Motivation

Myc4h11

I really need lots of help.
I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

How do I motivate myself to eat well and exercise. I find I dwell on my issues too much and can't move off the sofa.

Any advice would be good

WhatAnAss

Well first off you have already made a step in the right direction by coming here. There are so many great people here and lots of great advice. Start off slow. Make small changes in your diet and get adjusted to them and gradually make more. Try to find new ways to avoid eating. Go for a walk, throw in a workout dvd. Crank up the music and burn some calories. You will feel so much better about yourself when it's all done and you realize you CAN do this. Small steps = big changes. Good luck to you!

mwiechel

Like the previous poster said, make small changes each day and eventually these changes won't be changes, they will become your new lifestyle. Add friends to your profile for motivation, support and accountability. You have to make a choice each day. I read a quote once that said, "Losing weight is hard, Maintaining weight is hard, staying fat is hard. Choose your hard"

Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd love to go along with you on your journey!

crys_aintgivingup

I suck at motivating myself as well. But I've find that going through the experiences of other people really helps me to believe that the thing can be done. Try browsing through the 'success stories' section of this forum, there are loads of amazing men and women who have reached their goals one step at a time - and you can, too!

Please add me as a friend and we'll keep each other motivated! Good luck

Patriots96

I say just do it. You have to start somewhere. Start slow if you need to. I jumped in at the end of February by joining Curves. I needed the short, but structured workout to fit my schedule. I don't exercise well on my own and the women at Curves are great. I have lost 25 lbs since Feb, not much but slow and steady wins the race, right? Got about another 30 to lose. I turned 40 last Oct, that and seeing myself in pictures made me realize it was time for a change. I have 2 kids, boys, ages 17 and almost 12. They encourage me too. I am the only fat one in the house so I know what you mean about needing motivation. Feel free to add me as a friend and we can encourage one another. I am always looking for new friends! :drinker:

StrawberryThief

1. The biggest de-motivator is beating yourself up over not being perfect, s be proud of the effort you're making EVERY F**KING DAY.

2. Slipped up? Eaten a million calories? Drank your body weight in wine? Log it. It sucks, it's hard, but log it, because as long as you do, you're 'on the wagon but having an off patch' rather than 'off the wagon and without hope'. It''s a hard one to make yourself do - and as I type this I know it's a rule I should stick to more myself - but as long as you're checking in you're doing SOMETHING.

Those aren't huge 'get motivated' points, they're more my 'stay motivated' points, because those off-days can really throw you off course, and they shouldn't.

Good luck. x

mortenkl

Hi,

The hardest part (at least for me it was) is to get the wheels turning - getting started a healthier lifestyle.

Mind you, we are all different, but here's how I would motivate myself:

1.
Get rid of the stress in your life. This is a key element to a healthy lifestyle. Being fit and skinny matters nothing if your entire body is stressed.

I KNOW this sounds tacky, but it's really, really necessary. A stressed body and mind are less likely to lose weight because it's in a constant "alert" mode, preserving fat, carbohydrate and such.

2.
Start slow - dont try to do everything at once. Weightloss is 80% dietary change and 20% exercise (that's what I was told). Personally I started eating varied and healthier before getting into ANY kind of exercise.

I wont lie - when you cut back on candy, soda and such your body goes into a craving for a while. I would compare it to quitting smokes. For me that phase lasted for about 14 days and now I really dont mind walking past candy in a store - I dont crave it anymore.

3.
As mentioned above - start slow, also with exercise. Maybe once a week to start with. Remember, exercise gives you energy and as your energy levels start to raise you might even go exercise 2-3 times per week.

I do spinning twice a week (60minutes each) and apart from that I always takes stairs, never elevators or escalators. Might sound silly, but it's the small things that count.

Also, put your exercise into a schedule, it's much much easier. Rather than waking up thinking "hmmmm, should I workout today" you should wake up like "today it's Tuesday, I need to workout at 11AM". Remove the choice from your mindset so to speak .

4.
Set goals (which this site is very good for). I seet all kinds of (stupid) goals - for instance "When I have lost 2 more kgs, I should go buy a computer game / some clothes / whatever". Believe me, it helps to set personal goals.

