Am I Being Unreasonable

makohannel

First let me say, I’m sorry if this comes off as though I am whining but I need to share. Yesterday morning I was in the group fitness studio at my gym and I was scrolling through my Fit Bit looking at how much exercise I’ve actually been doing. It isn’t as much as I had hoped. And then I looked around the room at all the toned women with flat stomachs and my heart hurt. I feel so angry – not with those people but with myself. How did I allow myself to get to the point where I am 150lbs overweight? Why is it so hard for me to be consistent about coming to the gym? Why do I struggle so much with how much I eat? The flat stomach thing really triggers me because I am now so fat that my stomach has developed a flap. It hangs over my the waist band of my pants. I think that my insecurities about my stomach and how fat my arms look are the two things that bother me the most about my appearance. I know those fit people have earned the bodies that they have just as I have mine. I see that they come so regularly to class that the instructor knows their names and notices on the days when they can’t make it to class. I see that they have gym class buddies. I want that. I do so want to be fit again. I would like to see a flight of stairs and not feel apprehensive. I would like to not dread having to bend over when I tie my shoes. I would like to be able to shop at regular size stores. And on and on.

Part of the problem is that for the last 2 years I worked two full time jobs. My plan had been that I would at least make it to the gym on the weekends and on Monday mornings but that never happened. I was too tired. I was also too tired to cook so I ended up eating a lot of fast food. I practically had to live in my car because I wasn’t going home in between jobs. I would work from 9am to 2am the next day. During the week I’d get like 3 – 4 hours of sleep a night. I told myself that it didn’t matter that I was gaining weight because when I stopped working two job I would lose the weight easily but that hasn’t happened either. The eating habits and exercise habits (more like lack thereof) I developed are proving to be really hard to get rid of. I actually still need a second income but I promised myself that until I get this weight thing licked I will put that off. I’m terrified that if I take a second job again it will be more of the same and I will gain even more weight. As it is I am a 3X which for plus size women is the size that even most plus size stores stop at. Quite literally if I gain any more weight I will be too fat even for most plus size stores.

Do you think I’m being unreasonable about not working a second job due to my weight gain fears? I’m also taking a course now which will help me to get a better paying job. Working two jobs left me no time or energy to study as well so I ended up putting off my education for over 2 years.

Oh well, it seems as if that old adage is true in this situation – the only way out is through. All I can do is keep fighting to lose the weight, right?

TavistockToad

who wants to you work a second job? you to increase your own income? or is there family to support?

the thing is, devoting all your energy into hating yourself now wont help you change anything.

work on logging your food, hitting your weekly calorie goal, and find some exercise that you enjoy (whether that's the gym or not is up to you).

ninerbuff

Why do you have to work 2 jobs? The reality is that whatever is MOST IMPORTANT to you is what you'll do. If you want to lose weight, there flat out are just things you have to do to do it. And for the majority it's about calorie consumption than going to the gym because there are LOTS of people that exercise an hour a day on a daily basis but don't change because their eating habits haven't changed.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

pinuplove

You sound very frustrated. Take a deep breath! First of all, exercise is not the limiting factor in losing weight. Calories for weight loss, exercise for fitness. If you log carefully and stick to your calorie goal, you will lose weight. Nutrition is important (always) but don't think you have to give up all the foods you love to lose weight. Moderation is a beautiful thing.

Also, sleep and your mental health are important too. If you can possibly survive without the second job a while longer, I absolutely would. 3-4 hours of sleep on the regular would leave me a depressed, zombified mess.

quiksylver296

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

MarieRosekenji85

It may be complicated but pack lunches and healthy snacks like chopped fruits and vegetables, buy premade salads and pack water bottles in a cooler. If you're needing to get a second job for income, I'm sure that eating out all the time isn't helping your financial situation. You could try to find others local to you and plan workouts so your more likely to show up and get it done. I'm sure most of those fit gym members didn't just wake up toned and fit, they had to work for it. It's best not to compare yourself to others. Just make short , small term goals like tracking your food, drinking enough water, exercising a few times a week. You can do this if you want it.

Annie_01

Many people here have lost a considerable amount of weight without exercise. Weight loss depends on getting your eating under control. I am not saying the exercise doesn't help but it isn't necessary.

There is a man in the Success section that has lost over 100lbs...he is wheelchair bound. He is proof that with determination and belief in yourself...great things can happen. There is a woman with MS...uses a wheelchair and crutches...she has shown great strength in losing over 100lbs.

It isn't about having time to go to the gym...it is about taking the time to stop making excuses and believing that you can take control.

MikePTY

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling. As others have mentioned, your food and calorie intake is the biggest driver of weight loss, not exercise. Exercise can help, but it will never be the sole driver and for most people, never the main driver, especially if you have a lot of weight to lose.

I would focus on getting your eating under control first before you focus on going to the gym. If you only have time/energy to do one, focus on shopping and cooking. The gym can come later if it fits your scheudle once you've made some progress, but for now if anything, it sounds like a demotiviating factor because you find yourself constantly in comparison to others.

Only you know the true realities of your financial situation, but if you can at all manage it, I think avoiding the second job for the time being while you get started is a good thing for you to do. It is sad that you feel line you have to work 16 hours a day to survive. But doing so at the expense of your health isn't really surviving. Focus on that first, and you may find that one you lose weight, you feel better and have more energy to tackle the demanding schedule. And once you set routines and behavior if eating control, then you are more likely to consider it if you scheudle intensifies.

Plus, shopping and cooking for yourself will save you money over eating fast food/on the go all the time. So while that may not be enough to make up for not having the second job, it will help with the financial situation somewhat. And I think if you need to, you can give up the gym for now to save the cost. Focus on your eating first. You can make a ton of progress with just that.

rosiorama

I don’t work two fulltime jobs, but I work more than fulltime and hold two jobs. It definitely cuts into gym time, but I go when I can, and don’t when I just can’t. As others have said, fast food isn’t the cheapest option, and it isn’t the healthiest. You also don’t need exercise to lose weight - it really is about getting your calorie consumption consistently at a deficit. It took me THREE MONTHS of logging and tracking calories to lose 10 pounds. It isn’t quick. It’s a daily slog.

I pretty much eat the same lunch every day and a similar breakfast because I know what the calorie count is. I eat a lot of protein bars, protein powder and canned meat so I can keep track of calories. Not ideal, but that’s the reality of working as much as I do.

Sorry you are frustrated. I totally get it. Figure out your calorie limit for modest weight loss and keep plugging away at it. And two ft jobs? I can’t imagine.

((Hugs))

whmscll

Investing in yourself by taking a course and focusing on losing weight is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself right now. You don’t have to exercise to lose weight, so save those gym membership fees and put those dollars toward healthier foods you can make at home without too much effort. If you want some exercise, walk. The gym is not good for your self esteem right now, so don’t put yourself there. Read as much as you can on MFP about good nutrition and tips for prepping food in advance for those times where you need to take it with you so you have an option besides fast food or when you’re just too tired to cook (hello microwave). You can do it!