For Success, What Mentally Changed For You?

ArtsieSarah

I think this is a very interesting and important topic to weight loss: the mental change. It's common knowledge that exercise and diet leads to success but A LOT (if not most) is a mental fight to get there.

If you were successful, what changed mentally during your journey and what helped you in that area?

Fflpnari

My attachment to the scale changed. I used to weigh every single day. Now I can go several days if not a week without weighing, knowing it won't show 10 pounds up from the previous time.
Seeing the scale under 200 was always a freakout mental moment for me (No clue why).

Mentally preparing myself for the comments people make. Ive let those derail me before.


Bad days will happen. I don't let them derail me. I get back on track the next day.


The mental struggle had kept me yo-yoing for YEARS. these changes this time around have really helped me. I mentally much stronger this go around

MadisonMolly2017

I realized deeply (and adjusted to the idea) that there is no end point to this journey. That was a profound insight. Maintenance requires the same problem solving, habit creation, and vigilance as losing the weight.

I realized I could create habits & approaches (by choice) that would insure my success OR I could fly by the seat of my pants & stress out when things went sideways. I created a mantra for myself. Insure your success. So, I eat the same breakfast. I make sure I have apples, berries, baby carrots, nonfat milk & yogurt, and other things in stock always... Insuring my success.

I realized walking daily reduced my stress, gave me a pleasant time in my day, placed me closer to nature- It became something I now look forward to greatly. Not a have-to, but a want-to!

I dealt with the guilt of having eaten so much & not exercised for years. I dealt with the sad feelings of years lost not being as fit & energetic as I could have been. I dealt with the regrets, the lost opportunities, etc. the way I did that was with another mantra “The Past is past. All we can do is change this Moment on.”

I had to spend time with my body self-talk. I had to come to terms with some parts of my body changing as I lost weight. But you know, these parts got worse before they got better. Don’t give up as I did in the past. With less fat, there is less sagging eventually

Ok I’ll stop here, but YES, it’s a MENTAL GAME❣️

MikePTY

I stopped believing that I had limits. A lot of my past failures was me believing "you'll never be able to do that." Once I broke free of that, everything changed.

IremiaRe

I finally accepted the fact that I was in complete control of what food went into my mouth... not my husband, not my boss, not my parents... me.

Once I accepted responsibility for my own actions, I was able to start changing them. Nobody else ate the three thousand calories a day it took to maintain my body at over 350 pounds... that was all me. I also had to forgive myself... for being so stupid for so long.

I still have to remind myself that I make the choices. Stress eating is a *kitten.*

jan110144

The biggest change for me was reframing from "diet" to lifestyle change.

I have always been good at losing weight, but not so much in maintaining. I would accomplish my "goal" and then have problems staying focused and the pounds would creep back on. Having reached "goal" again, I am still struggling with this a bit. But with the "lifestyle change" approach I am much more aware of what is going on and working on it (instead of ignoring the subtle slips that can lead to a totally downward spiral.)

As an aside, this is very similar to my experience with quitting smoking. I was very good at quitting, but equally good at relapsing. It took several cycles before I solved that problem (have not smoked in nearly 20 years now )

pierinifitness

Chanting my four favorite affirmation words kept me in good company and on task during my journey - DESIRE, DISCIPLINE, PATIENCE AND PERSEVERANCE. I realized, for best results, they should be in equal proportions.

Changing what food is for me - it’s fuel for my body and lifestyle activities engine. Fuel + full = food. The fuel mindset helped me make better decisions on what to eat.

ArtsieSarah

So many great changes, I love all of these!

NewLIFEstyle4ME

1.) How WRONG I am/can be about so much STUFF! Once I humbled myself and accepted wholeheartedly that I don't have all the answers AND a LOT of stuff I was sure I was 100% right about, I was as wrong as two left feet. Being stubborn/angry/entertaining self pity is forever banished from my heart and mind, why? Because it's not necessary, period. I can handle challenges, stress and mess like the winner I am, I can fall and get back up...I am no longer a "victim" of (fill in the blank). I can do ALL things thru Christ who strengthens me, period. What this did/does for me is keep me out of "boxes", self-imposed prisons that kept me in a state of woe and obesity and a lot more UGH/YUCK. When I'm wrong about something, I will admit it immediately, make it right (NEVER daring to ignore stuff anymore, no matter how hard or painful) and move on, period. I can be and am a kind, loving, patient, mature, professional and intelligent, learning new things everyday person. It's not necessary to carry myself any other way, no longer allowing people, places and things that are not for me and not good for me to control me (NOR me trying to control people, places and things) anymore. Just always believing when people, places or things show me who/what they are--BELIEVE them/it and not "allow" them/it place in my heart and mind and actions. Guarding my heart and mind in the power of real love, not this P.C. mind-set or way of living, thinking and being nor going along to get along ever with people, places and things that are counter-productive and bad for/to me. Everyone/everything doesn't get to be in my "circle"--no matter who or what they/it is", period. I can live in real power and/true love without an ounce of offense, anger, and yuck, period.