Some also allow them selves to snack a little once in a while. For some it works, I completely cut back on candy, chips and non diet soda for months - simply to prove to myself that I could (see what I did there - also a goal ).

I hope some of this helps. Good luck!

/ M.

JesterMFP

The way I look at it, your "motivation" is what got you here in the first place. It's needing to be healthier for your kids. Unfortunately, motivation isn't going to get the job done. It's a fickle thing that comes and goes. Some days, you feel great, you make all the right choices regarding your eating, you feel fit and energetic and ready to take on the world. Other days, you don't. You feel like you'll never get fir/lose the weight/whatever, you still want to get healthy, but it feels unattainable, you don't want to count calories or hear another word about weight loss, you just want to eat what you want to eat, as much as you want. Ok, maybe that's just me.

The thing is though, you really can't rely on this elusive motivation to keep you going. It's a feeling, one that comes and goes. Nice when it's there, but you really can't rely on it. What you need is commitment. You need to make that decision that this is important enough in your life to commit to it. You need to decide that you're going to do this, however long it takes, and however many times you slip up. You're going to keep on going.

Look at other areas in your life. You have children, so I'm guessing you do things all the time for them that you don't necessarily feel like doing at the time. You get up early with them (or through the night), you feed them, you dress them, help them with homework (depending on ages of course). If you're in a relationship - is that always something that feels easy, or do you sometimes have to put effort in to make it work? Do you work? (Or have you in the past?) Millions of people get up every day and go to jobs they hate not because they feel like it, but because having a job and being able to pay bills is important to them. So decide: is losing weight and getting healthy important enough to commit to it every day?

Once you commit, then you need to work on creating habits that you can stick to. Losing weight isn't easy, and you do have to make some sacrifices, but at the same time, it doesn't have to be torture. My biggest advice to anyone trying to lose weight is to not make extreme changes that you're only likely to stick with for a few weeks or months. What changes can you make that you can stick with forever? You don't have to cut out all the foods you love, or do hours of exercise that you find boring. Start with logging your foods and meeting your calorie goal. If you want to make changes to your diet (whether it's eating more fibre, or more protein, or cutting down on sugar, or reducing processed foods, or whatever) make changes slowly, and only make the changes that are important to you. Don't rush to cut down carbs just because someone else says you need to for weight loss. Decide what (if any) changes you want to make, and make them gradually.

Same with exercise. I saw on another post you said you "force" yourself to do exercise because you know you "should". How long is that going to last, realistically? Find things that you enjoy doing. Whether it's walking, or swimming, or dancing, or exercise DVDs, find something that you like, or at least don't hate. You don't have to exercise twice a day (per your other post). In fact, to lose weight, you don't have to exercise at all. Your intake is more important. Exercise has a ton of benefits though (including helping to regulate emotions). So try to make it fun, or find something that you can learn a new skill with at the same time, and can see your progression. Find other reasons to exercise beyond just burning calories. If you're inclined to sit on the sofa dwelling on your problems, then the important thing is going to be just getting off the sofa. Make a promise to yourself to get up off the sofa, get out of the house, or put on your workout clothes, something to signify activity. Even if you don't go and exercise intensely for an hour, it gets you into the mindset of being active, and not sit stewing in your problems.

To counteract emotional eating, you really just need to find other ways of making yourself feel better. Its not easy, and will take time, but it can be done. Logging on MFP has helped me a lot because I might feel tempted to overeat, but if I log it in my diary first, I see the effect it will have, and that makes me think twice. I also try to remind myself that whatever I'm feeling, whatever bad situation is making me feel bad, eating is not actually going to solve the situation. Overeating makes me feel better for a very, very short period of time, before I end up feeling worse because of regret, and whatever made me feel bad in the first place is still the same. then, finding other ways to soothe those feeling has been important. Whether it's having a bath, or talking to a friend, or going for a walk. Food it the easiest thing to reach for, but you can start making the effort to do different things, until they become more habitual. If the emotional eating is too difficult to conquer on your own, it's definitely worth considering professional help if that's an option for you. I have to add that I don't consider myself to not be an emotional eater any more, it's just that I keep it under control. I think it's normal to have some emotional connection to food, no matter how often we tell ourselves "food is fuel". We have natural chemical responses to tasting, and smelling food, and it's ingrained into most cultures as a way of celebrating etc, so don't feel less of a person for being an emotional eater. It's problematic, but it doesn't make you a bad person, and it is definitely something you can learn to tame.

