Tips on getting your partner to join the gym

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  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
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    No tips, except to let her make her own decision. Improving her health, through what you interpret as eating better and exercising is up to her. Trying to change any adult, besides yourself, is pointless, and may cause problems. It’s her choice.
  • julesdechaine
    julesdechaine Posts: 138 Member
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    I'm not a fan of any type of equipment except the treadmill and spin cycles, but love activities like basketball, racquetball, swimming, etc. Does your gym offer these amenities? It might be easier to go play a game of hoops than suggesting an hour on the elliptical. Solid workout, you're spending time and having fun together, and she may not feel pressured. But definitely don't pressure her. She has to WANT to be there. My boyfriend and I use the gym as "date" time, since collectively we have nine children between us and have full time careers. We love to be in the pool and then have our meaningful conversations and make plans in the hot tub.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    I don't know of very many stories where people were successful getting fit doing something that they hated. Very few of us have the ability to develop a consistent, long-term habit doing something that we hate.

    Are there activities your wife might enjoy?

    My husband hates running and doing cardio on equipment. But he found that he loves body weight resistance training and taking long walks outside. So his fitness involves those activities.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    mburgess458 wrote: »
    zeejane03 wrote: »
    Lead by example and keep your mouth shut (I've been married 16 years lol). My husband has decided on his own, to make some positive changes to his health, as he's seen me make changes. But, I would never get after him to do what I think he should do-that's just a disaster waiting to happen.

    Seconded.

    I have been married nearly 30 years. My wife avoided exercise like the plague for decades. She finally realized she had been anemic (or almost anemic) for many years. Once she got that under control she found some easy exercise classes she liked... last year she decided to try running and doing harder exercise.

    If the OP's wife has any underlying medical issues that might be making her tired or in pain he could try to help on that end, otherwise just lead by example and don't be a nag.

    Good point. I had crippling fatigue when my anemia was not properly treated. Other deficiencies can cause fatigue as well.

    This may not be relevant to the OP's situation, but might help someone else reading.
  • Danp
    Danp Posts: 1,561 Member
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    If you're really interested in spending more time together then why don't you take up a pastime/activity that she currently enjoys rather than forcing/convincing her to do something you enjoy.
  • tlosal
    tlosal Posts: 7 Member
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    Thanks for all the info guys. Yeah I don't force my wife to do anything she doesn't want to do. I was just wondering how others might have gotten their significant other to become more active and get healthier. My thought process is for us to get into this lifestyle so we can have a happier, longer life. Who doesn't want to live long and healthy? 😅
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    Is your wife unhealthy?
  • dolliesdaughter
    dolliesdaughter Posts: 544 Member
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    She will workout when she wants. Nothing you can say or do, will change that.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
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    My hubby hates the gym, I love it, we do other stuff together like bike rides.
  • etherealanwar
    etherealanwar Posts: 465 Member
    edited March 2019
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    I recently (2 months ish) starting going to the gym to weight lift. While at the beginning I was trying to get my husband to join I realized I was being somewhat demanding and I should not have been trying to force him to go. He told me he will when he feels ready so I have left it at that. There really is no way to get a grown adult to partake in something they are not interested in. Like others have suggested, try finding activities both of you can enjoy together.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    karen8787 wrote: »
    maybe she likes her time away from you while you go to the gym so she tells you she hates so she gets to stay home and you get of her hair for a while

    so true. i loved it when my husband went to the gym. nice hour or so of down time(do all the house chores)
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    tlosal wrote: »
    Thanks for all the info guys. Yeah I don't force my wife to do anything she doesn't want to do. I was just wondering how others might have gotten their significant other to become more active and get healthier. My thought process is for us to get into this lifestyle so we can have a happier, longer life. Who doesn't want to live long and healthy? 😅

    I assumed as much.

    Bottom line that we all pretty much suck at communication and you need to find a better way to do this effectively.

    What you'll likely find is that you are incapable of changing the behavior of anyone other than yourself, so your best course of action is to inspire.

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