Parent enables me to eat junk food

courtsh93

Long story short, i had moved into my dads house with my daughter after i lost my job and it’s been hell being here when all my dad buys is junk food! I’ve always been obese and my daughter has been overweight since we lived with my dad many years ago!! She’s 5 now and Weights 71 pounds . Breaks my heart b/c i constantly tell my dad to stop buying snacks/frozen dinners and juices!! (Before we moved in, she was losing weight and trying foods i would cook for dinner. She was so much smaller!) I’ve been officially dieting for 2 months now and only lost 12 pounds (with intense workouts), so I’m not meeting my weight goals at all. He doesn’t let me go grocery shopping with him and i use child support money (until i find a job after college finals) for mine and my daughters healthy snacks i buy. (I cant use it all for food cause she needs other things). But he comes home with a crap ton of markdowns of breads, cookies, cakes, anything junk food!! But when i DO grocery shop with him, he complains about prices. But he doesn’t understand he could use the money he spends on markdowns toward fruits and veggies/ and lean meats. It’s depressing and yes, i have days where i can tell myself to stay AWAY from the things he buys. And other days i have one bite of junk food and just end up eating a serving size which still is NOT ok!. Yea, i workout EVERYDAY except 1 day out the week. I feel depressed that I’m not meeting my weight goals correctly. Finals are almost over to where i can start working this summer. I just need motivation and tips on how to NOT cave in to eating junk food anymore!! It is the first of the month and I’m starting over on staying away from his snack and juice cabinets! Any advice will help

mom23mangos

Sadly, you are going to have to somehow find the willpower until you are able to move out on your own. Losing 12lbs in 2 months is fantastic. You are doing better than you give yourself credit for. I get where you are coming from. My adult son lives with us and has issues moderating on his own. He's asked us to buy a lock for the pantry door. I'm totally cool with that, but my husband refuses to do so. Would that help? If he was willing to lock away the treats?

quiksylver296

mom23mangos wrote: »

Sadly, you are going to have to somehow find the willpower until you are able to move out on your own. Losing 12lbs in 2 months is fantastic. You are doing better than you give yourself credit for. I get where you are coming from. My adult son lives with us and has issues moderating on his own. He's asked us to buy a lock for the pantry door. I'm totally cool with that, but my husband refuses to do so. Would that help? If he was willing to lock away the treats?

Agree with this. Would he be willing to keep his treats somewhere not accessible to you and your daughter?

snowflake954

Hon, I know it's hard but you are so lucky that you have a place to go with your daughter. It might not be that easy for your father to take you in. What's his income like? He's paying extra bills. You said he's buying food that's on sale. So, when you've got a problem, you've got to solve it. Take a look at what he's buying and the calorie content. Can you afford to buy veggies and some lean meat such as chicken breast, on sale, to supplement? There is ALWAYS a way. You just haven't figured it out yet. I agree that candies and sweets should be put away, if your father agrees. How is his health? If he's overweight too, maybe get his doctor on board to change his eating habits.

TanyaHooton

It sounds like you have a lot of stress right now - losing your job, moving house, raising a kid, finals, trying to manage weight, working out, family not being so supportive. You only have so much willpower, which is like a muscle and can easily get fatigued, so of course it's hard to keep away from the high-cal treats.

It sounds like you have two related problems - one is that your daughter is overweight which you need to do something about (yourself too), and one is that your father is not being supportive in a healthy lifestyle. You have some control over the first problem. Can you set rules for your daughter about the treats? Like, she gets one treat per week, or as a reward for doing something active (helping you clean, for example)? Can you get her extra exercise, like take a walk with her?

The second problem - your father not being helpful - is not something you can control. You can try talking to him, having a gentle heart-to-heart. But it's often not possible to get others to change, or at least not for a sustained period. So I see two options - you buckle down on your willpower, which can be emotionally exhausting...but rewarding if it works. Or you can set yourself at maintenance for the time being (you say this is temporary) and pick back up once life settles down.

Best of luck. That sounds like a hard situation.

Fivepts

Tough situation. Hopefully, you can get on your own feet soon. Would it be possible to get your pediatrician to agree that your daughter needs to cut back on sugar, flour, and processed foods? Maybe your dad will be willing to do it for his granddaughter's health if he understands that it's coming from a doctor.

elisa123gal

Take charge of your life and your daughter's health. You are her mother and it is up to you. Don't blame your dad... no doubt he has his own fault in this.. But, blaming other people for what isn't working in your life will keep you from solving the problem. Figure out a solution to controlling what your daughter gets to eat..you are a grown up and you can exercise self control. sounds like you'll have to negotiate with dad to put his treats in an upper cabinet.or something to that affect.. When I see fat children.. I blame the parents for letting it happen.