Other people's kids
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If I were single I don’t know if I would want to date a man without children tbh. If I did, he would definitely have to be someone special. I feel a man without children wouldn’t be able to understand the complexities of parenting. Plus, I wouldn’t want more children. I wouldn’t want to be in a situation in which I fall in love with someone and later find out he suddenly wanted children of his own. Personally, I feel a relationship that starts off with a level playing field has a better chance of succeeding.3
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On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.6 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD
But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself
It would be a deal breaker.
I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝
He isn't, but I am 😉lemme sliiiddddeee in your dm! 😏😜
😂
But you just told me you are an annoying kid
Don't lie, you like it 😏😂1 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.3 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
I will see if I can find where she talks about it. I am very inquisitive about these things and you never truly know until you are in the situation, but Dr. Laura knows her stuff so I imagine she has great advice on this2 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
No research to backup what I am about to say, but... people who adopt generally see that child as their own in a way that stepparents may not. I think it is very different when you willingly bring a child into your world through adoption than acquiring on through a mate.6 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
Yeah that's a completely different situation and a completely different decision making process that has nothing to do with inheriting steps by proxy by getting entangled in a romance.
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Tankiscool wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD
But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself It would be a deal breaker.
I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝
He isn't, but I am 😉lemme sliiiddddeee in your dm! 😏😜
😂
But you just told me you are an annoying kid
Don't lie, you like it 😏😂
Depends. Young at heart is cute. Unable to handle household chores and throwing fits is a big nope.1 -
I could only fake it so long.
1 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »I could only fake it so long.
Are you talking about liking his kids or......0 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »Tankiscool wrote: »I can't say, I'm a kid myself xD
But seriously if they annoy me, it's probably the parents parenting skills rather than the kid itself. Very hard to annoy me lol as I'm a pest myself It would be a deal breaker.
I won't ask if your dad is single then 😝
He isn't, but I am 😉lemme sliiiddddeee in your dm! 😏😜
😂
But you just told me you are an annoying kid
Don't lie, you like it 😏😂
Depends. Young at heart is cute. Unable to handle household chores and throwing fits is a big nope.
Young at heart of course! I'm not an animal....now feed me!!! 😣😰😢😂😂😂1 -
Avocado_AS5 wrote: »I could only fake it so long.
Need further explanation. I know not the first time you've heard that from a guy0 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
Yeah that's a completely different situation and a completely different decision making process that has nothing to do with inheriting steps by proxy by getting entangled in a romance.
Not really. I was personally adopted at age 10 by my biological mother's partner. My biological father died when I was a baby. The assertion that someone would have an innate preference for biological children would apply regardless of the legal scenario in place. Why would "step" children be any different than legally adopted children? They still don't share DNA.
At any rate I was just wondering about any actual backup or studies regarding this claim, or if it was just a radio personality doctors opinion.1 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
No research to backup what I am about to say, but... people who adopt generally see that child as their own in a way that stepparents may not. I think it is very different when you willingly bring a child into your world through adoption than acquiring on through a mate.
Yeah my scenario encompasses both. Legally adopted by a father who "acquired" me through his relationship with my mother.
4 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
Yeah that's a completely different situation and a completely different decision making process that has nothing to do with inheriting steps by proxy by getting entangled in a romance.
Not really. I was personally adopted at age 10 by my biological mother's partner. My biological father died when I was a baby. The assertion that someone would have an innate preference for biological children would apply regardless of the legal scenario in place. Why would "step" children be any different than legally adopted children? They still don't share DNA.
At any rate I was just wondering about any actual backup or studies regarding this claim, or if it was just a radio personality doctors opinion.
(Long response, sorry)
Anecdotally I think it's obvious that people prefer their own children. Most people don't even like children, certainly not other peoples'. But they all think their own children are geniuses and darlings and genuinely good hearted. And it's always somebody elses' fault when the kids behave badly. Don't ask me to explain it. I don't have children and never wanted any and probably for these reasons. Like I said, there are some exceptions and your situation may be one.
I was also raised as a step. Not even an official step, as I was raised by my grandmother and her boyfriend from the age of 9 onward.
Anyway, my grandmother's boyfriend didn't love me as a biological father would. He tolerated me. He also treated me really, really well - impeccably actually - despite the fact that he didn't love me as a daughter and it was really okay. He never raised his voice on me, he spent all sorts of money on me, he never bad mouthed me or interfered with the decisions my grandmother made regarding me and my care and feeding. He never butted in and he was always kind and low key and bought me Christmas and birthday presents every year and took me and grandma out to dinner 3 times a week every week.
