I want to give up so bad (VENTING)
Replies
-
Silkysausage wrote: »Body dysmorphia is a distorted view of oneself where only you can see your 'flaws'. When an obsession with body image takes over everyday life then it needs to be addressed and feelings explored as to the root cause.
This could be in the form of counseling with a professional and can be sought through a doctor. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBD) can help us change these patterns from looking at situations one way and help us to view them in a more rounded manner.
I agree that OP probably has a bit of body dysmorphia going on.
In those pics, I'm seeing an hourglass, not apple. But...what shape our body looks like at one weight may not reflect our true shape at another. I was overweight all through my childhood and only kept from being obese by playing sports. Every indication at these weights, which ballooned when I graduated high school after no longer playing basketball and then getting a horrible case of mono, was that I was an hourglass shape. Years of failed partial weightloss, which I kept regaining, passed. Finally, I was able to lose and keep losing. What was uncovered was a nasty shock.
I'm a frickin' pear! All my glorious chestiness is gone!
I'm the president of the Itty Bitty *kitten* Committee.
Wouldn't give back my fitness and being a healthy weight for the world, and though I really do miss being able to fill out a sexy blouse, I don't miss my bewbs enough to gain the weight back. Got plenty of junk in that trunk, tho.
You have to love yourself. It is worth it to lose the weight regardless. I'm pretty sure a stork plucked me off Paradise Island and dropped me off with my parents. I'm probably Wonder Woman's cousin. I could have been a lineman with these shoulders. Tall, broad shoulders, wide hips, thighs of thunder, and chest flat as a pancake. Whatever. I'm strong from strength training and can kick butt. I can keep up with my teens playing soccer. Compared with my former life as an obese Amazon, I'll keep my itty bitties.
You might find what is revealed to be different that your current shape, but what is, is. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Surgery won't make you healthy or keep the weight off. Surgery will not make you love yourself or make you a happy person. That comes from within, not from what you look like. The lessons learned and habits formed throughout the weightloss journey are invaluable and will serve you long term. After that, if you can't manage to come to terms with your shape, then surgery might be something to consider. But you are getting ahead of yourself here, OP. Get there first, and you may find things look differently from that new place. It's all about perspective anyway.5 -
JanetReyna wrote: »JanetReyna wrote: »You can change it to an extent depending on genetics with muscle building but it can take years and years. Surgery isn't cheap, it comes with very significant risks and in the end you may not look the way you want anyhow. It might help to talk to someone if you can if these feelings are starting to take over your life.
I have a doubt, how can you know so much about genetics. I’m not asking you personally just like in general, how do people know how their muscle will built up and how long it will take with “genetics”. My mom and dad have a different body shape and in their days they were skinny but now they’ve gained so much weight. So how will I know how much or to what extent I can add muscle to my hips since my grandma, aunt, they are all built differently. It’s confusing.
You don't. My point is what kind of build you have even with muscle will depend on genetics. The only way to know is to do it.
So how my mom or dad can built muscle depends on how I can built it too? @saradelsa
Maybe but what happens to you can be different, genetics is not that simple.
Eat in a deficit. Keep running Strong Curves. Get adequate protein. Reassess as you get closer to goal.3 -
Hating your body is an awful place to be!
And you're not alone in sharing that space, many of us can identify with that at one time or another. I'd ask yourself why you have these judgements that your body shape is the "worst" one and why you really want to change it beyond goals of getting healthy and strong. Why the extreme of surgery--what will be different about your life post-surgery that you can't achieve with a healthy and strong body? Why strive for that particular aesthetic? Where does that come from? From what you see on social media? Comments from friends and partners?
Too often, women are shown ideals that are genetically unachievable for most of us--we just weren't born that way, and yet, somehow, we can be made to feel that something is wrong with us because we don't have a thigh gap or bikini bridge. Those are just physical traits not all of us have. We're all different and looking at why you don't want to accept your body shape (healthy weight or not) is probably a good first step to take on your road to healthy.
