Unsupportive Sister

TexasTallchick

Every time I mention MFP my sister rolls her eyes. She said it’s ‘junk science.’ She’s never used it in her life. She’s losing weight by eating very little and walking 20K steps a day and gets mad when I don’t want to eat something because I don’t know the macros. I moved to live by her after I lost my husband and it sucks that she can’t be supportive. I’ve been losing steadily since I started using it again. How do you handle someone close who isn’t supportive? She wants me to lose weight, so I don’t understand why she’s being this way.

TavistockToad

Stop talking about your diet/weight loss with your sister

MikePTY

Well you don't need to know the macros of something for successful weight loss, but that seems really secondary to the larger issue.

I'm confused what she thinks in the junk science? Calories in vs calories out is the only way a person loses weight. If your sister is eating very little and walking 20k steps a day, she is also doing calories in vs calories out, although likely an extreme and unhealthy version of it. She's just not tracking her calories.

It sucks that she's not supportive, but I would just try not to talk to her about the MFP aspect of it. Just keep her updated on your progress with weight loss, but not the specific of calorie counting.

Gisel2015

Don't mention MFP, don't talk about calories, macros or diet. If you refuse to eat something that your sister offers to you, just say "no thank you," and leave at that. Don't offer any other explanation.

It may be hard at the beginning but you will get used to and she will eventually do too (hopefully). If your sister brings diet or weight into the conversation just change the subject.

longkathleenann9291

Kinda in the same situation. My sister, brother, and SIL are all trying to lose weight through various methods (WW, Optiva, Slim for Life) all of which cost $$$. I’m just using MFP to help me with CICO. When we are all together all they want to do is talk about how wonderful their program is. I tried one time to talk about MFP but got shut down. Only took once for me to learn to keep my mouth shut.

jennifer_417

Don't bring it up. Let the results speak for themselves.

Fflpnari

I have kept my weight loss a secret from everyone. it actually makes it easier doing it by yourself. People get really mean and judgmental with trying to lose weight and get healthier.

good luck on your journey

Candy_Mountains

Sounds like jealousy. She's working way too hard for her goal, which in the end isn't sustainable. Keep doing what you're doing and don't listen to naysayers, even if they are family

Silkysausage

Don't worry about what she thinks, let her do it her own way. Some people will never see reason and you'll be driving yourselves apart if you both carry on.

As Tavistock said above, refrain from diet discussion and you'll have a happier relationship.

missysippy930

Tell her she’s losing weight the same way you are, “eating less calories than her body burns.” No matter what it’s called, or how it’s packaged, that’s the way weight is lost. You can pay money and have someone tell you what to eat, or you can learn to do it yourself.

cmriverside

Weight loss and "diet" are two of those things that are best not discussed if you have the mindset of conversion, unless you like conflict.

It's a lot like religion and politics in that way.

I avoid contentious topics with family. It's just easier and this one isn't something that needs a lot of discussion. Your sis is entitled to her opinion, so you can agree to disagree. I think the expectation of "support" may be a reach in this case. You two disagree. That's okay.

Machka9

TavistockToad wrote: »

Stop talking about your diet/weight loss with your sister

jennifer_417 wrote: »

Don't bring it up. Let the results speak for themselves.

These!

Don't talk about it ... just do it.


And if you're an adult, you can choose what you want to eat or not eat. I don't like mushrooms so I choose not to eat them. My husband doesn't like peas so he chooses not to eat them. It's all OK.

88olds

Maybe find another way to be with your sister. I found weight loss to be a solitary pursuit.

And it’s just a topic where it seems everyone, I mean everyone, has opinions. And stand ready to share those opinions, often stated in terms of what you should do.

thanos5

how is counting calories junk science? it's just math. whatever. this is exactly why i don't reveal any details to people.

suzannesimmons1

TavistockToad wrote: »

Stop talking about your diet/weight loss with your sister

This. To be fair she may not give a hoot.

kbmnurse1

STOP talking about it. Pretty simple.

