Out of control

kidsmom3

I've always been one to think of eating disorders as anorexia or bulimia. Then I realized I had one. I cant control my eating. I eat when i'm not hungry just cause it tastes or sounds good. I've lost the weight and gained it all back plus more. I hate buying clothes, being in public, and in general, just looking at myself. I see myself as a disgusting sow. I literally can't stand myself. I have zero motivation to fix my weight even though I want too.

texasredreb

You must have some motivation or you wouldn't have joined this forum! I'm glad you decided to join!

If I were in your situation, I would just start weighing and logging everything I normally eat for a week. I'd also find out my TDEE (easy to find a calculator online). Then I would look back at my logs and find a few things that wouldn't hurt too much to cut out or eat less of--and then do it. After a while longer, cut out/eat less of a few more things and so on. That way I wouldn't feel like I was on a diet or like I was depriving myself.

Go at this really conservatively. Set yourself up to lose a half pound per week. Once you start seeing results, you might find motivation to keep going.

Good luck to you!

SteroidalLolita

kidsmom3 wrote: »

I've always been one to think of eating disorders as anorexia or bulimia. Then I realized I had one. I cant control my eating. I eat when i'm not hungry just cause it tastes or sounds good. I've lost the weight and gained it all back plus more. I hate buying clothes, being in public, and in general, just looking at myself. I see myself as a disgusting sow. I literally can't stand myself. I have zero motivation to fix my weight even though I want too.

I've been there. I know it's hard. It's difficult to find it in yourself to change but once you recognize the problem you've already taken a step in the right direction. It's a long road, but you can do it!

manderson27

Good advice from @texasredreb. I would just add that most of us have been where you are and looked in the mirror and despaired of ever changing. But you can change. If you start with small changes. Don't try and do it all at once. Changing your lifestyle drastically can be counterproductive.

Read the forums lots of great advice in there from people who have had to overcome huge hurdles to make progress.

Hating yourself will not help, loving yourself and taking care of yourself will. You are not disgusting, you are not a sow, you are human just like the rest of us and you need to respect yourself.

You can do this but only if you care enough about yourself to want to make the changes that will make you healthier and happier.

Wishing you all the best and have sent a friend request if you need someone to talk to.