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The New Singles Hangout...Come & Mingle

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  • ExpressoLove11ExpressoLove11 Member Posts: 322 Member Member Posts: 322 Member
    Hello there singles. A new week looms and I wonder what life changing event will happen this week

    I feel like it needs to be a good week. Last week was pretty sucky.
  • mehshell420mehshell420 Member Posts: 754 Member Member Posts: 754 Member
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 7,607 Member Member Posts: 7,607 Member
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.

    Ok, I'm not single so don't belong here. :( But I've often wondered why some people are very afraid of being single. Any comments on that? I feel if one has a fulfilling life, it can be a very empowering thing. Been married 43 yrs.(I think?) but was separated for 12 of them and I loved it. Coming from our own individual perspectives can make a world of difference, I guess.
  • J_NY_ZJ_NY_Z Member Posts: 2,263 Member Member Posts: 2,263 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.

    Ok, I'm not single so don't belong here. :( But I've often wondered why some people are very afraid of being single. Any comments on that? I feel if one has a fulfilling life, it can be a very empowering thing. Been married 43 yrs.(I think?) but was separated for 12 of them and I loved it. Coming from our own individual perspectives can make a world of difference, I guess.

    I love being single, only responsible for myself. I'm too independent, selfish and self-sufficient to be a good partner. That took me many years to understand. It would take a very special person to change my perspective at this point. I'm an old dog and I don't do tricks.
  • tluisa311tluisa311 Member Posts: 98 Member Member Posts: 98 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.

    Ok, I'm not single so don't belong here. :( But I've often wondered why some people are very afraid of being single. Any comments on that? I feel if one has a fulfilling life, it can be a very empowering thing. Been married 43 yrs.(I think?) but was separated for 12 of them and I loved it. Coming from our own individual perspectives can make a world of difference, I guess.

    I think it really depends on people's experiences as well as upbringing. Personally, I have both sides of the coin in my life. My father is from the Azorean islands and that side of the family is very strict and old school when it comes to a woman's role in life. Women are expected to find a husband and make many babies as soon as she legally becomes an adult. Once you've gotten past 21 without a husband, you start to become a black sheep.
    In addition, I find that people who come from big families keep that mentality moving forward with their own life, and they want that same thing for their own family.

    On the other hand, I am an only child, and I have always been comfortable living alone, vacationing alone and being single. I don't like the idea of settling just so that I don't have to be alone, however, when I look ahead and think of what my life will be like when I'm 60, I realize that if I'm still single, I will have very little family left. What will my holidays look like? What will old age look like since I will have no family looking out for me? I think that's probably the scariest part. Being alone when you're young and can take of yourself is easy. But when you're 80 with no kids, no nieces or nephews, no siblings, no parents.... it can be a frightening thought.
  • VersicolourVersicolour Member Posts: 6,971 Member Member Posts: 6,971 Member
    I'm mostly okay being single. But I miss kisses and snuggles and other stuff that I can't do by myself
  • CutemesoonCutemesoon Member Posts: 2,644 Member Member Posts: 2,644 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.
    I've often wondered why some people are very afraid of being single. Any comments on that? I feel if one has a fulfilling life, it can be a very empowering thing. Coming from our own individual perspectives can make a world of difference, I guess.

    I don't think most of us on this post are afraid of being single. That's why we're here. Most of us are here from the previous singles post. This one was started over 2 yrs ago. The gang's all here. Singleness is freedom. Most of us wouldn't have things any other way!
  • BraydanTaffyBraydanTaffy Member Posts: 504 Member Member Posts: 504 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    Currently reading 'single is your superpower' Very cheesy title, but the book itself has a good shift of perspective, which is needed sometimes.

    Ok, I'm not single so don't belong here. :( But I've often wondered why some people are very afraid of being single. Any comments on that? I feel if one has a fulfilling life, it can be a very empowering thing. Been married 43 yrs.(I think?) but was separated for 12 of them and I loved it. Coming from our own individual perspectives can make a world of difference, I guess.

    It's a good q & everyone belongs. :smile:

    Well, you answered it yourself. Alone 12, but together 40+. If you preferred being single, you'd have stayed single. You were fine, it was good, but most living creatures, from plants to animals to humans prefer a partner, so you returned to partnership.