And you know, just don't give up. It can be really hard, especially if you're an emotional eater, but don't let one bad day escalate into a bad week or a month or two before you get back on the mythical wagon. Just keep going, keep making the better choices. Gradually, they'll become habits.

howardheilweil

Everyone on this board has issues and stress in their lives. Your motivation to be healthy needs to come from you. You mentioned your children... Do you want to around (and healthy) to see them grow up? If the answer is yes, get off the sofa and take them for a walk or to the park or on a hike. Prepare healthy meals not just for you, but for them too. You can do this, but it starts with you. Good luck!

goodnamegone

The first thing I did was change my diet, I ate less sugary foods and felt better and then AFTER that I had the motivation to do exercise.

For me it was stopping with eating bread and pasta but for you it might be something else.

Have two people come into my life at that time helped as well, one was a personal trainer and the other one had just lost 25kg's so that helped me get motivated. So what I mean by that is make contact with people who have what you want.

ALL THE BEST YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! You're already doing it!!

rabbyduby

love it JESTERMFP

TheKidd2013

Like the previous poster said, make small changes each day and eventually these changes won't be changes, they will become your new lifestyle. Add friends to your profile for motivation, support and accountability. You have to make a choice each day. I read a quote once that said, "Losing weight is hard, Maintaining weight is hard, staying fat is hard. Choose your hard"

Feel free to add me as a friend, I'd love to go along with you on your journey!

You are exactly right on making small changes... If drastic and large changes are made you are less likely to change your habits (speaking from experience myself have failed miserably). Another thing I've noticed is to have a good support system.

Sedna_51

Wonderful advice from everyone on here. After three months and what feels like minimal weight loss, I'm finding it hard to keep the motivation going. I intentionally made small, manageable changes that I could sustain over a long period, and I know and accept that at this rate it'll take me two years to get to my goal, but there's a little devil in my head that keeps saying, "Aw, you'll never make it. Why are you putting yourself through this? You could walk down the street and get a cinnamon bun the size of your head /right now/." And I'll take all the help I can to make that little jerk shut up.

lorenzovonmatterhorn7549

This is all on you. No one is going to motivate you but you. What works for you in other areas of your life? For me, it was getting on the scale and seeing a number that I couldn't fathom. I was bound and determined to get it off and nothing could stop me. For you it might be a photograph, it might be a clothes size. Whatever it is, find it and use it.

msfine2328

Everyone here has wrote great things. It is small steps that have to be taken and you took the biggest one by coming here. I find reading post and having friends on here help me. I am an emotional eater too. Very hard to change. Someone wrote to try and go for a walk if you can when you get stressed. That is a very good idea. Or something physical. The endorphins from exercise will make you feel so much better then the food. And it last longer which is another plus. Good luck to you!!:flowerforyou:

hamminit

You can do it - you just have to decide that today is the day Envision yourself the way you want to be! It helps me. Good Luck

TheBitSlinger

I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

I assume "at the moment" means stressed at any given point in your life. Do you also overeat (I'm assuming you overeat) you're happy? Contended? Anxious? If so, then the first step you need to take is to admit you are addicted to food. If you can beat this addiction yourself, fine. If not, seek something Overeaters Anonymous (not a big fan of OA myself, but whatever helps...)

Sometimes, the only motivation I can dredge up is to persist in my priorities to be 1) be healthier and 2) lose weight.