2.) Another thing that changed for me is my relationship with food and people. I don't have to have an extra piece of this or that...I can say NO to a lot of things that again, held me "captive" with a lack of self-control, impatience, excuses/justifications and self-deception/self-destruction and the "lie" that if things don't go my way, if I can't have what I want NOW, my world will be rocked. There's a four letter word that I've come to LOVE and it's WAIT! Good things truly does come to those that wait, including meeting weight blastification goals and a lot more. Going along to get along is a "box" that I refuse to lock myself into anymore.

3.) I can eat whatever I want to...whenever I want to, just much smaller portions than I did when I was obese/overweight and not as often throughout the day, period. If I want something and I've reached my cal limits, the answer is no longer NO, but WAIT--I can have it tomorrow.

4.) I don't have to like everybody, and everybody is not going to like me. I don't have to be in the box/prison of "but this is your (fill in the blank with a family member, life-long frienemy, whatever/whoever). This world doesn't revolve around me--but that doesn't equal I have to put up with any kinda mess that is destructive to me, if people, places and things are not for me, are not good for/to me--BYE! Bye without an ounce of bitterness, sadness, vain/abusive compromise NOR FEAR nor any such yuck...just bye and I wish you well, period.

5.) Life is GOOD and what I make it by my daily choices, period.

anl90

I think it was a matter of changing habits. It is typically a slow process for me, but I ease myself out of bad habits and into good habits. Slow and steady wins the race, here.

emmies_123

First, I found a type of exercise I enjoyed. Over time my brain changed from "ugh I have to exercise instead of sleep in" to "I'm up anyway, and I'll feel better about the day if I do it." Now it is second nature to get in my exercise gear first thing. I also view my exercise as helping my fitness level, not as a method of weight loss.

On a side note, I have noticed a difference in how my husband and I treat exercise time. For me, it is 30 mins out of my day and I know I feel better afterwards. I do a variety of workouts related to strength and cardio, and I accept that I am going to hit my fitness goal slowly.

My husband only cycles on a stationary bike, while playing video games on tv at same time. For him, exercise time is infringing on his free/fun time, and to be gotten through as efficiently as possible. I have asked him about finding ways to work his upper body, but as he can't play games or burn as many calories (based on bike counter) he views any other kind of exercise as a waste of his time.

oceangirl99

When I realized dieting for a couple months wasn't the solution. There is no quick fix. You have to make mostly healthy choices again, and again, and again..... forever. It's okay to go over calories, just get back on track the next day.

ArtsieSarah

anl90 wrote: »

I think it was a matter of changing habits. It is typically a slow process for me, but I ease myself out of bad habits and into good habits. Slow and steady wins the race, here.

Omg I am totally finding this is my daily life now as I switch over to the healthy lifestyle. Things are SUCH a habit like snacking. I’m trying to make meal planning a habit 😂

Keep_on_cardio

Stop being overly into my emotions. The creating boundaries with particular family members, cutting people off accordingly. The calmness came, when priorities changed and placing my mental health first. My children needing a positive role model, to teach them to live healthier lifestyle habits.

I like routine. The early morning cardio, to have an hour to myself before the kids wake up and to start my day with a clear mind.

Adding a exercise class, which helped being surrounded like minded people, who’re focused on taking care of their health. The energy is positive and the atmosphere is fun.

Being more aware of what I'm eating and reading labels first. The list of foods, I’m better off avoiding and ones with limits, or my go to foods.

Understanding not every day is going to be a highly disciplined day. To get it together, the next day if I have an off day.

ArtsieSarah

Keep_on_cardio wrote: »

Stop being overly into my emotions. The creating boundaries with particular family members, cutting people off accordingly. The calmness came, when priorities changed and placing my mental health first. My children needing a positive role model, to teach them to live healthier lifestyle habits.

I like routine. The early morning cardio, to have an hour to myself before the kids wake up and to start my day with a clear mind.

Adding a exercise class, which helped being surrounded like minded people, who’re focused on taking care of their health. The energy is positive and the atmosphere is fun.

Being more aware of what I'm eating and reading labels first. The list of foods, I’m better off avoiding and ones with limits, or my go to foods.

Understanding not every day is going to be a highly disciplined day. To get it together, the next day if I have an off day.

