[Long Post] The easy way out is becoming more tempting

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smoofinator
smoofinator Posts: 635 Member
edited May 2019 in Motivation and Support
Last November, I decided to finally make a change. I had gone to a weight loss doctor back in 2014 to lose weight before my wedding. I got a prescription for "magic pills" that melted 20 lbs. off in three months. The prescription was for Phendimetrazine. I couldn't believe how easily I lost weight and how productive I'd become all of the sudden. I loved how much energy I had and how little I thought about food and eating. I loved the pills so much, I didn’t stop taking them after I got back from my honeymoon. In fact, I didn’t stop taking them for the next four years.

I tried to stop every few months, made it a couple weeks without the pills, then caved when I gained a few pounds. Problem was, I was gaining weight on the drugs anyway. They started to become less effective over time, so I simply increased the frequency at which I took them. When I finally decided to stop for good last year, I was taking two weeks’ worth of pills in 3-4 days… and I was back to my highest weight.

The drugs made me want to chain-smoke cigarettes and drink heavily most nights. Sure, my house was spotless and all of my to-do lists were complete, but sometimes I didn’t sleep for three nights in a row. Sometimes I was so tense and my muscles so taught, I couldn’t unclench my shoulders for hours.

I’m writing all this out because I think I need some support. I’ve been counting calories for many years, but got serious last year when I quit taking the pills. I log everything. I weigh everything. I’m not doing it wrong. I’ve been a MFP member for eight years. I’ve spent countless hours in these forums, combined with my own extensive and ongoing research over the last decade. I know why I’ve only lost three pounds in six months – weekend Sarah is an *@ $$hole*

I want to know how to beat her. Before, I was relying on the drugs to get me through the harder times of the week, when I knew I was much more likely to deviate from my plan. Now, I hit Friday and suddenly easily justify having drinks (more than two) with friends, then nursing my inevitable hangover with cheesesteaks and nachos. I’m not asking for another “magic pill,” but rather some coping mechanisms, advice, or maybe just some supportive words to help me stay the course and not get discouraged after nearly every weekend seems to negate my Monday-through-Friday efforts.

I find myself wondering if the pills would be more effective now that I’ve been off them for several months. Wouldn’t it be lovely to finally lose some weight after half a year? I know this isn’t the right kind of thinking, but it’s tempting. The thought of experiencing that original weight loss I had back in 2014 is warm and fuzzy. So what if it’s water weight? So what if it’s a VERY short-term fix and that house of cards will fall apart in a few months and I’ll be right back where I started, and probably fatter.

I apologize for the ridiculously long, whiny post.

***Edited to removed auto-link on the "dirty word"

Replies

  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,070 Member
    edited May 2019
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    It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you SHOULD be doing, but just are struggling with modifying your behaviours. I would highly recommend looking into therapy. I think something like CBT or DBT would be highly beneficial to you.

    Congrats btw for being strong enough and smart enough to get off the pills and stay off them for the past year. And give yourself a pat on the back. You may not have lost as much as you want to, but you still lost!!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited May 2019
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    Weekends are the hardest. I sympathize.

    I had to quit drinking - there's wasn't any way around it for me. Drunk munchies killed all my weekday progress.

    Some other small things I've done:

    I don't eat breakfast on the weekends. Just a brunch and dinner.
    I still track everything. Even if it sucks.
    I try to keep my steps up. I get super lazy on the weekends.

    I don't have the magic bullet, sorry. Good luck!
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Weekends are the hardest. I sympathize.

    I had to quit drinking - there's wasn't any way around it for me. Drunk munchies killed all my weekday progress.

    Some other small things I've done:

    I don't eat breakfast on the weekends. Just a brunch and dinner.
    I still track everything. Even if it sucks.
    I try to keep my steps up. I get super lazy on the weekends.

    I don't have the magic bullet, sorry. Good luck!

    I do the same with weekend, light brunch, usually dinner out. Usually keep myself busy with activities too - hiking, rowing, cycling etc.

    Perhaps a lower rate of loss might help with sticking to calories on the weekends?
  • smoofinator
    smoofinator Posts: 635 Member
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    mom23mangos wrote: »
    It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and know what you SHOULD be doing, but just are struggling with modifying your behaviours. I would highly recommend looking into therapy. I think something like CBT or DBT would be highly beneficial to you.

    Congrats btw for being strong enough and smart enough to get off the pills and stay off them for the past year. And give yourself a pat on the back. You may not have lost as much as you want to, but you still lost!!

    Thank you for the kind words. I've been in and out of therapy since puberty, and yes, I think it's probably time to go back. Usually it's once a year, and I think I'm due.

    Thanks again for the support!