    Not everyone is miserable being alone... I've also known a lot of miserable people with SO's... I've been one in both categories.

    With an SO, it can be trying having someone around all the time, but that's natural... even partnered animals snap at each other. Most of us wouldn't want our best friends around us 24/7 either. Well, except for Gayle & Oprah. And, it can be very isolating when alone all the time, too. I've driven myself home from surgery several times, by waiting for the nurses to take their eyes off me & escaping into the parking lot (they wouldn't let me leave alone or with a stranger, like a taxi/Uber driver)... had no choice... no one to pick me up. I've never felt more alone than during those times, or when I have to move & am dragging 60-lb bags, which is almost 1/2 my body weight, trying to kick or drag them into the trunk of my car.

    I'm not miserable & don't always feel lonely... but, I do feel like it's just me & no one's around who's got my back. Then again, I've been in relationships where I felt the same. I love to be alone, a lot... but, it would be nice to have someone around to share fun things with... hiking, walking, going out for dinner or just talking. I can do those alone (well, except for the latter, unless it's a wall), but it's not always safe or fun for a girl. Someone recently tried to drag me into a car while I was walking outside my apt in early afternoon... it unnerved me & I haven't walked for weeks & honestly, probably won't again... that's not good. So, that means I've curtailed a lot... I'm not F'n going hiking or walking on a trail alone. If with an SO... it wouldn't even enter my mind... I know he'd watch after me. I've also had 2 attempted break-ins & I've only been here 6-mos (3 if you count the wrong door police raid 2-wks ago)... again, I now don't even feel comfortable in my own home. When an SO is around... I don't jump with every loud noise or if a stranger knocks on the door at 11pm... he'll take care of it.

    I'm single & have been for a couple of years. I don't mind being alone, at all. I'm in control inside my home. But, if I had a fun, loving partner, I'd gladly give up some of that control... you want the a/c less or more cold, fine... I'll adjust... we'll hopefully both adjust to each other.

    I'm tired of being alone all the time. I hope it's not continued much longer... now that Covid's passing, I look forward to getting out a bit more.
    edited July 17
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 7,607 Member Member Posts: 7,607 Member
    @BraydenTaffy Many {hugs} and safe thoughts to you! You've moving soon right? Definitely need a safer place. :(

    When my youngest dd left home, heading to Boston for college, I went nuts with worry. But then she moved across country to Seattle, with a friend after college. I went even nuttier because I'd get calls from her at night that her car had been broken into(happened 3x in that 1st year), her neighbors were drug dealers, etc. I was a nervous wreck. Then she found her boyfriend and they've been together for several years. TG. I feel I can rest easy now. I feel someone close by is watching her back.
    So I get both sides. It's nice to have a partner in life who can support and help you and watch your back. But yeh, as you mentioned, a fun partner can make all the difference. :)

    You sound like a strong smart woman!
  • BraydanTaffyBraydanTaffy Member Posts: 504 Member Member Posts: 504 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    @BraydenTaffy Many {hugs} and safe thoughts to you! You've moving soon right? Definitely need a safer place. :(

    When my youngest dd left home, heading to Boston for college, I went nuts with worry. But then she moved across country to Seattle, with a friend after college. I went even nuttier because I'd get calls from her at night that her car had been broken into(happened 3x in that 1st year), her neighbors were drug dealers, etc. I was a nervous wreck. Then she found her boyfriend and they've been together for several years. TG. I feel I can rest easy now. I feel someone close by is watching her back.
    So I get both sides. It's nice to have a partner in life who can support and help you and watch your back. But yeh, as you mentioned, a fun partner can make all the difference. :)

    You sound like a strong smart woman!

    @ReenieHJ TY for your good wishes & nice words. :smile:

    Yes, I am moving in Nov. Since the pandemic, with so many escaping other states to come here to buy cheaper housing, the rents are being exponentially driven up, cuz they rent until they buy, which can be 1, 6 or 12-mos. They pay market rate, which is 2-1/2 times the normal rent on a short lease. According to my rental office, my rent is projected to go up $800-1K. There's become an utter exodus from the complex... I don't know which % are renewing leases, but there are multiple moving trucks clogging the parking lots daily... for months, I'd rarely see 1. Nonetheless, with the aforementioned incidents, I'd be moving anyway. So, I can no longer afford my own 'hood & the intense FL heat & humidity isn't to my liking, anyway, so I'll move out of state again. I have time to figure out where.

