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Acquaintance Suggested Cosmetic Work

Sunrain2018
Sunrain2018 Posts: 24 Member
edited December 20 in Debate Club
I still think about this and it honestly puzzles me. A certain acquaintance of mine that I haven’t seen in two years saw me and was shocked I had lost soo much weight... She then told me now that I’ve lost weight I’d benefit from cosmetic procedures to contour my face to give it a mature look... It was a very oddball suggestion and I made my opinion be known.. She said she had only meant I’d look sexier with less face fat. I told her she was being takcky and walked away.

What would you think if someone you didn’t know or did know suggested it cosmetic enhancements?
How would you have handled the situation differently?
I want to point out is that I’m only in my late 20’s and while I’ve lost some face fat it hasn’t reduced in an extreme way, also I started taking skincare in my early 20’s seriously and have used sunscreen everyday of my life since I was 15 years old. Has social media influenced people soo much that they feel it’s completely normal to suggest cosmetic procedures to virtual strangers? 🤔 ... Why are young men and woman trying to look older before their time? I don’t understand it.

Replies

  • Phirrgus
    Phirrgus Posts: 1,894 Member
    I think I might have a return suggestion or 2 for that acquaintance....
  • bannock_and_biceps
    bannock_and_biceps Posts: 82 Member
    that is super tacky, even for an acquaintance. i lost 20 lbs and i feel my face looked better WHEN i was heavier! i'm 57, and i know that losing volume in the face is normal. in no way do i want to go back to my original weight. my body looks better in clothes and i feel infinitely better. you do YOU! ignore her next time you see her. and congratulations on your loss, Lady!
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Projection of narcissism. I attended a conference a few years back in the aesthetics medicine industry and surrounded by sales and marketing of cosmetic medicine - all of whom get work done at a dramatic discount. It's funny as having worked in the industry I can spot surgical alteration immediately. I could also tell who worked in the various departments - regulatory/quality/R &D vs. sales/marketing.

    I doubt this person perceived this interaction as rude, simply making comments within her perception of reality unaware at how offensive this could be.
  • Sunshine_And_Sand
    Sunshine_And_Sand Posts: 1,320 Member
    This person sounds like she is either really rude/tacky, have no social common sense/no filter, or all of the above. TBH, she doesn't really seem like the kind of person worthy of you even worrying about what they think.
    I think you handled that appropriately and were probably even a little nicer about it than she deserved.
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    I think this person was extremely rude. You did not ask their opinion. I think people do know when they are being nosy or rude. I am glad you were able to express yourself to that person. Good for you. Hugs
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    Cosmetic surgery is so normalized and a lot more common for regular people now other than celebrities, so I’m not really shocked by that comment especially when it’s coming from people around our age. It’s almost like someone suggesting a new hair style. It’s scary.

    I wouldn’t have took it offensively things don’t really get to me unless it’s coming from someone I love. And I have the mentality that if anyone ever tries to attack or critique my looks that their full of *kitten*. However If that was being said to someone else and I saw that it hurt them I wouldn’t have been as calm as you I would’ve stooped so low dissing them from head to toe, I think you handled it perfectly like a mature adult.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    What a rude weird person. I am very glad you told her she was being tacky and walked away. Usually in situations like that, the person's response is just getting upset but hiding their feelings. I am all about asserting oneself and standing up to rude bullying behavior. So yay!

    I am sure you look great and this person is a pile of insecurities themselves. You are better off.
  • Slowfaster
    Slowfaster Posts: 186 Member
    Good grief. One of the hardest things for me when I'm losing weight is looking in the mirror and seeing how, though my body looks better, my face looks worse, because the loss of fat in my cheeks makes me look sunken and haggard, and the loss of fat in my neck makes it look old. Your person was not only tacky she has a very poor esthetic sense.
  • Ninkasi
    Ninkasi Posts: 173 Member
    I've had cosmetic procedures done but I would never suggest to someone else that they need one. Boundaries, people!
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I suppose it may be very common in some parts of the world to have cosmetic surgery and they just think it is normal to suggest?

    I would consider an unsolicited comment like that about my appearance coming from an acquaintance to be shockingly rude. I would probably just say I disagreed, was fine with my appearance and more concerned about my health and walk away.

  • kimemeki
    kimemeki Posts: 11 Member
    Just remember people like that are generally projecting their own insecurities. I was constantly told by my mom that I needed to get my butt and lips reduced as a young girl. Lucky for me it was right when big full lips and bottoms were actually becoming quite popular (late 80's early 90's) and I had the wherewithal to just ignore her and laugh it all. Even at that young age, I was able to see how sad she must have felt about her own appearance to attack mine. Sounds like you handled the situation just fine. Congrats on your weight loss journey!
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    I think it's weird anytime someone suggests you should do something to your body...my brother is forever trying to convince me I need a tattoo...no...this body is mine, no one else gets a vote...if I ask someone's opinion, or make some kind of opening comment, then sure, chime in, but other than that, zip it.

    Hey, I'm thinking about cutting my hair short. - ok to comment

    I'm working on a rounder booty. - ok to comment

    How would you like some coffee? - no body comments here, zip it
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