All or nothing kind of person

Craft_queen

I am an all or nothing kind of person in a lot of parts of my life including eating. When it comes to food I am one of two ways:

1) Really focused on what I eat, eating to my calorie allowance or less and tracking accurately. Often it is to the point where maybe I become a bit obsessive and it’s on my mind most of the time
2) I’m the complete opposite eating whatever I like whenever I like and not tracking at all and not caring.

So my question is how have people found a balance as I’m not particularly happy with either way of thinking?

bpetrosky

You have to find a way to ditch the "all-or-nothing" mindset. I found that planning ahead wherever possible and working in a reasonable portion for foods in craving helps a lot. It also helps to remember that one meal or day won't change the overall trend it there's a plan in place for the rest of the time.

PAV8888

Time to realize that for many people weight management will be for life.

Therefore there is no hurry.

Add more appropriate to your goals food: more filling for less calories or less filling for more calories depending on goals. But don't remove anything other than reducing the use of foods you find are no longer measuring up.

Create smaller deficits or surpluses. In the no more than 20% of TDEE range (up to 25% while obese or high overweight), so in the sub 500 Cal per day range for people with a TDEE below 2500.

Use weight trend app to judge progress after 4-6 weeks.

Eating at Maintenance once in a while is fine. All it does is move your non existent end date one day down the road.

Create a diet where you discover and eat the things you're planning to eat for the foreseeable future within your changing caloric limits

If you take this approach you won't be able to maintain your previous all or nothing approach as easily

robthephotog

Ive found looking long term helps me with my all or nothing mentality. At first i felt like if i eat way too much one day that ive failed. But in the big scheme of things one day doesnt matter that much. I'm in this for the long haul.

NovusDies

Craft_queen wrote: »

I am an all or nothing kind of person in a lot of parts of my life including eating. When it comes to food I am one of two ways:

1) Really focused on what I eat, eating to my calorie allowance or less and tracking accurately. Often it is to the point where maybe I become a bit obsessive and it’s on my mind most of the time
2) I’m the complete opposite eating whatever I like whenever I like and not tracking at all and not caring.

So my question is how have people found a balance as I’m not particularly happy with either way of thinking?

It is good that you recognize the problem. It took me way too long but I finally realized it too. Once I realized it was defeating me I was able to push past it.

I do this:

https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10735146/the-six-day-calorie-deficit-aka-banking-calories#latest

One of the benefits of eating more calories one day a week is that initially it forced me to relax. After that it was all about being an incentive. Now I am perfectly comfortable temporarily exiting my deficit for special occasions, days where I need it, and sometimes just for fun.

150poundsofme

I do the same for over 45 years and it is still happening, undoing all my progress. Big hugs

emilysusana

Hi! I’m the same way. I’ve been self-aware enough to recognize and name it for at least 10 years. I tried to change the mentality and I still do try, but for the most part I realize I need to take small steps toward not obsessing, but that I need to keep myself in the “all” (as opposed to the “nothing”) mode. I wrote a thread about this awhile ago and got good advice. I can’t figure out how to link it here on my phone, but if you want to search for it, it’s called “I have two modes”

psychod787

I was all or nothing... had to change.

Rockin_reese

I've still gotta change.

amusedmonkey

Try making mistakes on purpose. Small calculated "mistakes". With time and practice, not being perfect stops having such a profound impact.

Example: After a day of successful dieting, have something you don't consider part of your diet. A small something, like 50-100 calories. Enough to send your profile into the red but not enough to wipe out your deficit. Do it often enough until you're not as stressed by it, then take it a step further by not logging those 50 calories. Maybe after that try teaching yourself to have a meal that you don't consider part of your diet, but still okay on calories. Do it often enough until you're not as stressed by having an off-plan meal. Then one day, surprise yourself by having an unplanned maintenance day, and so on. It may be hard at first and you may go off the rails a few times, and that's okay. It's a learning process and it paves the way for a more flexible approach where you get to plan indulgences in moderation or even full days of maintenance if you need them.

150poundsofme

emilysusana: I did search for your older discussion and it was great advice about moderating and abstaining. I copied a lot of it down. I do believe, for me, that I need to do this - to say no to certain foods. I have done this but apparently I need to expand my list because for months and months now, I keep gaining and losing, binging and eating healthy, the yo-yo. Someone who has been helping me said that I should limit my desserts, have like 1 a month but I find that whenever a dessert is offered, I automatically just reach for it. So I will start tomorrow and not have any desserts. Go back to my food plan where a year ago I was able to consistently lose weight. And a little bit of a different topic but I have realized the last few days that just being in my car by myself is a trigger. Because when I am in binge mode, I will stop at many fast food restaurants and eat the food in the car. So like last week, I was in and out of stores all day. Had no intention of going off my food plan. But I passed a fast food restaurant and drove right in and got my usual. Then this happened another time, in the car, and just passing the sign for the restaurant. Not sure how to avoid this trigger because I will always be passing some type of restaurant. But anyway, thanks for sending us to your older thread! Good luck everybody, tomorrow is a new day to start fresh. Hugs

PAV8888

Restrict - binge cycles are often fuelled by attempting too large of a deficit for your current state.

Often when the attempted deficit is lessened the restict-binge cycle reduces.

Fivepts

For food addicts like me, it's a whole different story of extremes. I just read a great book called, "Food Junkie" by Tarman and Werdell, you might relate to. The authors do a great job of explaining lots of different struggles, ie the normal eaters who can solve their issues with CICO, addicts who need to abstain from addictive substances, those who are emotional eaters/eating disorders who need emotional and spiritual healing as well as the overlapping issues. I think we all cycle to some degree but victory is in different approaches, apparently.