Maintaining motivation when you see yourself as overweight even when you’re not

rainydayhappy

Is there anyone else here who sees a very overweight person in the mirror even when they’re not? I always have, even when I was 112 lbs (I’m 5’6) so this was one issue with me putting on weight as even when I put on a large amount there was never that visual impetus to stop as I’d always seen that in the mirror, if that makes any sense.

I was 218 lbs at the start of this year and have lost almost 30 lbs so far. I can see it on the scales and in my clothes and sometimes when I take a photo, but not in the mirror. I get that at this weight I’m still v overweight so not too worried with that aspect right now, but I’m worried that even when I’ve lost lots more and am getting closer to my goal (130 lbs) I’m still going to see that really overweight person and lose motivation.

Anyone else?

Caveman94

What are you doing to lose the weight? Two years ago I decided to get healthy for many reasons. When I say that, I’m talking physically; mentally, and emotionally. I’m 43yo, 5’-10”, and currently 203. When I started this journey I was closer to 230 and over 27% body fat. My low point was 198 and just over 16%.

Go back 2, 3, 5 years ago and the 200lb mark scared me. I’d look at the scale and it bothered me a lot. Now, 200 doesn’t worry me. I’ll admit, when I start seeing 205 I have to sit back reevaluate what I’ve been doing and get on track. I goto the gym (or use my home gym) regularly, I watch what I eat and the quantity.

Now I see the muscle tone in my arms and chest. I know muscle mass weighs more then fat mass. I know I have put 10+ pound of muscle on. I can look at myself now, and even when I’m “up” in weight I can “see” the whole package. I can physically see my size/number on the scale. I don’t dwell that’s it 2lbs from last week, but I’d still done 28 from where I started (physical health). I can “see” the effort I put in (mental health). I know I haven’t given up. I let that aspect override the “oh my god, I put on 2lbs” worry. Combining both parts helps relax and keep moving (emotional health).

I’ve coached athletes for over 20 years and LOVE the mental side of coaching/motivating. If there is anything I can do to help, don’t hesitate to reach out.

rainydayhappy

Thanks Caveman, yes you’re right, perhaps maintaining focus on the parts I *can* see will help.

I’m eating healthily and going to the gym/swimming a few times a week. I do feel loads better and am buying smaller clothes, so objectively I can see I’m getting healthier and smaller, I’m just worried about still seeing ‘obese’ in the mirror again even once I reach a healthy weight.

lunchboxchuck

I have had to take the focus off of looks to keep the weight loss going. I went from the 190s to about 140, and I honestly look a lot worse without clothes. I am focused on health markers like blood pressure, resting heart rate, and how easy running and other exercises are now. I look horrible, but I feel healthier.

Bopo_Amy

Body dysmorphia is difficult and I have struggled with it my whole life. I am in ED recovery and would love to offer you support.

Bopo_Amy

You have to take a different approach to weight loss and food when you suffer from dysmorphia. Here to help if I can.

GeorgiePie88

*raises hand*

I've suffered from body dysmorphia and disordered eating my entire life. Right now I'm going through a particularly difficult time as I have been slowly gaining back the kgs I lost after a really successful weight loss.

I know I'm not medically overweight. But I just feel bigger. It's hard because right now I'm under an insane amount of stress (I am balancing a new full-time job while pursuing a master's degree part-time). There are days where I'm just so, so tired. And because of that, I tend to eat comfort food and move less. I wish I could just be kind to myself and just not care about my weight because I know I'm going through a difficult time. But instead my growing weight gain is already contributing to the already-huge pile of stress I'm under....

Not really sure what to do. But I definitely do feel your pain

88olds

Beware. As a friend used to say in a different context- the eye can fool the brain.

And this- the brain will try to pursue contradictory ideas at the same time. But because it can really go only one direction at a time, we get jerked back and forth minute to minute. Hope that makes sense.

It can be a bad problem. Well, I made it into a bad problem. Telling myself I was fat at 185 lbs opened the door to weighing 285 lbs. It seems crazy to me now, maybe it was. And note, for me it really wasn’t what I saw, it was what I thought. What I needed at 185lbs was fitness, not weight loss.

What I pursue in weight loss is the number on the scale. That’s all I’m going to get. How I look? Separate issue. How I feel? Separate issue. I know there are things I can do at a lower number that I can’t do or are difficult at a higher number. The number has benefits but they are limited.

You have access to counseling or therapy? Consider it. Like I said, your brain will latch onto bad ideas and run wild if you let it. Try to sort this out.

rainydayhappy

Bopo_Amy wrote: »

Body dysmorphia is difficult and I have struggled with it my whole life. I am in ED recovery and would love to offer you support.

Thanks, that’s really appreciated ❤️

rainydayhappy

GeorgiePie88 wrote: »

*raises hand*

I've suffered from body dysmorphia and disordered eating my entire life. Right now I'm going through a particularly difficult time as I have been slowly gaining back the kgs I lost after a really successful weight loss.

I know I'm not medically overweight. But I just feel bigger. It's hard because right now I'm under an insane amount of stress (I am balancing a new full-time job while pursuing a master's degree part-time). There are days where I'm just so, so tired. And because of that, I tend to eat comfort food and move less. I wish I could just be kind to myself and just not care about my weight because I know I'm going through a difficult time. But instead my growing weight gain is already contributing to the already-huge pile of stress I'm under....

Not really sure what to do. But I definitely do feel your pain

Thanks, sorry you’re going through this too xx

rainydayhappy

88olds wrote: »

Beware. As a friend used to say in a different context- the eye can fool the brain.

And this- the brain will try to pursue contradictory ideas at the same time. But because it can really go only one direction at a time, we get jerked back and forth minute to minute. Hope that makes sense.

It can be a bad problem. Well, I made it into a bad problem. Telling myself I was fat at 185 lbs opened the door to weighing 285 lbs. It seems crazy to me now, maybe it was. And note, for me it really wasn’t what I saw, it was what I thought. What I needed at 185lbs was fitness, not weight loss.

What I pursue in weight loss is the number on the scale. That’s all I’m going to get. How I look? Separate issue. How I feel? Separate issue. I know there are things I can do at a lower number that I can’t do or are difficult at a higher number. The number has benefits but they are limited.

You have access to counseling or therapy? Consider it. Like I said, your brain will latch onto bad ideas and run wild if you let it. Try to sort this out.

Thanks, yeah focusing on health and fitness seem to be good goals right now and working at the moment. Difficult to access counselling really, I can’t afford it privately and when I go via the doctor while overweight they just say I’m overweight and need to sort it 🙄