior year of high school. Graduated...started college...lost 32 lbs. went from 5’0 152-130....fast forward to now...I weigh about 120-125. Here’s where the rambling comes....I eat low calorie during the week normally 900-1100...I’m scared to eat anything high calorie like a cookie or anything “unhealthy” I exercise 4-5 times a week. On the weekend I don’t count calories and eat unhleathy....I don’t binge but my day is just eating whatever I feel like...but still in normal amounts and I don’t stuff myself....the Monday comes around and I’m back to low calorie. Is this normal? I love food and unhealthy food sue me....But I’m also terrified of becoming chubby again. I’m at my lowest weight so I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong...but I refuse to eat “unhealthy” during the week. When I wake up in the morning I feel my ribs and hip bones to make sure I still can. Sometimes when my boyfriend (who is not at all overweight and eats whatever he wants and doesn’t even think about food in the way I do) says things like “they asked if we want dessert?!? Um look who you’re talking to of course we do!” I know he’s joking and he’s just being silly but it messes with my head and makes me think “am I fat? Do I look like my old chubby self” I can feel my ribs and see my collarbones but I still get insecure and feel the need to drop my calories...I feel like there’s nothing wrong but I guess I just want reassurance on that

MikePTY

I think if you have to ask the question, there's usually a pretty good chance that something is going on. It does sound like you definitely have some issues with eating and body issues that would be beneficial for you to address. Is there a counselor at school you could talk to about this?

The general outline of your plan, which is to tightly control what you eat on the week days to enjoy more on the weekends is not an inherently unhealthy plan. But it seems the way you are approaching it is. 900-1100 is too low to eat on your regular days, especially for a young person who is in a normal BMI and does exercise. Even if you make some of it up on the weekends, that is still too little to fuel your body on a regular basis. I also think the anxiety and stress both eating during the week and your appearance cause you are signs that there is a deeper issue at play.

I would also talk to your boyfriend about his comments and how they make you feel. He most likely does not realize their effect on you.

diannethegeek

Eating disoreders are tricky things that should be diagnosed by a professional. Very generally speaking, the line is usually drawn based on how much they control or interfere with your life. Things like an inability to get through a meal with your bf without thinking about it, describing your relationship with food as "scared" and "terrified," checking for your hip or collar bones often could all be red flags that something disordered is going on. There are lots of places to turn for more information, including screener questions if what I'm saying seems wrong: https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

Cahgetsfit

I tend to "save" calories for the weekend too - as in - I will eat more crap on the weekend than during the week. During the week it's easier to have things prepped and organised and on the weekend I can go with the flow a bit more especially if I go to someone's house or something like that - i can eat what I get offered.

However - I don't eat that low calories in general. When i'm in maintenance i'm still looking at minimum 1600 during the week and then a bump up to 2000 - 2200 over the weekend.

And i'm an old lady at 42. I can't eat less than 1400 without turning into one big grumpy hangry horrid shaking monster.

As the poster above said though, if you're asking the question, then there is some chance that something is wrong.

Take care and look after yourself

smolmaus

amanda_deanda01 wrote: »

.I’m scared to eat anything high calorie like a cookie or anything “unhealthy” I exercise 4-5 times a week.

But I’m also terrified of becoming chubby again.

When I wake up in the morning I feel my ribs and hip bones to make sure I still can.

it messes with my head and makes me think “am I fat? Do I look like my old chubby self” I can feel my ribs and see my collarbones but I still get insecure and feel the need to drop my calories...I feel like there’s nothing wrong but I guess I just want reassurance on that

There is something wrong. It's not normal to be afraid of food and although women feeling constantly paranoid about weight gain is definitely normalised in society it is not a healthy way to live your life.

I do the hipbone thing too, and the "good" weekdays not eating enough and the "oh whatever" weekends that I then feel guilty about. I binge-restrict, I over-exercise, I have anxiety about becoming chubby-me again. I don't know what either of us should do exactly but I know it's a messed up way of thinking and I know it's harmful and I tell myself that it's toxic even as I'm thinking it. If you can see a professional about it I would try to do that. I'm trying to build up the courage myself while just trying to eat "like a normal person".

In the meantime, do speak to your boyfriend about his comments. My partner doesn't understand my feelings around food or body image at all but he does try and it makes a big difference. Even if it's just taking a simple "no" when I don't/ can't have dessert or not saying anything when I need to have three desserts. It helps.

DamieAnne

I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder and went to some group CBT sessions. What I can tell you from my sessions is you have the signs of disordered eating (fear of certain foods, checking collar bones etc). Disordered eating doesn't fit into neat categories (anorexia, bulimea and BED are the three main types) - you can be a mix of these types, so if you are able, try to get to your GP to be referred to a specialist. They can assess you and your way of thinking and take it from there. If you're unable (it's free here in the UK, but I don't know where you are), there are resources online which may be of help, including CBT you can do by yourself. I cannot stress how much it helped me.

amusedmonkey

It's not about the actions, it's about the mindset. A person with a healthy mindset may choose to save calories for weekends or exercise 5 times a week, but they wouldn't be scared of eating cookies. "Scared" is an alarming word. While you would need to be evaluated professionally to be officially diagnosed with an eating disorder, you do seem to have some disordered eating patterns. This doesn't necessarily mean you have a disorder (you may or may not have it), but it does mean you have some issues with food and your body image that you really need to work on as soon as possible.

You don't need to be severely underweight to seek professional help if you feel you need it. If trying to manage this on your own doesn't work, please don't hesitate to ask for help.