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race." -- Calvin Coolidge

When I look back and see that I have "pressed onward", I find I'm a lot stronger and better equipped to deal with the times when motivations flag or just aren't there at all.

awlosing30

You've already made the choice to get healthy! That's awesome! In a tough time, it can actually be a good way to get your mind off the circumstances. Whether your kids are young or older, they can help. Make grocery shopping more of an adventure than the same old, "What kind of cereal do yall want?" and "Go grab a bag of cookies". I started letting my kids use the bar code scanner at the store...they love it even though the nutritional facts are right there. So we'll scan a bag of oreos and a bag of snackwell cookies and i let them make the healthier choice. Never fails! I'll get something bad on purpose and end in the produce department! That box of zebra cakes that the 6 year old picked up becomes a comparison to tons of grapes and apples and oranges. So I'll show them "You can have this many grapes and apples or 1 little ole zebra cake." Now sometimes they just WANT that sugar! So I'll get a healthier version and make them limit it. The hard part is that mom has to stay away from it! So be sure to get some of your favorite things in a healthier version! LIke Skinny Cow Cookies and Cream Ice cream sandwiches. Yuuuummm....and only 150 calories ina huge sandwich. So if you're good all day....you get a delicious treat.

Starting slow is good....but if you're serious about making the change to a helthier lifestyle for your kids and you...CLEAN OUT the cupboards and get rid of all the junk couch potato foods. Get the kids involved and let them know..."We are on a mission!" The hunt for healthy bread can be fun! And talk about all the things you can make with "Hungry Girl Flatout bread"...like pizza or pinwheels! Show them pinterest meals using that product. Get some greek yogurt, search pinterest and instantly, you have a huindred recipies that use greek yogurt as a substitute for butter or cream. I know that I used to base meals around what my kids liked, but what they didn't know and what I wasn't teaching them was that what they liked can be healthy and they like more than they thought...I just wasn't fixing it for them or me. Now, my older son grabs the Reduced Fat version or Low carb labeled things first! Your kids will thank you. Now go clean out those cupboards!

Kreacher12

I really need lots of help.
I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

How do I motivate myself to eat well and exercise. I find I dwell on my issues too much and can't move off the sofa.

Any advice would be good

This may sound rude, but it is true in my opinion. You have motivation. You state that you want to get healthy for your children and yourself. That is very good motivation. USE IT!

Stress is something everyone has to some degree. Use that as well. Turn it around. When you feel stressed, get up and move. Exercise instead of sitting on the sofa.

Eat healthy for your children AND for yourself! Diet soda instead of sugared soda. Yes, I know it has an aftertaste. You get use to it. Apriva is good in iced tea. I drink that a lot. Walmart sells an instant tea that is artificially sweetened. I drink that sometimes as well. Diet 7-up isn't as bad as the colas to some.

I was diabetic. Now I am "glucose intolerant". I take no meds for this. I try to eat a high protein diet. I make that a goal. If I am under my calorie, carb and sugar limit and over my protein limit I am overjoyed!

I am also a cancer survivor. Believe me when I tell you that chemo is as close to death as you can get and not be there. I felt sick and tired and just wanted to sit on the sofa. That's what I did because I had no energy to do anything else. Afterward, I was taking meds for the diabetes and gained weight. This made me feel sick and tired as well. My doctor changed my diabetes med and that made things worse. I didn't feel like eating. So I didn't. I lost weight but still felt sick and tired. Finally I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I told my doctor that something had to give. My blood tests were not that bad for my sugar so the doctor took me off the diabetes med. I started to feel better and better. That's when I decide that I WOULD NOT go back to being diabetic and feeling sick and tired. That's some of my motivation. Find yours and hold onto it!

qtgonewild

How bad do you want it? Thats my motivation. It comes from me and only me. Others here can offer support, but they cant offer motivation. Thats something that comes from within.

gordonclaudia

love it jester couldn't of said it better myself

gordonclaudia

I really need lots of help.
I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

How do I motivate myself to eat well and exercise. I find I dwell on my issues too much and can't move off the sofa.

Any advice would be good

This may sound rude, but it is true in my opinion. You have motivation. You state that you want to get healthy for your children and yourself. That is very good motivation. USE IT!

Stress is something everyone has to some degree. Use that as well. Turn it around. When you feel stressed, get up and move. Exercise instead of sitting on the sofa.

Eat healthy for your children AND for yourself! Diet soda instead of sugared soda. Yes, I know it has an aftertaste. You get use to it. Apriva is good in iced tea. I drink that a lot. Walmart sells an instant tea that is artificially sweetened. I drink that sometimes as well. Diet 7-up isn't as bad as the colas to some.