RelCanonical

You don't need her. I had to stop talking to my mom about weight loss, and she was very supportive in the past, because my aunt keeps trying to get her into fad diets and she's starting to buy into it because she's getting frustrated. I couldn't take it anymore after she said "I'll try what you do if you manage to keep it off." Like, I know she didn't mean to say that she expected me to fail, but it just tipped me off that I need to stop talking about it with her because I'm not going to get what I want out of the conversation.

tulips_and_tea

mgobluetx wrote: »

Every time I mention MFP my sister rolls her eyes. She said it’s ‘junk science.’ She’s never used it in her life. She’s losing weight by eating very little and walking 20K steps a day and gets mad when I don’t want to eat something because I don’t know the macros. I moved to live by her after I lost my husband and it sucks that she can’t be supportive. I’ve been losing steadily since I started using it again. How do you handle someone close who isn’t supportive? She wants me to lose weight, so I don’t understand why she’s being this way.

Well, this isn't sustainable so when this back fires on her she may be more open to counting calories on MFP but until then she'll just have to figure it out herself.

shetland

I just wanted to add that I am so sorry for the loss of your husband

MikePTY

mgobluetx wrote: »

Every time I mention MFP my sister rolls her eyes. She said it’s ‘junk science.’ She’s never used it in her life. She’s losing weight by eating very little and walking 20K steps a day and gets mad when I don’t want to eat something because I don’t know the macros. I moved to live by her after I lost my husband and it sucks that she can’t be supportive. I’ve been losing steadily since I started using it again. How do you handle someone close who isn’t supportive? She wants me to lose weight, so I don’t understand why she’s being this way.

I keep coming back to this line in your post. Can you explain a little more about what you mean by this? Are you saying that you will refuse to eat anything unless you know the exact macros ahead of time? That isn't necessary for weight loss and may be a bit obsessive. Is it possible that this is what she is objecting to as "junk science" and not calorie counting/using MFP in general?

We are only hearing one side of the story here, and it's possible your sister may have another perspective that is coming at it from what she thinks is your best interest. Have you two ever tried to talk at length about this?

theowlbox

is she a sister who thinks she knows everything? if she is used to bossing you around, it won't be just mfp she is unsupportive about.

i moved near a sister then realized she could not hold back on being a bossy nutbar. i moved away and it has really helped me to have a life where i am not put in my little sister role at 40 and where we can have a healthy relationship. it was because of the distance that i could tell her things and change how we interact.
is it possible that she is more protective of you since your husband's death and she doesn't know about mfp but is being a know it all?

if she is a good sister, she may just be being crappy with good intentions. if she is a bad sister escape immediately and snip her out like cancer.

csplatt

TavistockToad wrote: »

Stop talking about your diet/weight loss with your sister

This. Some people are sensitive about other people talking about weight and fitness and successes. They don't know how to respond so they answer in a semi-negative way, maybe in hopes you'll stop bringing it up. I'd just find something else to talk about and get validation, or that kind of conversation, elsewhere.

Also, I find that you insisting knowing Macros sounds a little overboard. I eyeball my macros totals at the end of the day, but it's really just the calories that I focus on. Maybe you're overwhelming her by trying to hit your macros exactly?

stutba

if she is a good sister, she may just be being crappy with good intentions. if she is a bad sister escape immediately and snip her out like cancer. [/quote]

Whoa that last line is terrible. I lost my sister to cancer. She passed at 46 yrs young. We fought, we loved. I would give ten yrs of my live to spend one more with her.

Op, I feel bad your not getting the support on your weight loss from her, but this is temporary. If you need, have a heart to heart talk. I think I,d just let it be and find other ways to be awesome 👯❤️❤️❤️

777Gemma888

TavistockToad wrote: »

Stop talking about your diet/weight loss with your sister

⬆This.