How to handle anxiety when someone else is making your food?

peachvine29

Hi everyone. So as far as my weight loss journey, I have lost about 58 lbs. in the last 2 years, 40 of that being within the last year. I am 5'7'' with a small frame and weight 142 lbs.. I want to weigh around 130 due to the extra fat I'm holding in my midsection, and I'm so happy to be so close.

I recently realized I was cutting my calories too low, trying to keep around 1,200-1,300, and was binge eating every few days. So, I decided to raise it to 1,500 calories at a 0.5 lbs. per week loss. This means I need to track more meticulously, as a lot of the time I do not.

I just moved in with my boyfriend over a month ago. I work full time and attend school full time, as does he. We have opposite schedules. He cooks half the time and I cook the other half. We use a recipe/grocery planner app (plantoeat.com, it's GREAT!) and I plan our meals (because he doesn't care). I use Skinnytaste recipes mainly and I know how many calories are in each dish. Problem is, he is actually in culinary school, but he doesn't really like following recipes. He says usually he just looks at a recipe and just kind of assumes the steps and does them, and doesn't measure a lot. Meanwhile I follow recipes exactly for the most part. The theme here is I am more of the organizer/planner while he is the go with the flow one.

This makes me very anxious. I told him that I need the recipes to be followed because I am watching my calories. But for instance, last night he made Italian meatballs, and made the balls much larger than specified so I had to count all of them and figure out and portion the nine servings he made, which just makes me feel too meticulous lol.

I don't know, I really appreciate him cooking, and he is patient with me and kind. I just get anxiety eating the food he makes because I'm not confident in the calories. Any one else have this problem? I guess I've done everything I can, told him what I need, and I appreciate that he cooks and don't want to cook every meal because I don't have time.

thanos5

yeah, i have that problem as well. as much as i appreciate the desire to cook for me, it's frustrating. but like you said, it seems like you've done all you can. wish i could help more!

puffbrat

The last few pounds are going to come off more slowly anyway. Are you losing weight? If so, then let it go and keep guesstimating as much as you can. You could also change your meals so you have more calories for dinner to buy you a small buffer. When my husband cooks he is on and off about measuring ingredients and will often create larger portions than I would. It used to make me anxious but I greatly appreciate that we share the responsibility of cooking and the anxiety wasn't doing me any good. So I now just know what to generally expect of his cooking, guesstimate and leave myself a few extra calories on those days, and keep my logging meticulous the rest of the time when I have more control.

runnermom419

Looks like you have two options here; one of which you already said you don't want to do.

You can either cook everything yourself so you can be in control or you can learn to relax a little bit and be thankful you have someone who wants to share the responsibility.

88olds

How long has the current system been in place and what have the results been?

There are always going to be calorie counting gray areas. As pointed out, if you don’t like the results at the scale, you can adjust your calories down.

As for the anxiety, if this helps, since we aren’t living in a laboratory, our calculations aren’t really that exact. All our targets and counting are just based on averages. And no one is exactly average. But the system works anyway. It doesn’t have to be laboratory exact to work.

Persistence, problem solving, ability to adjust to changes, willingness to try new things and experiment- those are the things that make for successful weight loss. You have a good track record. Trust yourself a bit.

QueenOfTheSea_83

Either make something for yourself and put it in the fridge for when you get home or talk to him and explain that if he wants o cook for you, it needs to fit in with your current eating plan. If it was me, I would be happy to help my partner .

dolliesdaughter

Is he trying to cut calories\lose weight as well? Easy solution, cook your own food, if eating the food he prepares make you anxious.

peachvine29

Yeah, I am rethinking this all. I am really thankful and happy that he is more than happy to cook for us as well. He's great. He's also lost weight, actually 80 lbs. in the last year which is amazing, he's not tracking but just trying to eat less and move more. He's still trying to lose a little, maybe his last 5-10 lbs. And I've lost about 4 lbs in the last month since living together. I just upped my calories though last week. But honestly now I see that I've really got nothing to worry about.

Thanks everyone

deputy_randolph

Double the amount you cook and freeze half the meals to eat on the days he cooks.

funjen1972

I understand the anxiety! I go to a friend's house for dinner about once per week and watch her smother food in butter and oil. I really can't quantify the amounts, other than it's way more than I typically use. I wouldn't be able to do it if it was 50% of my meals.

IsETHome

Cook together