Please take care of yourself!2 -
I actually disagree with this. I think you absolutely can change your body shape through working out and diet. I think I have changed my body shape with working out. Booty is the easiest thing to get bigger at the gym for me.JanetReyna wrote: »lleeann2001 wrote: »JanetReyna wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Sometimes I have to remember than my brain is an organ and sometimes I need to stop attacking it and instead encourage it (i.e. encouraging the "self"). Taking care of yourself is a big part of losing weight, and it does take a long, long time. I feel like I only have the patience required if I encourage myself and get my success "high" from practicing good habits rather than focusing on the results that are caused by those good habits. I think a good friend would say, "you can do it, how can I help?" rather than say "your body sucks, you don't lose in the right places, why are you like this?". You have to live with yourself 24/7, and treating yourself as a friend rather than the enemy is a lot easier going. A good friend would not let you give up, either, so don't give up!
I understand, but I feel uncomfortable and unhappy with my body and that is why i am looking for a change. There’s just so many steps and so many rules and I’m tired of waisting my time. I’m so confused on how to do this to reach my physique goals.
What would YOU like to do. Would you LIKE to have plastic surgery? Is that the sort of CHANGE you are looking for?
Lee
I wanna feel confident. And I really want more hips, the only way to that is surgery since we can’t change our body shape naturally.
@lleeann2001
1 -
I read an article that women only can gain 1/2-1 pound of muscle a month. In 12 months, that really changes our shape. I can’t remember the source or how reputable it was.1
-
I looked at your pics and really don’t think you are an apple shape. Maybe bust out a measuring tape and give yourself a fair evaluation?1
-
JanetReyna wrote: »You can change it to an extent depending on genetics with muscle building but it can take years and years. Surgery isn't cheap, it comes with very significant risks and in the end you may not look the way you want anyhow. It might help to talk to someone if you can if these feelings are starting to take over your life.
I have a doubt, how can you know so much about genetics. I’m not asking you personally just like in general, how do people know how their muscle will built up and how long it will take with “genetics”. My mom and dad have a different body shape and in their days they were skinny but now they’ve gained so much weight. So how will I know how much or to what extent I can add muscle to my hips since my grandma, aunt, they are all built differently. It’s confusing.
You don't. My point is what kind of build you have even with muscle will depend on genetics. The only way to know is to do it.
Ohhhhhhhh, gotcha! Intersting to know that.0 -
CherokeeTopaz wrote: »JanetReyna wrote: »lleeann2001 wrote: »JanetReyna wrote: »RelCanonical wrote: »Sometimes I have to remember than my brain is an organ and sometimes I need to stop attacking it and instead encourage it (i.e. encouraging the "self"). Taking care of yourself is a big part of losing weight, and it does take a long, long time. I feel like I only have the patience required if I encourage myself and get my success "high" from practicing good habits rather than focusing on the results that are caused by those good habits. I think a good friend would say, "you can do it, how can I help?" rather than say "your body sucks, you don't lose in the right places, why are you like this?". You have to live with yourself 24/7, and treating yourself as a friend rather than the enemy is a lot easier going. A good friend would not let you give up, either, so don't give up!
I understand, but I feel uncomfortable and unhappy with my body and that is why i am looking for a change. There’s just so many steps and so many rules and I’m tired of waisting my time. I’m so confused on how to do this to reach my physique goals.
What would YOU like to do. Would you LIKE to have plastic surgery? Is that the sort of CHANGE you are looking for?
Lee
I wanna feel confident. And I really want more hips, the only way to that is surgery since we can’t change our body shape naturally.
@lleeann2001
Do weighted squats and you will bulk up your bottom half.. surgery would only be a temporary fix at best if they relocate fat.. and introducing a foreign substance to your body can be dangerous. I'd try weights first. Eat to maintain weight and work on building up your bottom.. thighs and calves. Good luck.