I was diabetic. Now I am "glucose intolerant". I take no meds for this. I try to eat a high protein diet. I make that a goal. If I am under my calorie, carb and sugar limit and over my protein limit I am overjoyed!

I am also a cancer survivor. Believe me when I tell you that chemo is as close to death as you can get and not be there. I felt sick and tired and just wanted to sit on the sofa. That's what I did because I had no energy to do anything else. Afterward, I was taking meds for the diabetes and gained weight. This made me feel sick and tired as well. My doctor changed my diabetes med and that made things worse. I didn't feel like eating. So I didn't. I lost weight but still felt sick and tired. Finally I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I told my doctor that something had to give. My blood tests were not that bad for my sugar so the doctor took me off the diabetes med. I started to feel better and better. That's when I decide that I WOULD NOT go back to being diabetic and feeling sick and tired. That's some of my motivation. Find yours and hold onto it!

gordonclaudia

I really need lots of help.
I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

How do I motivate myself to eat well and exercise. I find I dwell on my issues too much and can't move off the sofa.

Any advice would be good

Here is a silly thought if you are on the couch make the couch a place to work out. do triceps dips crunches leg raises and some arm excercise. If your an emotional eater grab an apple, lettuce, carrot , yogurt while your emotionally eating. You aren't going to get rid of the emotional eating over night so substitute the unhealthy choices in the home. So if you have a moment of emotionally eating the choices are limited to something good, and you won't feel as guility after words. Life is filled with sadness to tell someone to get over( not that you did) is almost impossible i say the only way to fix stress is to face it. so work out on the couch as you work thru the stress and eventually you may find a solution. Your kids can be your motivation to start but you have to do it for you. YOUR WORTH IT. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOUR ARE GOING THROUGH> you are here so you are ready to start and thats the first step. YOU CAN ADD ME IF YOU WANT

ladypitek

It's very very difficult to take that first step in motivation. When all you want to do is sit on the couch and watch tv it's hard to convince yourself to get up and move. But once you start regularly moving you won't WANT to sit on the couch anymore. Start slow. A 10 minute walk around your neighborhood maybe. Take the kids with you, I'm sure they'd love the fresh air. One of the things that has helped me most with my weight loss goals is planning and measuring my food. Every night I measure out my snacks for the next day into plastic baggies or tupperware; usually something like baby carrots and blueberries and grape tomatoes and other snackable fruits/veggies. When I have everything already ready to go it makes it MUCH easier to avoid mindlessly snacking on an entire bag of potato chips or row of oreos. You have to find what works for you. But having children you always have to remember that they watch EVERYTHING you do and you are one of their biggest influences (I'm not trying to pressure you, I swear!) So whatever habits you have they will also take on. You have to decide if you want your kids to see you being a couch potato, or an active mommy who will go outside and run around and play with them. Good luck!!

Sedna_51

1. The biggest de-motivator is beating yourself up over not being perfect, s be proud of the effort you're making EVERY F**KING DAY.

2. Slipped up? Eaten a million calories? Drank your body weight in wine? Log it. It sucks, it's hard, but log it, because as long as you do, you're 'on the wagon but having an off patch' rather than 'off the wagon and without hope'. It''s a hard one to make yourself do - and as I type this I know it's a rule I should stick to more myself - but as long as you're checking in you're doing SOMETHING.

Those aren't huge 'get motivated' points, they're more my 'stay motivated' points, because those off-days can really throw you off course, and they shouldn't.

Good luck. x

Quoted for truth. I know if I can follow these, I'll get to where I'm going eventually.

witmer1

I really need lots of help.
I'm an emotional eater due to stresses in my life at the moment. I need to get healthily for my children and myself.

How do I motivate myself to eat well and exercise. I find I dwell on my issues too much and can't move off the sofa.

Any advice would be good

Realize that couch is your anchor. It's holding you back. Anything pushing there is holding you back. I've done what I've done for the same reason you're looking for. My son is #1 in my life. He is my WHY. Find YOUR why. Realize if you don't take care of you, your why will suffer. This isn't easy, nor is anything in life. If you want it bad enough, you'll do it. You're going to find accountability here, not real motivation. Real motivation is seeing your children having a parent that can run around with them, share in their life, see things, learn and grow together.