Really smart adding exercise classes, I bet having those would probably keep someone going mentally and physically on the whole lifestyle change thing.

cbstewart88

1. Found this site, starting tracking calories. Could no longer hide from how many calories I was taking in each day.
2. Got a FitBit. Starting tracking how many calories I was really burning everyday - and was shocked how few I was burning!
3. Realized I would have to "up" my activity level - so set up a home gym.
4. After many months of consistent and dedicated workouts- noticed how much better I was feeling MENTALLY!!! And this put me in the proper frame of mind to stay positive, not sweat the small stuff and not feel so resentful or deprived.
5. THE BOTTOM LINE FOR ME = KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!

ceiswyn

I suddenly realised that my understanding of hunger was all wrong. I'd thought of it as a purely physical drive, something that I couldn't affect or change. Understanding that the starving, unbearable, craving hunger pangs I felt were almost entirely mental let me play with strategies to sidetrack my mind so that it just... didn't issue them

SteroidalLolita

I haven't quite found success yet- but I'm definitely changed for the better to get there.

For me, I was always a chubby kid. And I always hated myself for it. I convinced myself there was nothing I could do to change it. By the time I reached 21 I weighed 260 pounds- my absolute heaviest weight. I'd walk on the treadmill now and then for a half an hour, but never made a habit of it. At that time I was in a pretty bad, emotionally manipulative relationship.

When I finally got out of that relationship I moved in with friends of mine. We walked constantly, we played frisbee, we worked out together and went for runs in the morning. 100 pounds fell off of me in a matter of 4 or 5 months. It helped that I couldn't afford to eat very much or very often. I survived (somehow) on one meal a day... If you could consider what I ate meals even.

Then I met my ex-husband. We got together. I stopped exercising. I was cooped up all the time. I had never established any healthy eating habit so I gained weight again, and quickly. That was another mentally draining relationship, but I never realized it until we'd gotten married. I got back up to around 250 pounds.

And then I left him.

Now I have a loving, supportive husband. I have healthy eating habits. I love to exercise. I'm down 36 pounds since March 28th to 214, and I intend to keep up with it.

TLDR; it takes a HUGE amount of change in personality to take on a task like committing to weight loss, and an even bigger change to keep it off. I was always my biggest challenge and I don't plan to be anymore.

amusedmonkey

I had to mourn the fact that I will no longer be able to eat with abandon consistently. I had to come to terms with it, but without completely swinging to the other side of joyless eating. I chose to focus on getting the most enjoyment out of my calories since they're limited, and that made dieting feel like less of a loss and much more doable. I had movie popcorn last night, followed by a meal at my favorite pizzeria (including dessert). I enjoyed every second of it. Days like yesterday is what I remember when I'm feeling down and like life is unfair because I can't eat that dry cake on the counter. If I don't spend my calories on subpar food, I get to eat amazing food AND not gain weight, the best of both worlds.

I also had to fight wanting to be perfect. Perfection is stressful. Imperfect consistency is surprisingly rewarding because it made it possible to notice all the little things that contribute to weight management. I take all the wins I could get, no matter how tiny.

cwolfman13

ArtsieSarah wrote: »

I think this is a very interesting and important topic to weight loss: the mental change. It's common knowledge that exercise and diet leads to success but A LOT (if not most) is a mental fight to get there.

If you were successful, what changed mentally during your journey and what helped you in that area?

For me, that all came with time. I didn't make wholesale changes overnight and try to do a complete 180. I knew that change would be incremental if I was going to be successful long term. I didn't really change anything at first, I just started logging and made sure I was hitting my calorie target most of the time.

Over the first couple of months I slowly started working on different aspects of my diet a little bit at a time...getting in more veg and fruit...leaner proteins...more fish...reducing soda until I was down to none, etc.

I also started slow with exercise. I was pretty sedentary, so I just started with getting out for a walk daily and nothing else. My wife signed up for a Turkey Trot 5K for Thanksgiving and that prompted me to start a C25K program. I wasn't really ready for a full 5K, but I did run a portion of it and walked some of it. That ultimately lead to more running and a couple months later I joined a gym to get back in the weight room.

Slowly but surely I was building my fitness and it felt good and I felt better than I had in ages. I was a competitive multi sport athlete growing up and through high school with my primary being a track and field sprinter...so it felt really good to start getting that fitness back.

I just kept on building up my fitness to the point where I signed up and started training for a sprint triathlon. This was about 9 months after I started and had lost the weight and gone into maintenance. I never did the race due to an injury a couple weeks before the race, but it was that training where I found my love for cycling. Previous to that, I enjoyed the fact that I was getting more fit, but I really didn't truly enjoy running...I found my love for cycling and it remains my primary exercise modality.

I've been in maintenance for 6 years as of last month...still keepin' on with solid nutrition and regular exercise. I believe a lot of people go wring in trying to overhaul everything overnight and try to be 100% "clean" and go from nothing to a ton of exercise overnight, most of which isn't something they particularly enjoy and they think every workout has to be a sufferfest...people burn out pretty quickly with that mindset.

seltzermint555

Instead of a diet mentality I made calorie counting a permanent habit. My attitude about it was "This is a thing I do and it's going to have a good end result".