    As far as crime, mums will always worry. I'm probably far beyond your daughter's age & my mum has called the police for a wellness check 3-4 times in different places I've lived, only cuz she didn't hear back from me quickly enough after leaving a voice mail & since I always live alone, she thinks I've been murdered, lol. Mums worry. I guess that's their job.

    But, your daughter will be fine. I've lived in Capital Hill, Seattle & loved it... it was far safer than any other place I've lived, but it always depends on the 'hood. Two blocks over can be far different, for better or worse. And, there's even crime in small towns. I rent in a wealthy 'hood, but have had more incidents here in just 5-mos than years in other places that weren't wealthy parts of a city.

    As far as strong & smart... I'm street savvy & mental strength comes with it. When alone all the time, you've no choice... if you don't wanna get murdered, lol.
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 7,607 Member Member Posts: 7,607 Member
    @BraydanTaffy, my sister's looking for a roomie. :) Seriously. :) So if ever ever think northern climate would be a good change, let me know.
  • BraydanTaffyBraydanTaffy Member Posts: 504 Member Member Posts: 504 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    @BraydanTaffy, my sister's looking for a roomie. :) Seriously. :) So if ever ever think northern climate would be a good change, let me know.

    @RennieHJ Which city/state is that, Rennie?
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 7,607 Member Member Posts: 7,607 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    @BraydanTaffy, my sister's looking for a roomie. :) Seriously. :) So if ever ever think northern climate would be a good change, let me know.

    @RennieHJ Which city/state is that, Rennie?

    Vermont. No gators here. :) No hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, we get all 4 seasons, plus an extra season of mud. We do have tick season as well but I've learned how to deal with those critters pretty well. Friend me if you'd seriously be interested and we can talk. As far as job opportunities, good paying ones aren't that plentiful because we live in a small town area. But WFH is a consideration and if you don't mind traveling a bit there might be something within an hr. radius.
    edited July 18
  • BraydanTaffyBraydanTaffy Member Posts: 504 Member Member Posts: 504 Member
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    ReenieHJ wrote: »
    @BraydanTaffy, my sister's looking for a roomie. :) Seriously. :) So if ever ever think northern climate would be a good change, let me know.

    @RennieHJ Which city/state is that, Rennie?

    Vermont. No gators here. :) No hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, floods, we get all 4 seasons, plus an extra season of mud. We do have tick season as well but I've learned how to deal with those critters pretty well. Friend me if you'd seriously be interested and we can talk. As far as job opportunities, good paying ones aren't that plentiful because we live in a small town area. But WFH is a consideration and if you don't mind traveling a bit there might be something within an hr. radius.

    VT is beautiful, but too small town for me, Rennie. I spent many years in Boston, so I'm familiar... I need a bigger city, if not just for job opps. But, TY!
  • Kindhearts30Kindhearts30 Member Posts: 1,532 Member Member Posts: 1,532 Member
    How's everyone doing???

    where are u from?
  • boilerdawg2009boilerdawg2009 Member Posts: 58 Member Member Posts: 58 Member
    How's everyone doing???

    where are u from?

    Indiana. You?
  • CurvyEmmyCurvyEmmy Member Posts: 67 Member Member Posts: 67 Member
  • VersicolourVersicolour Member Posts: 6,971 Member Member Posts: 6,971 Member
    South Africa

    Way down south where bananas grow
    The grasshopper stepped on the elephant's toe
    The elephant said with tears in his eyes,
    "Pick on somebody your own size"
  • ReenieHJReenieHJ Member Posts: 7,607 Member Member Posts: 7,607 Member
    Boom boom yeh you're making me crazy
  • J_NY_ZJ_NY_Z Member Posts: 2,263 Member Member Posts: 2,263 Member
    South Africa

    Way down south where bananas grow
    The grasshopper stepped on the elephant's toe
    The elephant said with tears in his eyes,
    "Pick on somebody your own size"

    I never want to see a South African grasshopper.
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