When you're about to eat junk, look at it, then look at your kids. Which is more important? Does the temporary reward of sweets or whatever you're indulging on outweigh the opportunity you'll miss with your kids if you stay on your current path? If it's a "no", do something else.

I have tons of stress in my life, but I've learned walking, exercise, keeping myself busy and moving forward helps to keep my mind occupied. My accomplishments make me happy. I've logged over 100 miles walking in a few months. Finishing a 4 mile walk makes me happy. Doing something better for me means doing something better for my son.

The weekend before last, something happened that p***ed me off more than words can describe. Instead of fighting about it or letting it eat me up inside or indulging in junk or sitting my butt on the couch, I took a walk. I walked almost 3 miles. I had my headphones on and the world went away. My madness went away. I felt better. I dealt with the issue, but not as a raged lunatic. My anger was used in my walk. I completed that walk (my usual route) faster than ever before.

You can do this. Believe in yourself. You can do it. Stop doubting. Start doing and you'll learn this too. Add me if you'd like.

sandra80

I was right there with you when i started. i did this for my kids. i knew i wanted to leave my abusive ex so i needed to get my health in order so i could be a strong single mom to my kids. every bite of food, think is this making me closer to the strong mommy i need to be? every moment that you want to sit on the couch....will this time on the couch give me more time with my kids when i'm older since i will probably not be around much longer living like this? keep going! keep moving! your babies deserve a strong healthy mom that will be there to see them through all of life's milestones. i want to see my kids graduate HS, college and beyond. i want to see them fall in love and get married to someone that will treat them right. i want to hold my grandbabies one day.......hopefully VERY far in the future!

vikdexkaykai

Thanks for these tips. I needed to hear them also. Great points. I especially like #4.
Jen

Hi,

The hardest part (at least for me it was) is to get the wheels turning - getting started a healthier lifestyle.

Mind you, we are all different, but here's how I would motivate myself:

1.
Get rid of the stress in your life. This is a key element to a healthy lifestyle. Being fit and skinny matters nothing if your entire body is stressed.

I KNOW this sounds tacky, but it's really, really necessary. A stressed body and mind are less likely to lose weight because it's in a constant "alert" mode, preserving fat, carbohydrate and such.

2.
Start slow - dont try to do everything at once. Weightloss is 80% dietary change and 20% exercise (that's what I was told). Personally I started eating varied and healthier before getting into ANY kind of exercise.

I wont lie - when you cut back on candy, soda and such your body goes into a craving for a while. I would compare it to quitting smokes. For me that phase lasted for about 14 days and now I really dont mind walking past candy in a store - I dont crave it anymore.

3.
As mentioned above - start slow, also with exercise. Maybe once a week to start with. Remember, exercise gives you energy and as your energy levels start to raise you might even go exercise 2-3 times per week.

I do spinning twice a week (60minutes each) and apart from that I always takes stairs, never elevators or escalators. Might sound silly, but it's the small things that count.

Also, put your exercise into a schedule, it's much much easier. Rather than waking up thinking "hmmmm, should I workout today" you should wake up like "today it's Tuesday, I need to workout at 11AM". Remove the choice from your mindset so to speak .

4.
Set goals (which this site is very good for). I seet all kinds of (stupid) goals - for instance "When I have lost 2 more kgs, I should go buy a computer game / some clothes / whatever". Believe me, it helps to set personal goals.

Some also allow them selves to snack a little once in a while. For some it works, I completely cut back on candy, chips and non diet soda for months - simply to prove to myself that I could (see what I did there - also a goal ).

I hope some of this helps. Good luck!

/ M.
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sassyann45

I fight emotional eating and have learned to overcome most days.....feel free to add me as a friend!!

Lauren2H

The way I look at it, your "motivation" is what got you here in the first place. It's needing to be healthier for your kids. Unfortunately, motivation isn't going to get the job done. It's a fickle thing that comes and goes. Some days, you feel great, you make all the right choices regarding your eating, you feel fit and energetic and ready to take on the world. Other days, you don't. You feel like you'll never get fir/lose the weight/whatever, you still want to get healthy, but it feels unattainable, you don't want to count calories or hear another word about weight loss, you just want to eat what you want to eat, as much as you want. Ok, maybe that's just me.

