How to not gain weight if I get pregnant?

simcon1

That sounds really really tough! It seems like talking through all of the issues with a counselor would be really worthwhile for your thinking about all of these decisions and for your healing more generally. Pregnancies can be taxing on mental health as well as physical health, and getting some more personal feedback and perspective about your specific circumstances seems like it would be a good idea.

Orphia

ashleygroizard wrote: »

I have a child already that was taken off me due to a lot of severe circumstances due to being very unwell. I’ve been told my child may never come home to me and his dad. I was told to have another child if I’m mentally stable. I put on a lot of weight which made my knee caps pop out of place which was excruciating pain. I have bad knees it runs in my family. I’m scared of putting on weight because of how bad the pain was. I’m not quite sure I deserve another child. I want to wait to see if my one and only beautiful child comes back to me but he may never come home. I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to do wrong by my son or another child. Maybe I am being selfish like people have suggested. I just want to be a good healthy mum that’s well. I let my son down and I regret being so mentally unwell. Maybe I should not have another child. Maybe I was never meant to be a full time mummy having my child live with me. I’m doing the best I can and trying so hard to get my son back and I don’t want my son to feel I’m replacing him. Because no one can replace my Blakey boy.

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you've been unwell and lost custody of your boy.

I think you're right not to have another child yet.

You will probably get your boy back when you (and your husband?) get better.

You don't need to fear weight gain in a future that's undecided.

Getting better is the most important thing.

An online forum is a great place for support, but you must get good medical, psychiatric, and psychological advice.

1. Are you having regular appointments with medical and mental health professionals?
2. Have you made any progress?
3. Do you and your family/friends agree with the diagnosis and treatment?

Liamsm0m

ashleygroizard wrote: »

Hi I am thinking about having a baby. I’m worried about gaining weight. I’ve been losing weight for the last four years and I was wondering if I keep doing what I’m doing will I gain weight if I get pregnant and after my baby is born? I would love another baby but i haven’t made a decision yet on whether to try for another baby. I do a 8km walk most days if not most every day of the week. And I’m eating less and I’m under my daily calorie intake recommended total every day.

25-30 lbs gain is normal - you should remember that from your first. I remember reading when pregnant, it’s a misunderstood theme to “eat for two”. And that pregnant women really only need to eat the additional calorie amount found in an orange. And orange! 🍊
That really helped keep things in perspective for me when pregnant.

I gained 32lbs. But I was already fluffy and then not enough of it came off - hence... I’m here! 🥰

Take a few days of your logs and show your doctor. See what they say. My doctor never told me I needed to be sure to eat. Like it’s just known people already eat and eat enough for your body to make a baby. However one thing I cannot stress enough is WATER. You will drink more water and need more water than you ever have in your life but I’m sure you know this!

It’s doable and practical and healthy to eat well in pregnancy. Also... exercise/move a lot. Many pregnant women still exercise until it’s uncomfortable with their tummies and then keep walking. If you have a child already that will be easy. Kids love to move.

Best of luck xo

kshama2001

ashleygroizard wrote: »

simcon1 wrote: »

Sounds to me like OP is already a mom... and I don’t know that trying to preserve health gains with kid #2 is vain. But i agree with everyone that consulting with health care professionals about how much weight to shoot to gain is probably the way to go, and is based on current weight. Also, barring medically challenging pregnancies, there should be no reason not to keep exercising throughout. I loved walking throughout both my pregnancies, as well as water aerobics, swimming, elliptical, and other things (I’m a runner now, wasn’t then). It helped me to think of labor as a big physical challenge I needed to fuel appropriately and train for in terms of endurance 😀

ETA: I lost all my pregnancy weight effortlessly with #1 by 4-5 months postpartum because of nursing. The second one was tougher because I was working full time and had my oldest and wasn’t prioritizing my health, but I don’t regret it! And now (they’re 10 & 16), my weight is lower than it was back then, and nothing has felt terribly hard.

I have a child already that was taken off me due to a lot of severe circumstances due to being very unwell. I’ve been told my child may never come home to me and his dad. I was told to have another child if I’m mentally stable. I put on a lot of weight which made my knee caps pop out of place which was excruciating pain. I have bad knees it runs in my family. I’m scared of putting on weight because of how bad the pain was. I’m not quite sure I deserve another child. I want to wait to see if my one and only beautiful child comes back to me but he may never come home. I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to do wrong by my son or another child. Maybe I am being selfish like people have suggested. I just want to be a good healthy mum that’s well. I let my son down and I regret being so mentally unwell. Maybe I should not have another child. Maybe I was never meant to be a full time mummy having my child live with me. I’m doing the best I can and trying so hard to get my son back and I don’t want my son to feel I’m replacing him. Because no one can replace my Blakey boy.

It doesn't sound to me like you are mentally ready to have another child. Are you in therapy? How is that going?

If you are trying to get Blakey back, and he is not in a permanent situation, I think that and your mental health should be your focus at the moment.

Was he taken away due to substance abuse? Are you in recovery? For how long? How is that going?

ashleygroizard

I have decided to wait for Blake to hopefully be returned. I will be doing dialectical behaviour therapy for my borderline personality disorder. I am seeing a psychologist. I’m doing relapse prevention. I will also be doing a parenting program. Thank you for everyone’s comments. I won’t be having another baby

Orphia

ashleygroizard wrote: »

I have decided to wait for Blake to hopefully be returned. I will be doing dialectical behaviour therapy for my borderline personality disorder. I am seeing a psychologist. I’m doing relapse prevention. I will also be doing a parenting program. Thank you for everyone’s comments. I won’t be having another baby

I'm so happy to hear that.


In these situations, I like to put up a link for anyone who might be reading with similar issues.

https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt


My sincere best wishes.

Lillymoo01

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It must be so hard being separated from Blake. From what you have said a agree with others that you are not in the right mental space to have another child, as pregnancy, birth and dealing with a baby are very taxing on our mental health. Having another could easily result in you losing custody with both and that would be worse than where you are currently at. Also, having another child will not ease the pain of losing custody of Blake. Nothing will take away that pain.

Good luck with your journey forward. I hope you and your partner reach a point where Blake is returned to you.

ashleygroizard

Orphia wrote: »

ashleygroizard wrote: »

I have decided to wait for Blake to hopefully be returned. I will be doing dialectical behaviour therapy for my borderline personality disorder. I am seeing a psychologist. I’m doing relapse prevention. I will also be doing a parenting program. Thank you for everyone’s comments. I won’t be having another baby

I'm so happy to hear that.


In these situations, I like to put up a link for anyone who might be reading with similar issues.

https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/dialectical-behaviour-therapy-dbt


My sincere best wishes.

Thank you for the information about dbt and my borderline personality disorder. It has helped a lot

ashleygroizard

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It must be so hard being separated from Blake. From what you have said a agree with others that you are not in the right mental space to have another child, as pregnancy, birth and dealing with a baby are very taxing on our mental health. Having another could easily result in you losing custody with both and that would be worse than where you are currently at. Also, having another child will not ease the pain of losing custody of Blake. Nothing will take away that pain.

Good luck with your journey forward. I hope you and your partner reach a point where Blake is returned to you.

It’s horrible being without Blake and for a good couple of years it made my mental health worse being separated from Blake. My mental health is better now then it has been in over 20 years. I don’t think I ever said I’m mentally unwell now. I was but not now. I have decided not to have another baby due to people’s comments. But I did not say I’m not in the right mental space to have another baby. Maybe a year to 20 years ago I wasn’t. But my mental health is better than ever. Maybe I should have not posted a question like I did. I was never trying to have another child to ease the pain that’s why it’s 4 and a half years later and I still haven’t had a child

Lillymoo01

ashleygroizard wrote: »

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It must be so hard being separated from Blake. From what you have said a agree with others that you are not in the right mental space to have another child, as pregnancy, birth and dealing with a baby are very taxing on our mental health. Having another could easily result in you losing custody with both and that would be worse than where you are currently at. Also, having another child will not ease the pain of losing custody of Blake. Nothing will take away that pain.

Good luck with your journey forward. I hope you and your partner reach a point where Blake is returned to you.

It’s horrible being without Blake and for a good couple of years it made my mental health worse being separated from Blake. My mental health is better now then it has been in over 20 years. I don’t think I ever said I’m mentally unwell now. I was but not now. I have decided not to have another baby due to people’s comments. But I did not say I’m not in the right mental space to have another baby. Maybe a year to 20 years ago I wasn’t. But my mental health is better than ever. Maybe I should have not posted a question like I did. I was never trying to have another child to ease the pain that’s why it’s 4 and a half years later and I still haven’t had a child

It is great that your mental health has improved so much and I am sorry that I upset you with my comments but there are things you have said that tell me you are not quite ready for the demands of another child. I may be reading this incorrectly but it appears that you are more worried about weight gain than you are the safety of a child growing within you and that concerns me. I am also concerned that you have not reached a point of regaining custody of Blake. You will be under the spotlight and scrutinised closely if you have another child and this alone increases the risks of losing custody. No parent is perfect. We all make mistakes. It is just that most of those mistakes will be unknown to others because the attention is not on us to begin with.

I truly do wish you the best for a more positive future, where a happy family is achieved.

sugaraddict4321

ashleygroizard wrote: »

...Maybe I should have not posted a question like I did. I was never trying to have another child to ease the pain that’s why it’s 4 and a half years later and I still haven’t had a child

There is nothing wrong with reaching out to others for advice, so long as you remember that most of us are not doctors and health professionals. It's important to follow the advice of your medical and psychological teams.

All we can do is offer suggestions based on our own experiences, and encouragement that you continue to get better. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of another person.

I sometimes have to be reminded of this, so I like this image as a reminder:



Wishing you the best. :flowerforyou:

snickerscharlie

ashleygroizard wrote: »

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It must be so hard being separated from Blake. From what you have said a agree with others that you are not in the right mental space to have another child, as pregnancy, birth and dealing with a baby are very taxing on our mental health. Having another could easily result in you losing custody with both and that would be worse than where you are currently at. Also, having another child will not ease the pain of losing custody of Blake. Nothing will take away that pain.

Good luck with your journey forward. I hope you and your partner reach a point where Blake is returned to you.

It’s horrible being without Blake and for a good couple of years it made my mental health worse being separated from Blake. My mental health is better now then it has been in over 20 years. I don’t think I ever said I’m mentally unwell now. I was but not now. I have decided not to have another baby due to people’s comments. But I did not say I’m not in the right mental space to have another baby. Maybe a year to 20 years ago I wasn’t. But my mental health is better than ever. Maybe I should have not posted a question like I did. I was never trying to have another child to ease the pain that’s why it’s 4 and a half years later and I still haven’t had a child

I wish you nothing but happiness and wellness in the future. I think your decision to postpone having a baby for now is a wise one. Take care of yourself first.

How old is Blake now? Do you have any supervised visitations?

ashleygroizard

Id like to say thank you each and everyone of you commenting. I appreciate everyone’s opinions. Have a good day everyone.

ashleygroizard

My question should of been different like how not to gain more weight then a normal weight gain during pregnancy. Sorry everyone I realise it’s normal to gain weight during pregnancy I just didn’t want to gain more then a normal weight gain.