    @quiksylver296 How were your social relationships affected (if at all) when you decided to stop drinking? All of my friends drink, and I'm worried about drifting away from them if I decide to imbibe much less frequently.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Meh. I'm old, married, and anti-social. :laugh:

    No real effect for me. It was turning down a couple margaritas when going out to dinner with hubby, is all.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    I agree with therapy--you were addicted to those pills and they are at the back of your mind even though you know how much harm they did. I think you need to get your drinking in check and that will solve your hangover "munchies". You have to tame the beast. Good luck hon. I'd hang that doctor that prescribed the pills out to dry.
  • smoofinator
    smoofinator Posts: 635 Member
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    snowflake954 wrote: »
    I agree with therapy--you were addicted to those pills and they are at the back of your mind even though you know how much harm they did. I think you need to get your drinking in check and that will solve your hangover "munchies". You have to tame the beast. Good luck hon. I'd hang that doctor that prescribed the pills out to dry.

    Thanks. You're right. I'm just scared my friendships will suffer, but it's the right thing to do (giving up drinking, at least for a while). Re: Diet pills doctor, yeah. There are regulations in my state (Florida) that make it illegal to continue to prescribe that type of controlled substance when someone's BMI falls below a certain percentage (reaches normal range, I think). Legally, he should've stopped giving me the drugs when I lost the weight the first time in 2014. I'm not blaming him for my drug abuse, but halting my access would've helped a lot I expect.
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    snowflake954 wrote: »
    smoofinator wrote: »
    snowflake954 wrote: »
    I agree with therapy--you were addicted to those pills and they are at the back of your mind even though you know how much harm they did. I think you need to get your drinking in check and that will solve your hangover "munchies". You have to tame the beast. Good luck hon. I'd hang that doctor that prescribed the pills out to dry.

    Thanks. You're right. I'm just scared my friendships will suffer, but it's the right thing to do (giving up drinking, at least for a while). Re: Diet pills doctor, yeah. There are regulations in my state (Florida) that make it illegal to continue to prescribe that type of controlled substance when someone's BMI falls below a certain percentage (reaches normal range, I think). Legally, he should've stopped giving me the drugs when I lost the weight the first time in 2014. I'm not blaming him for my drug abuse, but halting my access would've helped a lot I expect.

    If your friendships suffer--they are not your friends. Make new ones that care about you. Seriously.


    I agree 100% with this. Real friends won't care if you are drinking or not. If they try to push you into drinking, they are enablers. Not friends.

    That being said, is alcohol a thing you are able to moderate? If so, perhaps just set a 1 drink limit to begin with. This way, you still get the social aspects of going out for a drink, but aren't getting hung over (so no hangover munchies), and are cutting back the calories from avoiding more drinks. You could also choose lower calorie drinks such as rum & diet coke or something too.

    If you don't feel that you are able to moderate the alcohol, then elimination is fine too. You can always go out, have the food and stick to calorie free drinks and still have fun with friends.

    I eat out all the time. Probably too often, lol. One of my strategies to make sure I get to my goal is to use a weekly calorie goal, instead of a daily goal. This way, if I know I have the weekend eating out thing to be at I can "bank" accordinly by eating a tad less on the days leading up to the food event. (between 50-100 calories a day). OR if I get invited out last minute and it puts me over the day, I will eat a tad less (50-100 calories) the next few days following. I do this in the summer when my drinking habits peak as well.

    Try a few calorie reducing tricks when you eat out as well. Like eliminating the bun on a burger, or having veggies or salad as your side in lieu of fried foods like fries and onion rings. Ordering a small portion. Or just a side of the thing you are craving. Like just an appetizer instead of appetizer AND an entree.

    If you have a weekend where it gets crazy with the drinks and food, count it ALL. (as best as you can remember). If you're not already that is. This way you can see what all you did, and maybe find ways to cut it back.

    For the coping? Start journaling. Write it all out. It could be just life in general, or just related to food, or whatever you would like. But if you feel like you go out of control at certain times, writing it all out can help you figure out why and begin to work at addressing it and changing your habits.
  • mdv323
    mdv323 Posts: 1 Member
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    Weekends are HARD. What helps me minimize the damage is staying really rigid during the week with my calories and my workouts, and then adding additional activities on the weekend -- usually an early workout at the gym or a run or something in addition to my usual routine. At a minimum the time I spend on these activities keeps me from drinking / eating LOL.
  • susanpiper57
    susanpiper57 Posts: 213 Member
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    I agree with all of the above. It is good that you kicked the pills and also a good idea to seek counseling, and limiting alcohol is never a bad idea. If you do still feel the need to drink with your friends when you go out, try eating a healthy meal beforehand and drinking a lower-calorie drink, like a single vodka soda in a tall glass. The extra soda water will take longer to drink, and you will still be consuming the calories from a single and not a double. Then switch off with a water or soda water per drink so that you are drinking less alcohol and keeping calories down. Plus the alcoholic and non-alcoholic drink will look so similar that most likely nobody would notice.

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