I loved him to pieces, still do and always will even though he didn't "love" me. He treated me better than any man I ever met in my whole life to this day. I didn't care that he didn't love me, I loved him.
But yeah, I stand by my opinion that people without kids should mate with other people without kids.
I'm sure it was a pain in the butt for my grandmother's boyfriend to tolerate me always tagging along on the dates. Also, grandma never allowed him to sleep over and he never did even once. She also never slept at his apartment. They were born in the early 1900s and had traditional, clearly defined morals when it came to carnal matters. I later realized as an adult that they probably used hotels when they wanted to know each other biblically when I was not home in the afternoons and on weekends when I was at a sleepover or whatever. I don't think it was the best arrangement for my grandmother's boyfriend. He sacrificed a lot to tolerate Grandma's grown daughters and grandkids, but he was hopelessly in love with Grandma until the day he died as a very elderly man so he was willing to put up with it.
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The respect should be mutual
You can grow into loving someone’s kid but if they’re disrespectful it’ll be hard to1 -
5 -
On a serious note, people are biologically programmed to prefer and more favorably treat their own DNA offspring. That doesn't excuse mistreating anyone else's offspring and I'm not suggesting it. But the expectation these days that sex partners should live with other peoples' children (draining their time and resources and patience) and be happy with that arrangement is unrealistic. I'm not saying it never happens that a step parent really loves a step kid or vice versa. But it's pretty rare.
I would avoid a sex partner who already has kids. If you don't have kids, definitely go with someone who also doesn't. I think that's natural and you owe it to yourself. People who already have kids are best suited for each other, blended families and some such.
And you should listen to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on Sirius/XM Stars (channel 109) and get her take on this whole thing because she doesn't mince words. I'd risk a ban just paraphrasing her to give you an idea where she stands on the issue.
Damn - sucks for those of us that were adopted eh ? No love for us. I'd like to see some backup for this claim.
Yeah that's a completely different situation and a completely different decision making process that has nothing to do with inheriting steps by proxy by getting entangled in a romance.
Not really. I was personally adopted at age 10 by my biological mother's partner. My biological father died when I was a baby. The assertion that someone would have an innate preference for biological children would apply regardless of the legal scenario in place. Why would "step" children be any different than legally adopted children? They still don't share DNA.
At any rate I was just wondering about any actual backup or studies regarding this claim, or if it was just a radio personality doctors opinion.
(Long response, sorry)
Anecdotally I think it's obvious that people prefer their own children. Most people don't even like children, certainly not other peoples'. But they all think their own children are geniuses and darlings and genuinely good hearted. And it's always somebody elses' fault when the kids behave badly. Don't ask me to explain it. I don't have children and never wanted any and probably for these reasons. Like I said, there are some exceptions and your situation may be one.
I was also raised as a step. Not even an official step, as I was raised by my grandmother and her boyfriend from the age of 9 onward.
Anyway, my grandmother's boyfriend didn't love me as a biological father would. He tolerated me. He also treated me really, really well - impeccably actually - despite the fact that he didn't love me as a daughter and it was really okay. He never raised his voice on me, he spent all sorts of money on me, he never bad mouthed me or interfered with the decisions my grandmother made regarding me and my care and feeding. He never butted in and he was always kind and low key and bought me Christmas and birthday presents every year and took me and grandma out to dinner 3 times a week every week.
I loved him to pieces, still do and always will even though he didn't "love" me. He treated me better than any man I ever met in my whole life to this day. I didn't care that he didn't love me, I loved him.
But yeah, I stand by my opinion that people without kids should mate with other people without kids.
I'm sure it was a pain in the butt for my grandmother's boyfriend to tolerate me always tagging along on the dates. Also, grandma never allowed him to sleep over and he never did even once. She also never slept at his apartment. They were born in the early 1900s and had traditional, clearly defined morals when it came to carnal matters. I later realized as an adult that they probably used hotels when they wanted to know each other biblically when I was not home in the afternoons and on weekends when I was at a sleepover or whatever. I don't think it was the best arrangement for my grandmother's boyfriend. He sacrificed a lot to tolerate Grandma's grown daughters and grandkids, but he was hopelessly in love with Grandma until the day he died as a very elderly man so he was willing to put up with it.
I had the opposite. With a dead father, and a narcissist mother incapable of loving anyone but herself, my adoptive father was the only parental love I ever had. And he made it very clear that me and my siblings meant the world to him.
So yeah ... I (also anecdotally) challenge the notion that one can't love someone else's children as much as their own. 😁 Which is why I asked for some backup on that premise.3 -
Nope, it’s a dealbreaker3
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