I really want to girl, I have skinny flabby legs which I dislike so much, hopefully all of this will do good and I can get thicker
Thanks for the advice! 0 -
Silkysausage wrote: »Body dysmorphia is a distorted view of oneself where only you can see your 'flaws'. When an obsession with body image takes over everyday life then it needs to be addressed and feelings explored as to the root cause.
This could be in the form of counseling with a professional and can be sought through a doctor. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBD) can help us change these patterns from looking at situations one way and help us to view them in a more rounded manner.
I have already gone with a therapist and it does help, I might go back in with her because I too am aware I might have a disorder since my body affects everything in my life.
Intimacy, Cloths, Confidence, Self-esteem.
It is exhausting I swear. Thank you
0 -
First off let me say you are absolutely gorgeous. You stress over something that many people simply lack and that's beauty. You may not see it but you forget that even though you are very pretty on the outside, you also likely have a lot of inner beauty as well.
Having said this, we are all different and all come in various shapes and sizes. You talk about wanting to change your shape but accordingly it doesn't appear that you are willing to work hard enough to make it happen.
Changing the way you look physically takes determination and effort. Clearly from your 18 year old pics you have a lot to offer and it is possible to get to where you want to be. Just don't give up. These things take time but fortunately for you, age is still on your side. Being as young as you are is half the battle. Try body shaping when you are in your 40's or 50's!!!
My advice is to try exercises (along with calorie deficit) that work all the muscle groups. Weight/resistance training is the key to losing fat and toning muscle. Cardio is great for overall health but in terms of body shaping you need more resistance training. Also remember to up your protein and reduce your carbs to do this more efficiently.
And if you can, start swimming. Swimming is great exercise for toning the body because it works muscles you thought you never had. I realize getting into a bathing suit is something you likely frown upon but believe me when I say you won't regret swimming after you have doe it long enough!
@Dilvish - Goshhh! Thank you so so much girl, I feel I'm running out of time since I am 24 years old already, but 0 kids LOL. I love weight training and hopefully later on I can start feeling better and hopefully seeing my body shape change as I lose all this extra fat I have in my upper body. Thank you for your kind words, they really help! GOD BLESS YOU!!0 -
JanetReyna wrote: »Silkysausage wrote: »Body dysmorphia is a distorted view of oneself where only you can see your 'flaws'. When an obsession with body image takes over everyday life then it needs to be addressed and feelings explored as to the root cause.
This could be in the form of counseling with a professional and can be sought through a doctor. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBD) can help us change these patterns from looking at situations one way and help us to view them in a more rounded manner.
I have already gone with a therapist and it does help, I might go back in with her because I too am aware I might have a disorder since my body affects everything in my life.
Intimacy, Cloths, Confidence, Self-esteem.
It is exhausting I swear. Thank you
Glad you're open to seeing a therapist. It has helped me a lot as well, although it took a while before the therapy started settling in.1 -
Kathryn247 wrote: »Maybe work on appreciating what your body is good at. It WORKS, right? It gets you out of bed every day, it takes you wherever you need to go. It gets you dressed, it feeds you, it washes you, it takes you out to socialize with your friends and shop and whatever else you do with your day. It's a friggin' BLESSING.
You (apparently) haven't lost an arm, or developed debilitating arthritis, or any of the other millions of uncontrollable things that can go wrong with the human body. You are SO lucky to have a properly-functioning body. Maybe start with gratitude for that.
A little top-heavy, maybe? No biggie, my body took me to Starbuck's today, I love it anyway.
@Kathryn247 : Great point, thank you girl.0 -
baconslave wrote: »Silkysausage wrote: »Body dysmorphia is a distorted view of oneself where only you can see your 'flaws'. When an obsession with body image takes over everyday life then it needs to be addressed and feelings explored as to the root cause.
This could be in the form of counseling with a professional and can be sought through a doctor. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBD) can help us change these patterns from looking at situations one way and help us to view them in a more rounded manner.
