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It's a JOKE

corrarjo
corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
edited December 20 in Fun and Games
The Bear and the Rabbit are side by side, shiten in the woods. The Bear says to the Rabbit, "Do you have a problem with shite sticking to your fur?". The Rabbit says, "No. Not at all." So the Bear picked up the Rabbit, and wiped his ars with him.



Tell me a joke.

Replies

  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    • To get to the other side
    .

    Why did the turkey cross the road?
    • To prove he wasn't a chicken
    .
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    What's silent and smells like a carrot.

    A bunny fart.
  • _bombshell2be_
    _bombshell2be_ Posts: 39 Member
    I just came go read the comments because I have no jokes! Lol
  • Unknown
    edited March 2019
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  • Unknown
    edited March 2019
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  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    An Irishman walks into a bar and orders three beers. The bartender gives him a strange look, but serves him his drinks. The Irishman takes them to a booth, clinks them together, and drinks them all.

    He then goes back to the bartender and orders another three beers, which he proceeds to drink in the same fashion.

    On his third round, the bartender can't help but ask him "excuse me sir, I couldn't help but notice that your order your drinks in threes, if you don't mind telling me, I was wondering why that is"

    The Irishman grins and says "Well, I just moved here from me hometown. When me and me two best mates split ways, we agreed that we'd always have a drink for each other when we went out, so that we always drink together." The bartender nods understandingly, and serves him his drinks.

    The Irishman keeps up this routine, coming to the bar at least twice a week and ordering three drinks at a time.

    One day the Irishman walks in, solemnly makes his way to bar, and orders two beers. The patrons and the bartender all see this, and they assume that something terrible has happened to one of his friends. However, they don't want to disturb him in his time of grief, so they refrain from asking him anything.

    When he goes to order his second round, the bartender can't help but remark "I'm so sorry for your loss". The Irishman looks up and says "Me loss!? What in tarnation are ye talking aboot?"

    The bartender says "Well when you bought two drinks, I assumed that one of your friends had passed"

    The Irishman laughs and says "No, nothing of the sort. I gave up drinking for Lent is all".
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    @_bombshell2be_ I'm sure you're acquainted with somebody that knows a joke. When you find 'em, come back an tell us the joke.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says "Holy mackerel, I've never seen a weasel in here before. What do you want?".

    "Pop" goes the weasel.
  • Unknown
    edited March 2019
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  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    A big old fat guy gets out of the shower at the YMCA. His friend looks at him and says, "Man, when's the last time ya' seen your wick?". The fat guy looks done and says, "It's been a loooong time." So the friend asks, "Well, why don't you diet?". To which the fat guy replies, "Why? What color is it now?".
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    What did the snail say while riding on the turtle's back?

    WEEEEEEEE!
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    edited March 2019
    How do you tell if you're coming or going?

    If you're going, you gotta to wipe your ars.

    If you're coming, you gotta to wipe everything else!
  • Unknown
    edited March 2019
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  • Unknown
    edited March 2019
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  • BellaB1363
    BellaB1363 Posts: 249 Member
    What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    A good start.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    Why didn’t the Teddy Bear want desert”

    Because he was “stuffed”.
  • activities1
    activities1 Posts: 3,475 Member
    Corny alert!!!!

    What’s a pirates favorite letter in the alphabet?

    Ahhh you would think it’s the rrrrr but it’s actually the c (sea)
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    A priest, a rabbi and a imam walk into a bar.

    They have a pleasant time discussing a variety of topics because they are friends.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    Corny alert!!!!

    @activities1, Thanks for the heads up!

    I should have known that, since the best part of being in the Navy was going to sea.
  • BellaB1363
    BellaB1363 Posts: 249 Member
    Duck walks into a bar, orders a beer. Bartender says "How are you paying?" The duck replies, "Put it on my bill."
  • debrakgoogins
    debrakgoogins Posts: 2,033 Member
    Why can't Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

    Everytime she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    What did one eye say to the other eye?

    Between the two of us, something smells.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    If your nose runs and your feet smell, you're built upside down.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

    The man replied “I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and saying out late.”

    The officer then asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

    The man replied, “That would be my wife.”
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    When is a door not a door?

    When it's ajar.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    Sorry, I'll leave now :(


    :p
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    What's the worst thing on a woman?

    A drunken Irishman.
  • corrarjo
    corrarjo Posts: 1,157 Member
    Why doesn't Trump wear glasses?

    Because he has 2020.
This discussion has been closed.