The thing is though, you really can't rely on this elusive motivation to keep you going. It's a feeling, one that comes and goes. Nice when it's there, but you really can't rely on it. What you need is commitment. You need to make that decision that this is important enough in your life to commit to it. You need to decide that you're going to do this, however long it takes, and however many times you slip up. You're going to keep on going.

Look at other areas in your life. You have children, so I'm guessing you do things all the time for them that you don't necessarily feel like doing at the time. You get up early with them (or through the night), you feed them, you dress them, help them with homework (depending on ages of course). If you're in a relationship - is that always something that feels easy, or do you sometimes have to put effort in to make it work? Do you work? (Or have you in the past?) Millions of people get up every day and go to jobs they hate not because they feel like it, but because having a job and being able to pay bills is important to them. So decide: is losing weight and getting healthy important enough to commit to it every day?

Once you commit, then you need to work on creating habits that you can stick to. Losing weight isn't easy, and you do have to make some sacrifices, but at the same time, it doesn't have to be torture. My biggest advice to anyone trying to lose weight is to not make extreme changes that you're only likely to stick with for a few weeks or months. What changes can you make that you can stick with forever? You don't have to cut out all the foods you love, or do hours of exercise that you find boring. Start with logging your foods and meeting your calorie goal. If you want to make changes to your diet (whether it's eating more fibre, or more protein, or cutting down on sugar, or reducing processed foods, or whatever) make changes slowly, and only make the changes that are important to you. Don't rush to cut down carbs just because someone else says you need to for weight loss. Decide what (if any) changes you want to make, and make them gradually.

Same with exercise. I saw on another post you said you "force" yourself to do exercise because you know you "should". How long is that going to last, realistically? Find things that you enjoy doing. Whether it's walking, or swimming, or dancing, or exercise DVDs, find something that you like, or at least don't hate. You don't have to exercise twice a day (per your other post). In fact, to lose weight, you don't have to exercise at all. Your intake is more important. Exercise has a ton of benefits though (including helping to regulate emotions). So try to make it fun, or find something that you can learn a new skill with at the same time, and can see your progression. Find other reasons to exercise beyond just burning calories. If you're inclined to sit on the sofa dwelling on your problems, then the important thing is going to be just getting off the sofa. Make a promise to yourself to get up off the sofa, get out of the house, or put on your workout clothes, something to signify activity. Even if you don't go and exercise intensely for an hour, it gets you into the mindset of being active, and not sit stewing in your problems.

To counteract emotional eating, you really just need to find other ways of making yourself feel better. Its not easy, and will take time, but it can be done. Logging on MFP has helped me a lot because I might feel tempted to overeat, but if I log it in my diary first, I see the effect it will have, and that makes me think twice. I also try to remind myself that whatever I'm feeling, whatever bad situation is making me feel bad, eating is not actually going to solve the situation. Overeating makes me feel better for a very, very short period of time, before I end up feeling worse because of regret, and whatever made me feel bad in the first place is still the same. then, finding other ways to soothe those feeling has been important. Whether it's having a bath, or talking to a friend, or going for a walk. Food it the easiest thing to reach for, but you can start making the effort to do different things, until they become more habitual. If the emotional eating is too difficult to conquer on your own, it's definitely worth considering professional help if that's an option for you. I have to add that I don't consider myself to not be an emotional eater any more, it's just that I keep it under control. I think it's normal to have some emotional connection to food, no matter how often we tell ourselves "food is fuel". We have natural chemical responses to tasting, and smelling food, and it's ingrained into most cultures as a way of celebrating etc, so don't feel less of a person for being an emotional eater. It's problematic, but it doesn't make you a bad person, and it is definitely something you can learn to tame.

And you know, just don't give up. It can be really hard, especially if you're an emotional eater, but don't let one bad day escalate into a bad week or a month or two before you get back on the mythical wagon. Just keep going, keep making the better choices. Gradually, they'll become habits.

Bump. Because this is awesome.

Myc4h11

Think you everyone for your posts. I'm overwhelmed with the response. Just reading all the post is motivational.

I agree small steps and changing junk food for healthier options.

Thank you, thank you again and again.

You all are amazing