What do you say to people ( family, friends, colleagues)...

amring
amring Posts: 21 Member
in Motivation and Support
On the following comments below:
"You don't need to diet you look skinny and too old"
"You still need to get pregnant being too skinny will make it difficult"
"She never eats anything" (about me to other people)
I get these comments whenever I kindly say no to the junk food I'm being offered..I have tried everything from: no thanks I'm on a diet I don't eat those kind of foods, to no thanks I'm trying to be healthy" but people just don't stop. Even worse today, I got compared to a girl who is practically a size 0 due to genetics!! How would you respond to those types of comments?

Replies

  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    Stop giving them ammo. When they offer food you don't want to take, just say no thank you. When they ask just say you don't want any right now. If they bring up diet or start in on the comments above, very clearly tell them your weight and diet are not up for discussion. Then walk away.
  • smiliekiwi
    smiliekiwi Posts: 92 Member
    Oh that looks lovely , but I’ve just eaten ... ( well they’re not going to ask how long ago)
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    "You don't need to diet you look skinny and too old"
    Former friend.

    "You still need to get pregnant being too skinny will make it difficult"
    Formerly watched Dr. Oz, or Dr. Phil, or, if you're really too old, Marcus Welby.


    "She never eats anything" (about me to other people)
    They wouldn't know anyway. They can't see through a Dorito funnel.

  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
    Just say no thank you. I don't tell anyone Im trying to lose weight or eat healthier. I made that mistake before and will not make it again.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    No. It's a complete sentence all on it's own. Make it "No, thank you." if they are people you kinda like or have to keep a collegial relationship with.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,284 Member
    Bring it up as infrequently as humanly possible yourself.

    Beyond that, I got a bunch of mileage out of "my doctor and I are happy with my weight and goals," then change the subject.

    Sorry you're getting this cr*p! :flowerforyou:
  • jaybirdaz79
    jaybirdaz79 Posts: 37 Member
    edited February 2019
    "You don't need to diet you look skinny and too old." Super rude and insulting.

    "You still need to get pregnant being too skinny will make it difficult." How does this person know that you need to get pregnant??? Bizarre.

    "She never eats anything." Biologically impossible. But a fun response would be something from Ab/Fab, when Patsy says "That's right. I haven't eaten anything since 1973." LOL ;)

    Seriously, though, you need to ignore these types of comments, as they are not a reflection on YOU, but what is called "projecting" onto you what this person is really feeling about themselves and their own shortcomings and fears.

    On the other hand, I have used a Dear Abby favorite when asked rude questions:

    "I'll forgive you for asking, if you'll forgive me for not answering." :)

  • jaybirdaz79
    jaybirdaz79 Posts: 37 Member
    Oh, and if all that fails, you can always default to "it's a medical thing" and if they press you to eat junky or greasy food, you can say "Is your upholstery machine-washable?" implying it will make you sick. :)
  • JenniferAndres
    JenniferAndres Posts: 28 Member
    Hell, own it. Comments come- say, “Thanks!” Or you can add “Ive worked hard on getting this figure.” At least they noticed(kind of a warped way to think about it but...)😎
  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 697 Member
    After I lost weight, I got comments but a couple of months went by and they got used to it. No problem.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    No thanks. Resist the temptation to explain. You’re really under no obligation.

    When pressed the only explanation I’d give was “I can’t.” I did have the benefit of being about 50. There’s a lot of possible reasons why a 50 year old guy “can’t” eat something. “I can’t” carries the suggestion that the Dr told me not to. But I don’t recall anyone who kept after me beyond “I can’t.”

    The real answer-
    “I can’t eat that because it would blow up my plan” was information they didn’t need.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I would not mention dieting or call the food unhealthy.
    If offered food you don't want I would just say I don't want it or I am not hungry.

    If you think the comments are coming from a place of love and concern you could sit down with the person and explain your goals are not unhealthy and how you are working to acheive your goals. You can mention thst you have spoken to your doctor and they are fine with your goals.
    If you think the person is just being rude/intrusive/mean you could just say these continued comments about my body are inappropriate and unwelcome and need to stop. Remind them that they are not your doctor and you did not ask for their input. They can keep their opinions to themselves. Change the subject, hang up the phone, walk out of the room, report harrasment in the workplace.
  • amring
    amring Posts: 21 Member
    Thank you MFP family for the replies...well I can sort of be direct with colleagues, friends but some of the comments I get from family eg aunt, cousins or extended family! Don't want to come across rude but want to put my foot down too!
  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
    I usually go with "it's not in my calorie budget" and refuse to elaborate.
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    amring wrote: »
    Thank you MFP family for the replies...well I can sort of be direct with colleagues, friends but some of the comments I get from family eg aunt, cousins or extended family! Don't want to come across rude but want to put my foot down too!

    Good luck 😊

  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    People don't like for other people to change, especially when it challenges their own status quo (ie I can't lose weight for x reason) Stick to your guns, they'll get used to it sooner or later.
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    amring wrote: »
    Don't want to come across rude but want to put my foot down too!

    Well, with those kind of comments... they started it.

    "That isn't a very polite thing to say" is a decent response too, people will say mad things to family that they would never dream of saying to anyone else.
  • MichelleSilverleaf
    MichelleSilverleaf Posts: 2,027 Member
    amring wrote: »
    On the following comments below:
    "You don't need to diet you look skinny and too old"
    "You still need to get pregnant being too skinny will make it difficult"
    "She never eats anything" (about me to other people)
    I get these comments whenever I kindly say no to the junk food I'm being offered..I have tried everything from: no thanks I'm on a diet I don't eat those kind of foods, to no thanks I'm trying to be healthy" but people just don't stop. Even worse today, I got compared to a girl who is practically a size 0 due to genetics!! How would you respond to those types of comments?

    "Thanks but I didn't ask."
    "I didn't know you were an ob/gyn."
    "My food diary would disagree with you."

    Also, when you say no thank you and someone tries to push remind them that no is a complete answer. Because it is.

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