Lost Twins- what next

Ddsb11

I suppose focus on my health, do something that makes me feel good, strong, proud? What do you do when you break down? At this point I feel like I can take the road of self sabotage or self improvement... but my mind is so anxious I feel I must do something. And I don’t want to hurt anymore. How do you best move on from trauma?

apullum

Are you seeing a therapist or counselor? If not, have you considered seeing one? Grief is absolutely normal and doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, but a trained mental health professional can still help.

Lillymoo01

I've buried two children. After the second I took the road of self improvement. I decided that if I was physically well it would help emotionally. Exercise has really helped my mental health too. I'd strongly recommend therapy also, whether it be a support group or individual counselling. Family and friends are great but they really do not understand. There is no way of understanding unless you have been there

Also, you learn to live with the trauma rather than move on.

gilbertsl

I’m so sorry you lost your twins. How heartbreaking. I had a stillborn baby two years ago and I’m still healing from that. It’s a long journey and don’t be hard on yourself. I liked the book option B and it helped me frame the loss as a catalyst for positive transformation in my life even though the loss itself isn’t positive. It helped me make meaning of it. Counselling was the major help for me as well as journaling. I hope you find something thT works for you

Mslmesq

Hugs. I’m so sorry. Please be gentle with yourself.

Competeballpythons

So sorry 😢

Ddsb11

Thank you, and I’m sorry for those who have experienced something similar. I’m always amazed how people manage to continue to do great things after devistation. I can’t help but want to immerse myself in goals and work now. Counseling is a great recommendation... I might look into that as well.

Sharon_C

I'm so sorry for your loss. For me the gym is my reprieve and where I go when life goes downhill. Many times I've been lifting weights with tears going down my cheeks.

I also second the counseling option. It helps to talk about it.

ruqayyahsmum

So sorry for your loss hunni xx
After I lost my first baby I went to counseling.
I was self harming without realising I was doing it
What really helped was taking up running, it gave me time alone, time without people telling me it was god's wish and for the best. Time for me to just breathe and quieten my mind

I also planted a rosebush for my baby, somewhere to go and think. I actually fell pregnant the day I planted it.

mummy_h

Im so sorry for your loss x

scrappinkar

I really don't know what to say, but I'm so very sorry to you and to any others that have suffered the same loss.

CheyanaLee

I lost my son (stillbirth) a few years ago and at the time I chose self sabotage. The more I sabotaged myself the worse I would feel. It was a horrible cycle but it's what I thought at the time I needed to cope. I wish I would have sought counseling sooner. When I finally did it was amazing. All the hurt and anger had a outlet. It was nice to talk to someone who just listened. Let me be angry let me just cry let me say all things I needed/ wanted to say. It made it easier for me to focus on other things without the hurt completely taking over.

I am truly sorry for your loss.