Can't Trust Yourself

150poundsofme

Hi, So I tell myself what I will and will not eat. But when I go to a friend's house, a buffet or anywhere there is food, old habits are so with me. Once I take the first bite of the forbidden food, I then cannot stop binging on that food plus for the rest of the day/night. Hopefully, I can start frest tomorrow but many times it can take me days/weeks or months to get myself geared up to be on my plan. I go to Overeaters Annonymous (though haven't worked the steps, kinda view it right now like a diet group). There is a person there that when she visits friends and family she brings her own weighed and measured food. I asked her even if the family/friend has protein, vegetables etc. you can eat, you still don't eat it? She said she doesn't eat it. I am thinking, at first I found this very strange, but I really can't trust myself around food. Tonight there was 3 containers of different types of M&M's. Then they did put out a bowl of grapes. I started with the grapes, kept thinking about the M&M's and finally succumed to them, and couldn't stop and then ate everything else there and then after I left had to go to the store and fast food and get more food to eat tonight. I know I have a problem - I am a compulsive overeater and a 40 year yo-yo dieter. Maybe if I brought my own food tonight and keep saying to myself that that is not more food (the food they were serving), maybe that is what I need to not binge eat. I don't know but what I have been doing is clearly not working. I don't think I am "allergic" to sugar because many times I can eat desserts etc. and not overeat/binge. But maybe it's too many exceptions I make to my rules... I never wanted anyone to know I was on a diet so the idea of bringing my food and not being able to eat like everyone else doesn't appeal to me. I should probably try a therapist again. Any thoughts? Thank you.

NovusDies

I am of the opinion that if someone mentions the possibility of a therapist they should see one.

I don't think I can offer any usable advice because my situation is not the same. I don't forbid myself anything because it backfires and makes me want it more. I consider all food allowable but some requires moderation. I am only really triggered to eat large amounts of very specific food items like Reeses PB cups but never so much that I would go to the store for more. I have eaten a really large bag in one sitting though. Now to eat them I go to the store, buy only the amount I am prepared to eat, and then bring them home to enjoy.

At one time I was very all or nothing when it came to weight loss. When I broke a rule I considered the day lost and just ate and ate. Now I don't try for perfection I just try for good enough and it works well for me.

I doubt any of that helps.

150poundsofme

It helps, thank you. I do know I can't keep so many trigger foods in the house. But I can't seem to break the eat 1 "bad" thing and then I am completely off.

apullum

NovusDies wrote: »

I am of the opinion that if someone mentions the possibility of a therapist they should see one.

I agree completely with this statement. If you think a therapist would help you, that in itself is an excellent reason to hire one. No shame at all in seeking out professional help when needed.

aokoye

I third the suggestion of seeing a therapist. That was my thought prior to getting to the last sentence of your first post. Also know that it might take a few tries to find a therapist who is a good fit for you. That's totally normal and isn't a negative reflection on you or the therapist(s).

PAV8888

If you find yourself experiencing the fealling that you can not stop eating or control what and how much you're eating, then looking into some external help might be a very good idea!

However it is, perhaps, worth CONSIDERING whether something else could also be in play.

How many calories are you eating every day? Is your deficit (on paper) more than 25%? Have you made a lot of rules for yourself and placed a whole lot of foods off limits?

It is not unusual for people who apply very large percentage deficits and who apply a number of stringent rules to their eating to experience rebound episodes of over-eating that end up inhibiting their overall progress.

The solution is often to actually eat closer to maintenance and to place LESS restrictions, thus avoiding the compensatory over-eating episodes.

eeanneli

Agree with therapy. It may also be worth looking at how you view foods. Foods are not bad or good they are just different in calorie abd nutrient densities. I won't put any food off limits as then that would be all I want. If I fancy something that is more calories to less nutrition will work out the rest of my day to make it work. I usually find though that I'd rather just be able to est more food than less that has more calories to less nutrition.

fcanad

You should definitely look for a therapist that deals with obsessive behaviors or food problems.
Are you trying to loose weight or get your eating disorder under control? If you are trying to get things under control, you may want to eat at maintenance levels. It’s really hard not to overeat when constantly a bit hungry, never mind anything else you struggle with.

NovusDies

150poundsofme wrote: »

It helps, thank you. I do know I can't keep so many trigger foods in the house. But I can't seem to break the eat 1 "bad" thing and then I am completely off.

I hope you find the help and the tools you need. You deserve to have a good/better relationship with food and to be happy.

daneejela

Have you ever tried to accept yourself exactly where you are at now? And try to build up from there?

For example, instead of saying - I won't eat anything there or I will keep deficit, say, for example, this time I'll enjoy having food there, I'll probably go over my recommended calories, but I'll take it as an exercise and I'll allow myself to eat more then I would usually, but I won't go crazy with binging.

If you do this enough number of times, each time respecting reality but with a will to do a bit better, I think you could find your lost faith in yourself.
We don't trust ourselves because for many years we've been living in two oposite realities. We make promises to ourselves that we don't keep. Self-respect and faith in yourself is something that has to be earned.
Start small, once when your two realities met and merge into one, you'll be unstoppable

150poundsofme

I still have about 60 lbs. to lose plus need to control the compulsive overeating. It is true the totally opposite types of eating I do. I need to realize that if I ate an extra carb, that I didn't blow my whole day. I have had these extreme habits over 40 years. Someone a year and a half ago did help me eat a "normal" dinner which I had never done. It was either a diet dinner or a binge dinner. I have kinda strayed away from that. Thank you all for your responses. I do appreciate it and you all. And this week I will look for a therapist.