Any reformed angry people?

kds10

I took a quiz online and it shows that I have moderate anger issues....funny thing is I always thought angry people were the ones that were physically angry and or yelling at people on the street, etc. I don't do those things but....

...some of the questions on this quiz surprised me, such as do people annoy you when you feel that they are not acting as you think they should, and do you often dwell on a conversation and think after the fact about all the comebacks you should have said, etc. etc. So it hit me that in some ways I am an "angry" person. I definently think I am passive aggressive for sure:(

I think confrontation is hard for me and I would rather vent/*kitten* about someone or some situation then have to deal with it head on. Or I am passive and then feel angry with myself after for not dealing with it at the time.

Anybody else have these issues?

InkgirlKC

I would like to take that quiz! Can you share the link?

TravisJHunt

What if I'm just angry?

kds10

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTCS_88.htm

kds10

http://www.depression-guide.com/quiz/anger-quiz.htm

kds10

I think for me it goes back to me being passive aggressive instead of dealing with things in a mature way that I am happy with. I often will think of something I should have said after the fact not at the time so this just leaves me feeling frustrated and then I tend to get angry at myself, angry at the person, etc.

Or I go into a situation telling myself okay make sure you behave like this/say this, etc. and then I revert back to old habits and regret how I came across..i.e. too passive/too aggressive.

kds10

LOL>..I long to be the person that says the right thing at the right time all the time:)

cqbkaju

In my experience, most "passive aggressive" people (PAPs) have more difficulty controlling their tempers and frequently have more "emotional" responses than the aggressive / direct types.
PAPs may have no outlet or coping mechanisms for their frustrations and so they might feel powerless - which leads to more anger.

It is rather counter-intuitive.
Many people seem to think that combat veterans, trained fighters, etc. (i.e. people who are accustomed to "fighting") have short tempers.
I find the opposite to often be true.

Maybe it is due to the differences in how PAPs handle conflict?
Being faced with differing opinions or arguments is probably the biggest "conflict" many passive-aggressive people will ever need to deal with.

That being said, I coach fighters who are trained to deal with conflict (especially violence) without emotion and in a very direct manner, by definition.
Maybe when you get used to people talking smack before a fight and just shrug it off unless it is time for action it changes your wiring a bit, so to speak?

I have seen (and experienced) several instances where people who are not scared of conflict are much more relaxed than the "average person" when violence might be imminent.

I am not a mental health professional, so I could be way off base here.

kds10

cqbkaju wrote: »

In my experience, most "passive aggressive" people (PAPs) have more difficulty controlling their tempers and frequently have more "emotional" responses than the aggressive / direct types.
PAPs may have no outlet or coping mechanisms for their frustrations and so they might feel powerless - which leads to more anger.

Maybe it is due to the differences in how PAPs handle conflict?
Being faced with differing opinions or arguments is probably the biggest "conflict" many passive-aggressive people will ever need to deal with.

That being said, I coach fighters who are trained to deal with conflict (especially violence) without emotion and in a very direct manner, by definition.
Maybe when you get used to people talking smack before a fight and just shrug it off unless it is time for action it changes your wiring a bit, so to speak?

I have seen (and experienced) several instances where people who are not scared of conflict are much more relaxed than the "average person" when violence might be imminent.

I am not a mental health professional, so I could be way off base here.

I agree with what you said. I grew up with a mother who is very passive and her thing was don't confront, just leave it, don't make waves, etc. So I do that a lot as well....

...just last week at work somebody I don't know that well made a stupid comment to me and I think they thought they were really funny but I found it stupid and little insulting and I just laughed but then was pissed off later as I thought about what I should have said instead. BUt if my husband had said the samething I would have not had any problems telling him what I thought...go figure!

Motorsheen

reformed ?

no.

Cutemesoon

Your score is - 12 out of 40.

Score (0-13) - you are doing good and are well off in the field of Anger Management. Remember, Anger when present in controlled manner, can increase the productivity and make you succeed.

The only reason why I scored so low is because they didn't ask any questions about the anger I feel while driving in a large city.

TheRoadDog

Got a score of 10.

Score (0-13) - you are doing good and are well off in the field of Anger Management. Remember, Anger when present in controlled manner, can increase the productivity and make you succeed.

go_cubs

I get hangry quite often

knightingale9985

I may be passive aggressive. People can irritate me.. Especially stupid people.. And I find myself annoyed at people who share posts on social media and try to pass it off as the truth without even stopping for a moment and considering that it could be fake. 2 minutes of research could easily save them from looking like fools. But do I confront them? Sort of.. I post a link to an actual news article or snopes on their post which usually gets ignored. I have most of my friends and family unfollowed because of their lack of common sense. I have to be really ticked to confront anyone though and when I do I’m so quiet it scares the kitten out of them.

TheSaltedSeaCake

Define..Reformed.