Support needed!

pinkhelen82

Hello, I’m desperate to get healthy but nothing seems to last longer than a few hours. My motivation is overtaken by strong food cravings and emotional eating. A vicious cycle of feeling negative follows and I’m back to square one. I’ve read so many articles and decided that today’s the day but I always fail. I want to do this for me but I also need to learn food rules so I can be a better parent for my family. Any support or suggestions would be greatly received. Enjoy your evening everyone

88olds

What’s a baby step change you can make and stick to? Drawing red lines for yourself and then crossing them is a difficult pattern to break. Try to find an affirmative step or two you can take.

Something that worked for me like nothing else was a food diary. I kept it with pen and paper. Just a crude list of what I ate and drank with the numbers. I found using the computer an added complication.

To get started, just make a list of what you eat and drink. It’s a thing to do. The only way to fail is to not do it. If you forget at some point, go back and fill it in as best you can. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Stick at it for a good long time, say 4-6 weeks.

When you have a good record of your test period, find some time when you can study your lists. What do you see? Are there obvious changes you can make? Particular problems? Weight loss is about problem solving.

Based on your test do you want to have a go at calorie counting? Calculate a small calorie deficit, make a plan and try to hit your number. Give that another month long test. Don’t be discouraged when you struggle. There’s a significant calorie counting learning curve. Keep trying, you’ll get it. The good news is calorie counting works.

Keep working on your plan. Never stop adjusting and trying to make it better. Don’t be concerned with how long it’s taking. You have the rest of your life to work on this. Always keep your food diary no matter what. The process is more important than the numbers. Identify problems and solve them one at a time. You can do it.

Last thing- I wish I could say something useful about diet noise. When we’re struggling it doesn’t help to be jerked one direction to the other. Try to get your information about weight loss. from medical and science sources. The sources- not the media recap of the sources. The media live on clickbait and habitually misstate the studies they are discussing. Also, in moment of clarity I realized how much diet and fitness misinformation I had absorbed from advertising. We don’t need to buy stuff to lose weight.

pinkhelen82

Thank you so much for your post. I’ve never before thought about the future. My journey has all been about the past. How I’ve learned bad habits, fallen off plan again. I love the idea of monitoring, time, analysing, time, learn, time. I can take my time and stop beating myself up with this. I’m going to restart my food diary and start from today. I’m going to read your post several times to absorb it fully. Have an amazing day xx

joweekes

I'm new to this and have followed various diet plans before - I always start motivated and then it slides because life gets in the way. I just keep restarting and at the moment calorie counting is working for me and I've found a form of exercise that I really love (3 HIIT sessions a week at a local gym) and so far I'm 5 1/2 months in and I'm keeping everything crossed that I've finally cracked it! I hope you find a way forward that suits you and helps you to achieve your goals. Just keep going!

cheryldumais

I found the most useful approach for me was to start slow. I began making changes I could live with. In the past when I failed it was because I tried to change everything at once and I got tired of being hungry and tired. So this time I took one step at a time. For exercise I started taking a 10 to 15 minute walk a couple times a day. I ate smaller portions and as I saw progress I was encouraged to make more changes. But the one thing I didn't allow myself to be lazy about was logging. I log all my food every day even now on maintenance. It takes very little time and keeps me on track. You can do this. Take one step at a time and find things you can live with for the rest of your life. Don't do any diet that is going to be temporary because you won't stick to it. Even if you did and lost the weight you won't maintain. @88olds gave you some of the best advice I've seen. Good luck.

pinkhelen82

joweekes wrote: »

I'm new to this and have followed various diet plans before - I always start motivated and then it slides because life gets in the way. I just keep restarting and at the moment calorie counting is working for me and I've found a form of exercise that I really love (3 HIIT sessions a week at a local gym) and so far I'm 5 1/2 months in and I'm keeping everything crossed that I've finally cracked it! I hope you find a way forward that suits you and helps you to achieve your goals. Just keep going!

I’m so pleased that you have found something that works for you and keeping it up is amazing. I’ll also keep everything crossed for you!

pinkhelen82

cheryldumais wrote: »

I found the most useful approach for me was to start slow. I began making changes I could live with. In the past when I failed it was because I tried to change everything at once and I got tired of being hungry and tired. So this time I took one step at a time. For exercise I started taking a 10 to 15 minute walk a couple times a day. I ate smaller portions and as I saw progress I was encouraged to make more changes. But the one thing I didn't allow myself to be lazy about was logging. I log all my food every day even now on maintenance. It takes very little time and keeps me on track. You can do this. Take one step at a time and find things you can live with for the rest of your life. Don't do any diet that is going to be temporary because you won't stick to it. Even if you did and lost the weight you won't maintain. @88olds gave you some of the best advice I've seen. Good luck.

Thank you for your post. I like your idea of starting small but I feel like a drastic change needs to happen. I literally feel like I need to relearn my hunger signals because I’m not used to being hungry as I constantly ate in between meals. So today has been challenging, I’ve only eaten when I got hungry. It’ll definitely cut my calories but then I’m going to have to focus on the next step- what I’m eating. I’ve also started logging everything. But just as @88olds said, this is about my future not the past. I have time to crack this if I work at it. Have a lovely evening x

Jackie9003

I too struggled for years and started off with small changes that felt like quick wins such as swapping high fat for lower fat options, not eating after 8pm. I'm sure you can think of a few of your own.

One thing that really works for me is planning my day, I log everything on a morning and try to leave 100cals for a snack if I fancy one, I have a drawer full of treats so I feel completely in control.
Best of luck, it's hard but when you see those losses it's worth it.

cheryldumais

@pinkhelen82 I don't know if this would be helpful to you but someone on here recommended a book I found useful. It's called "The Beck Diet Solution" by Judith Beck. https://www.amazon.com/Beck-Diet-Solution-Person-Original-ebook/dp/B00M70SA0I/ref=sr_1_2?crid=17YB4DPYXQZKI&keywords=the+beck+diet+solution+book&qid=1557950375&s=gateway&sprefix=the+beck+die,aps,196&sr=8-2
She works with Cognative Therapy to help people change the way they think. I didn't bother with any special eating plan but her ideas did help me to keep a handle on things.

pinkhelen82

I’m glad that you’ve found something works for you. I’ve tried the 100 calorie snack draw but once I start I just keep going back for more. It’s terrible because I know I don’t want to and I’ll feel guilty after, but I still do it. It’s like self sabotage. Therefore I’m trying to eliminate as much processed sugar as possible until I’m in control of it. Fingers crossed!

pinkhelen82

cheryldumais wrote: »

@pinkhelen82 I don't know if this would be helpful to you but someone on here recommended a book I found useful. It's called "The Beck Diet Solution" by Judith Beck. https://www.amazon.com/Beck-Diet-Solution-Person-Original-ebook/dp/B00M70SA0I/ref=sr_1_2?crid=17YB4DPYXQZKI&keywords=the+beck+diet+solution+book&qid=1557950375&s=gateway&sprefix=the+beck+die,aps,196&sr=8-2
She works with Cognative Therapy to help people change the way they think. I didn't bother with any special eating plan but her ideas did help me to keep a handle on things.

Thank you, that’s very kind of you to recommend the book. I’ll have a look at it x

jljshoe1979

Hey, just wanted to say take the wins when you get them. Maybe its not a day to day thing, but more like a moment to moment thing. For instance, "hmmm my morning snack had too many calories, so I need to walk 10 minutes and get some of those extra cals off" or "I drank 2 cups of water today, going for 3 tomorrow". Idk your exact goals and someone already suggested this, but logging personally helps me see where I'm at, so I can form a plan to get where I'm going.