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Did you ever

newmeadow
newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Did you ever join an online community chat full of active and rollicking conversations in a loosely moderated or perhaps even unmoderated atmosphere? (Not here. Just sayin'. Somewhere else.)

And in so doing, did you ever choose a male username when you were, in fact, a female? Or female username when you were, in fact, a male?

And if you ever did that, what did it feel like to have people responding to you as if you were the opposite gender?

Did you notice you got more sympathy or less? More attention or less? More careful diplomacy or less? Did you feel free to discuss certain topics you wouldn't normally discuss? Did it foster an increased feeling of respect for your discussion mates or less?

Replies

  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    Okay I did it once. (no no, not here. somewhere else.)

    People thought I was male. I posted a sentiment which was critical of a certain subgroup of men who are routinely praised in a PC kinda way. I got pounced on by other men who took offense to the criticism (which was very specific and valid in my opinion) and my supposed manhood was harshly questioned. As was their sense of my valor and respect for tradition. I'd made similar statements with a female username elsewhere and got much gentler responses from men.

    Anyway, I found it interesting in a shrinky way.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

    I remember a poster from years ago who would post in all the discussion forums on MFP. Not just Chit Chat. His/her username was a series of numbers with non sequitur letters placed in between. No avatar pic. It was impossible to know the gender and the individual was careful never to reveal it or even hint at it. He/she kept all his/her responses factual and generalized. People were very cautious when speaking to this person, although this person wasn't at all aggressive or offensive. It's like people just couldn't find comfortable footing with this individual but they still conversed.

  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

    I remember a poster from years ago who would post in all the discussion forums on MFP. Not just Chit Chat. His/her username was a series of numbers with non sequitur letters placed in between. No avatar pic. It was impossible to know the gender and the individual was careful never to reveal it or even hint at it. He/she kept all his/her responses factual and generalized. People were very cautious when speaking to this person, although this person wasn't at all aggressive or offensive. It's like people just couldn't find comfortable footing with this individual but they still conversed.

    Next username/pic gonna be that way, maybe!
    00261300, pic will be a black or white square or something, maybe a starry sky
    ...coded in there is a message!!
    May have already exposed myself!

    Too girly?
    ...ya...gotta go black and or white...no stars
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

    I remember a poster from years ago who would post in all the discussion forums on MFP. Not just Chit Chat. His/her username was a series of numbers with non sequitur letters placed in between. No avatar pic. It was impossible to know the gender and the individual was careful never to reveal it or even hint at it. He/she kept all his/her responses factual and generalized. People were very cautious when speaking to this person, although this person wasn't at all aggressive or offensive. It's like people just couldn't find comfortable footing with this individual but they still conversed.

    Next username/pic gonna be that way, maybe!
    00261300, pic will be a black or white square or something, maybe a starry sky
    ...coded in there is a message!!
    May have already exposed myself!

    Too girly?
    ...ya...gotta go black and or white...no stars

    My guess is your feminine mystique would shine through the cracks.

    And you'd develop a loyal fan base of hopefulls.

    They would start haranguing you to start your own live streaming You Tube channel where they would call in and chat with you live.

    You should then entice @WorkerDrone83 to become your volunteer moderator in case pranksters show up.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

    I remember a poster from years ago who would post in all the discussion forums on MFP. Not just Chit Chat. His/her username was a series of numbers with non sequitur letters placed in between. No avatar pic. It was impossible to know the gender and the individual was careful never to reveal it or even hint at it. He/she kept all his/her responses factual and generalized. People were very cautious when speaking to this person, although this person wasn't at all aggressive or offensive. It's like people just couldn't find comfortable footing with this individual but they still conversed.

    Next username/pic gonna be that way, maybe!
    00261300, pic will be a black or white square or something, maybe a starry sky
    ...coded in there is a message!!
    May have already exposed myself!

    Too girly?
    ...ya...gotta go black and or white...no stars

    My guess is your feminine mystique would shine through the cracks.

    And you'd develop a loyal fan base of hopefulls.

    They would start haranguing you to start your own live streaming You Tube channel where they would call in and chat with you live.

    You should then entice @WorkerDrone83 to become your volunteer moderator in case pranksters show up.

    So I'm just a girly girl...no hopes of androgyny?
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I love your question @newmeadow!

    I have never...but after I first came to mfp I thought about it.

    When I started on the forums I went with a pseudonym, with all real pictures...felt it was an honest, but a safely guarded true reflection of myself.

    I've always wondered how it may be to be gender anonymous...to other people
    ...like from my personality, opinions, way of speaking (excluding the voice thread...I'm so soft spoken and girly sounding)
    ...would you be able to guess my gender?

    If I ever deactivate I'm gonna try to come back as neutral as possible with a neutral name and pic...just because I'm curious.

    And, with those profiles that are non gender specific...who equates one with them, and why I wonder?
    Is it their sentence structure? Topics of interest? Way of speaking?

    Very interesting to me.

    I remember a poster from years ago who would post in all the discussion forums on MFP. Not just Chit Chat. His/her username was a series of numbers with non sequitur letters placed in between. No avatar pic. It was impossible to know the gender and the individual was careful never to reveal it or even hint at it. He/she kept all his/her responses factual and generalized. People were very cautious when speaking to this person, although this person wasn't at all aggressive or offensive. It's like people just couldn't find comfortable footing with this individual but they still conversed.

    Next username/pic gonna be that way, maybe!
    00261300, pic will be a black or white square or something, maybe a starry sky
    ...coded in there is a message!!
    May have already exposed myself!

    Too girly?
    ...ya...gotta go black and or white...no stars

    My guess is your feminine mystique would shine through the cracks.

    And you'd develop a loyal fan base of hopefulls.

    They would start haranguing you to start your own live streaming You Tube channel where they would call in and chat with you live.

    You should then entice @WorkerDrone83 to become your volunteer moderator in case pranksters show up.

    So I'm just a girly girl...no hopes of androgyny?

    6iyx2nfez8ty.png


  • amorfati601070
    amorfati601070 Posts: 2,890 Member
    When i was younger I pretended to be a girl on chat roulette and spoofed the webcam. Kinda like a Chris Hansen thing... The levels of depravity, desperation were vomit inducing. No self respect or dignity 🤮.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    No. Who has that kind of time?

    I am aware of daily drinking groups who would congregate around ONE laptop, use ONE username on forums. They would collectively contribute and flirt with other members of social media sites, using either male or female pseudonyms for their evenings entertainment as the one person.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    No. Who has that kind of time?

    I am aware of daily drinking groups who would congregate around ONE laptop, use ONE username on forums. They would collectively contribute and flirt with other members of social media sites, using either male or female pseudonyms for their evenings entertainment as the one person.

    This is making me want to take up drinking again.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    No. Who has that kind of time?

    I am aware of daily drinking groups who would congregate around ONE laptop, use ONE username on forums. They would collectively contribute and flirt with other members of social media sites, using either male or female pseudonyms for their evenings entertainment as the one person.

    This is making me want to take up drinking again.

    This is why I 💖 your posts @newmeadow
  • This content has been removed.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    ud36wxec9e6u.jpg
    At a costume party where I was Carole Lombard and Wifey was Clark gable I was hit on by a guy. So I had him wait on me all night ling: getting me drinks, lighting my cigarette--back when I used to smoke--much to the ire of the guy's wife.

    Very nice. I like how you even reenacted Carole's bosom. And spelled her first name correctly. And paid homage to a mother-of-pearl
    dangling accessory.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    When i was younger I pretended to be a girl on chat roulette and spoofed the webcam. Kinda like a Chris Hansen thing... The levels of depravity, desperation were vomit inducing. No self respect or dignity 🤮.

    I'm thinking you were asked to role play in scenario(s) of risque and outlandish romantic practices with complete strangers. And you were like eeeeeww.
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    I had a friend on here that had an ambiguous user name and for a week changed his profile picture to a female or something feminine. He posted similarly to when he had his own picture up but got many interesting friend requests and PMs (back when you could get them from non friends).
    I have posted previously with a different profile picture and was torn up because of something I said and "how can a man understand?" Well.... I'm not a man and when I said that the backpedaling began.
  • newmeadow
    newmeadow Posts: 1,295 Member
    I had a friend on here that had an ambiguous user name and for a week changed his profile picture to a female or something feminine. He posted similarly to when he had his own picture up but got many interesting friend requests and PMs (back when you could get them from non friends).
    I have posted previously with a different profile picture and was torn up because of something I said and "how can a man understand?" Well.... I'm not a man and when I said that the backpedaling began.

    Sorry I'm not sure what you mean. Men or women responded harshly to you?
  • LiftingSpirits
    LiftingSpirits Posts: 2,207 Member
    newmeadow wrote: »
    I had a friend on here that had an ambiguous user name and for a week changed his profile picture to a female or something feminine. He posted similarly to when he had his own picture up but got many interesting friend requests and PMs (back when you could get them from non friends).
    I have posted previously with a different profile picture and was torn up because of something I said and "how can a man understand?" Well.... I'm not a man and when I said that the backpedaling began.

    Sorry I'm not sure what you mean. Men or women responded harshly to you?

    A woman was mad at a man for saying what I said even though I am not one. I don't recall the topic right now, but it was interesting to see the change once she realized the mistake.
  • Mona898989
    Mona898989 Posts: 18 Member
    Never did that
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Not really on topic but reminded me, I got into an argument with Apple because they insisted I use a gender specific title when entering my credit card info. I got super mad and started a chat session telling them it was sexist and not their business whether I was male or female first off, and secondly that I had to imply my marital status was archaic and sexist. By selecting one of the female titles (except Dr) you are implying your marital status. All I wanted to do was rent a movie, who cares what gender I am...FU.

    I had never thought about that before and I became enraged. I was told I was being belligerent and if I didn't stop they wouldn't talk to me anymore (boo-hoo, just answer my question, it makes sense).

    Anyways, now I'm thinking I prefer Ma'am...(yes! the dreaded Ma'am!) Lots of women hate it, but I looked it up a while ago and it's short for Madam, which sounds charming and old fashioned
    ...but really it makes me giggle because I think of it like 'a Madam', like a pimp, or in charge of a brothel.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Not really on topic but reminded me, I got into an argument with Apple because they insisted I use a gender specific title when entering my credit card info. I got super mad and started a chat session telling them it was sexist and not their business whether I was male or female first off, and secondly that I had to imply my marital status was archaic and sexist. By selecting one of the female titles (except Dr) you are implying your marital status. All I wanted to do was rent a movie, who cares what gender I am...FU.

    I had never thought about that before and I became enraged. I was told I was being belligerent and if I didn't stop they wouldn't talk to me anymore (boo-hoo, just answer my question, it makes sense).

    Anyways, now I'm thinking I prefer Ma'am...(yes! the dreaded Ma'am!) Lots of women hate it, but I looked it up a while ago and it's short for Madam, which sounds charming and old fashioned
    ...but really it makes me giggle because I think of it like 'a Madam', like a pimp, or in charge of a brothel.

    ma’am is good. as is madam. etc
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,378 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Not really on topic but reminded me, I got into an argument with Apple because they insisted I use a gender specific title when entering my credit card info. I got super mad and started a chat session telling them it was sexist and not their business whether I was male or female first off, and secondly that I had to imply my marital status was archaic and sexist. By selecting one of the female titles (except Dr) you are implying your marital status. All I wanted to do was rent a movie, who cares what gender I am...FU.

    I'd have gone with Dr.

    None of my credit cards have any sort of title in front of my name. Apple is stoopid.

    To answer the original question, I've always chosen recognizably feminine user names because my real name is unisex and I've spent most of my life getting correspondence addressed to "Mr" and "Dear Sir" so I've had enough androgeny.
  • TheSaltedSeaCake
    TheSaltedSeaCake Posts: 56 Member
    When I'm gaming I choose male avatars...mainly because males will then leave me tf alone to kill things with out their sass.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
    My older brother sounds like a lady when he answers the phone. It's funny he would get so mad. I've dressed up as a girl 3 time 2 for Halloween. Once on a dare. You should see the look i got in the bathroom. Guy would step back from the urinals. It was funny how
This discussion has been closed.