I agree that OP probably has a bit of body dysmorphia going on.
In those pics, I'm seeing an hourglass, not apple. But...what shape our body looks like at one weight may not reflect our true shape at another. I was overweight all through my childhood and only kept from being obese by playing sports. Every indication at these weights, which ballooned when I graduated high school after no longer playing basketball and then getting a horrible case of mono, was that I was an hourglass shape. Years of failed partial weightloss, which I kept regaining, passed. Finally, I was able to lose and keep losing. What was uncovered was a nasty shock.
I'm a frickin' pear! All my glorious chestiness is gone!
I'm the president of the Itty Bitty *kitten* Committee.
Wouldn't give back my fitness and being a healthy weight for the world, and though I really do miss being able to fill out a sexy blouse, I don't miss my bewbs enough to gain the weight back. Got plenty of junk in that trunk, tho.
You have to love yourself. It is worth it to lose the weight regardless. I'm pretty sure a stork plucked me off Paradise Island and dropped me off with my parents. I'm probably Wonder Woman's cousin. I could have been a lineman with these shoulders. Tall, broad shoulders, wide hips, thighs of thunder, and chest flat as a pancake. Whatever. I'm strong from strength training and can kick butt. I can keep up with my teens playing soccer. Compared with my former life as an obese Amazon, I'll keep my itty bitties.
You might find what is revealed to be different that your current shape, but what is, is. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. Surgery won't make you healthy or keep the weight off. Surgery will not make you love yourself or make you a happy person. That comes from within, not from what you look like. The lessons learned and habits formed throughout the weightloss journey are invaluable and will serve you long term. After that, if you can't manage to come to terms with your shape, then surgery might be something to consider. But you are getting ahead of yourself here, OP. Get there first, and you may find things look differently from that new place. It's all about perspective anyway.
@baconslave - This is how I currently look lifting up my shirt, It is just really really hard to feel comfortable with my body. I know surgery is not the best option, I will take your advice girl, I really want to give it my all and completely change my body composition with time, I will post a picture and you will immediately see I am no where close to an hourglass shape. Take a look and tell me what you honestly think.
0 -
Hating your body is an awful place to be! And you're not alone in sharing that space, many of us can identify with that at one time or another. I'd ask yourself why you have these judgements that your body shape is the "worst" one and why you really want to change it beyond goals of getting healthy and strong. Why the extreme of surgery--what will be different about your life post-surgery that you can't achieve with a healthy and strong body? Why strive for that particular aesthetic? Where does that come from? From what you see on social media? Comments from friends and partners?
Too often, women are shown ideals that are genetically unachievable for most of us--we just weren't born that way, and yet, somehow, we can be made to feel that something is wrong with us because we don't have a thigh gap or bikini bridge. Those are just physical traits not all of us have. We're all different and looking at why you don't want to accept your body shape (healthy weight or not) is probably a good first step to take on your road to healthy.
Please take care of yourself!
@Psychgrrl
I agree girl, it is a terrible place to be at. I feel mentally drained by worrying too much about my body but aghhhhh I just wish my body looked so much better than how it does. I just want to have more hips and a curvier appearance.
My body just looks horrible and I wish I can look curvier over time.
Thank you for your kind words.0 -
im_hopeful wrote: »Honestly, looking at your pictures, you look more like an hourglass figure to me. Either way, I agree with everyone else who is saying you need to learn to love yourself. I have suffered with the same problem (stinkin' thinkin') even within the last couple of weeks! Try the self help, meditation, and talking to a professional. I hope it all works out for you. You are beautiful and have a long life ahead of you to work on your health as a lifestyle.
I don't really know what shape I truly am.
Take a look at this picture and tell me what you think.
@im_hopeful0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.9K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 428 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153.1K Motivation and Support
- 8.1K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 15 News and Announcements
- 1.2K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions