Keep going over calories + living with family

xxzenabxx

So this isn’t really a question because I know why recently I haven’t lost any weight. I still live with my parents and siblings and I keep eating their food and going over my calories! I seem to have lost that self control. Should I say no to their food from now on? Most of the time it’s high calories like fried food, curries or cakes. I’m basically at maintenance right now, with just a few days in a 500 calorie deficit! How do you cope with dieting whilst living with other family members? I also want to be accurate with my logging and most of the time I’m not even sure how many calories I’m eating (because I don’t know how many calories are in their food?). It’s giving me anxiety!

tinkerbellang83

Think of it the same way as if you were living with a flatmate, their food is their food and not yours to eat, no reason why if you have your own income and can be responsible for your own shopping why you can't just make your own food.

cheryldumais

Personally my husband and I have totally different diets. He has no interest in eating healthy or giving up his favorites so I make similar but different meals often for the two of us. For example tonight he's having a big dish of spaghetti (albeit made with ground turkey) and garlic toast. I will have zuchinni in place of the pasta, a much smaller dish and will forgo the garlic toast. My dinner will be about 350 calories and his will likely top 1000. You could get involved with making dinner and do the same thing. Perhaps when it's fried chicken pull a piece out and grill it or bake it instead. This way you can eat with your family but you don't have to have too many calories. Fix a big salad or some side veggies like steamed broccoli and you could have a filling and healthy version. It takes a while before you aren't looking at their plate longingly but eventually you are just as satisfied with your version and since you feel better it gets easier to resist.

sardelsa

Are you eating their snacks or eating meals with them? I would say avoid the snacks if you can and save the calories for your meals. I know sometimes it's hard to avoid eating meals with family. I know if I lived with my parents dinner is very important and something I would have to participate in. Other people's situations might be different.

You can either take your best guess and enter a close recipe into the recipe builder (maybe ask what ingredients are in the food or participate with the cooking at least a few times to get an idea), do a complete guess and quick add calories, have smaller portions, choose healthier options (bulk up on veggies, provided they aren't calorie dense - deep fried or oily), or save up some "flex" calories for dinners. Unfortunately it might not be the most accurate, but you can come close. It also depends on your intake. If your calories are on the lower side you won't have as much flexibility so i would imagine it would be difficult but with a bit of trial and error you could make it work.

xxzenabxx

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

Think of it the same way as if you were living with a flatmate, their food is their food and not yours to eat, no reason why if you have your own income and can be responsible for your own shopping why you can't just make your own food.

sardelsa wrote: »

Are you eating their snacks or eating meals with them? I would say avoid the snacks if you can and save the calories for your meals. I know sometimes it's hard to avoid eating meals with family. I know if I lived with my parents dinner is very important and something I would have to participate in. Other people's situations might be different.

You can either take your best guess and enter a close recipe into the recipe builder (maybe ask what ingredients are in the food or participate with the cooking at least a few times to get an idea), do a complete guess and quick add calories, have smaller portions, choose healthier options (bulk up on veggies, provided they aren't calorie dense - deep fried or oily), or save up some "flex" calories for dinners. Unfortunately it might not be the most accurate, but you can come close. It also depends on your intake. If your calories are on the lower side you won't have as much flexibility so i would imagine it would be difficult but with a bit of trial and error you could make it work.

I’m eating my own meals mostly and then their food as snacks. Sometimes I do have the meals. The calories add up so fast! Maybe I need to just be more disciplined? They eat a lot of rice which doesn’t fill me up so I overeat on rice by a lot of calories and it’s cooked in a lot of oil. I think I’m just going to avoid the rice completely. My mum thinks olive oil is healthy so she puts a lot in the salads. I’m going to take control of the salads from now on. I honestly feel like not eating their food for a couple of weeks just so I can lose weight. It’s demotivating when the scale doesn’t go down and I do want results, especially if I’m in a 500 calorie deficit right now.

xxzenabxx

cheryldumais wrote: »

Personally my husband and I have totally different diets. He has no interest in eating healthy or giving up his favorites so I make similar but different meals often for the two of us. For example tonight he's having a big dish of spaghetti (albeit made with ground turkey) and garlic toast. I will have zuchinni in place of the pasta, a much smaller dish and will forgo the garlic toast. My dinner will be about 350 calories and his will likely top 1000. You could get involved with making dinner and do the same thing. Perhaps when it's fried chicken pull a piece out and grill it or bake it instead. This way you can eat with your family but you don't have to have too many calories. Fix a big salad or some side veggies like steamed broccoli and you could have a filling and healthy version. It takes a while before you aren't looking at their plate longingly but eventually you are just as satisfied with your version and since you feel better it gets easier to resist.

Yeah thanks for the tips. I think I’m just going to avoid most of their food for now. I do eat a lot of veggies but now I’m going to take control of the oil in the salads. The problem is that there’s oil in literally everything, and it’s a lot of oil. I know I need to focus on my own goals even if I have to make sacrifices.

sardelsa

Could you maybe slow down your loss a bit and be ok with only 0.5lb per week vs 1lb? That could help a bit and you would be able to have a bit extra on some days. But definitely would try to avoid the snacks and have your own that will likely help get you back into a deficit.

xxzenabxx

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

Think of it the same way as if you were living with a flatmate, their food is their food and not yours to eat, no reason why if you have your own income and can be responsible for your own shopping why you can't just make your own food.

I was very disciplined a few months ago. Then I went on a reverse diet for 3 months. I just don’t have that discipline anymore so I’m trying to get back into that. When there’s nothing cooked I’ll just eat whatever is made and it’s just so high in calories.

Panini911

skip their snacks. you can have your own stash of snacks for better for you options.

for meals, you can probably have the core of their meal and make some swaps. For example, even when i have meals with family, i'll quickly whip up my cauliflower rice and have some sliced veggies/broccoli slaw ready to go as sides. then eat whatever protein they are having. This works FOR ME and i can still easily eat with family. When I go eat at a friend's i'll often bring a plate of cut up veggies to share just so i know I have something to snack on. I'll often bring my broccoli slaw as well depending what we are eating. it's not imposing on host and adds to the meal.

or if they are having chili/curry i'll warm up some nupasta or similar type low cal rice. it isn't a big "deal" to prep and sit down with them.

tinkerbellang83

xxzenabxx wrote: »

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

Think of it the same way as if you were living with a flatmate, their food is their food and not yours to eat, no reason why if you have your own income and can be responsible for your own shopping why you can't just make your own food.

I was very disciplined a few months ago. Then I went on a reverse diet for 3 months. I just don’t have that discipline anymore so I’m trying to get back into that. When there’s nothing cooked I’ll just eat whatever is made and it’s just so high in calories.

Maybe you could batch cook something once a week and leave it in the freezer so you can just reheat it with some veggies when there's nothing cooked. One of my biggest downfalls when I gained the majority of my weight was not planning ahead and resorting to the easy option because I was shattered after a long day's work. Now there is nearly always something I can reheat with a steam bag of veg in 5 mins so I don't make an excuse in my head to get takeaway.

Ultimately (and it may seem harsh) you are responsible for what you put in your own mouth. So if you're overeating take responsibility and make the changes you need to, to achieve your goals. Take it out of the hands of others.

vggb

I'm the cook in my house and am on a restrictive diet compared to what everyone else eats. I make my dinner at the same time I make theirs. They make their own breakfast/lunch most of the time (all adults here). I've also learned that my portions were 2-3 times what a true portion is, that's when the weight truly started coming off.

Can you make your own meals? It can be difficult when the household is eating differently, especially when they won't eat what you are trying to eat. I like my meals and don't desire theirs anymore and I am satisfied. I am a very simple eater and that makes it easy.

Self control requires effort before it becomes easy.

snuff15ee

When I decided to start getting back in shape the best course of action for me was to start cooking my own food. Every Sunday at 1800 I cook everything I’m going to eat for the entire week including snacks. I eat six times a day (about every 2-2.5 hours), so I found it beneficial to put everything into meal-prep containers. This technique helps me know exactly what my macro, and to a certain extent, my micro nutrient intakes are for the entire week. Every week I get faster and better at preparing everything and since I knock it all out in one day I’m not in the way when my wife needs the kitchen during the week. The results have been great for me. Paired with exercising 6 times a week I’ve shed 30 pounds and I’m back to looking like I did when I was athletic in my 20s (I’m 42 now).

xxzenabxx

Thanks for the tips everyone. So it seems that I need to start meal prepping. I do get bored of food quickly hence why I never meal prepped. Maybe I can meal prep some meats/protein sources and mix it up to keep it fun. I’ve also accepted the fact that I’m going to take my food in my own hands and only eat my family’s food 1-2 times a week. That way I can still have it but I’m not going off the plan.

xxzenabxx

vggb wrote: »

I'm the cook in my house and am on a restrictive diet compared to what everyone else eats. I make my dinner at the same time I make theirs. They make their own breakfast/lunch most of the time (all adults here). I've also learned that my portions were 2-3 times what a true portion is, that's when the weight truly started coming off.

Can you make your own meals? It can be difficult when the household is eating differently, especially when they won't eat what you are trying to eat. I like my meals and don't desire theirs anymore and I am satisfied. I am a very simple eater and that makes it easy.

Self control requires effort before it becomes easy.

Yeah I’m sure once I get the hang of self control I won’t look back. I do make my own meals but it’s just in a pan because I’m a basic cook! I know I need to up my cooking skills too. My mum is the main cook in the house who thinks high fat foods are the best. I mainly eat fish and veg stir fry. I think I’m bored of my own food too. Definitely need to venture out in the culinary department.

xxzenabxx

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

xxzenabxx wrote: »

tinkerbellang83 wrote: »

Think of it the same way as if you were living with a flatmate, their food is their food and not yours to eat, no reason why if you have your own income and can be responsible for your own shopping why you can't just make your own food.

I was very disciplined a few months ago. Then I went on a reverse diet for 3 months. I just don’t have that discipline anymore so I’m trying to get back into that. When there’s nothing cooked I’ll just eat whatever is made and it’s just so high in calories.

Maybe you could batch cook something once a week and leave it in the freezer so you can just reheat it with some veggies when there's nothing cooked. One of my biggest downfalls when I gained the majority of my weight was not planning ahead and resorting to the easy option because I was shattered after a long day's work. Now there is nearly always something I can reheat with a steam bag of veg in 5 mins so I don't make an excuse in my head to get takeaway.

Ultimately (and it may seem harsh) you are responsible for what you put in your own mouth. So if you're overeating take responsibility and make the changes you need to, to achieve your goals. Take it out of the hands of others.

I know I need to plan...thanks for the tips! That’s one thing I’m lacking in.

Dreamwa1ker

xxzenabxx wrote: »

Thanks for the tips everyone. So it seems that I need to start meal prepping. I do get bored of food quickly hence why I never meal prepped. Maybe I can meal prep some meats/protein sources and mix it up to keep it fun. I’ve also accepted the fact that I’m going to take my food in my own hands and only eat my family’s food 1-2 times a week. That way I can still have it but I’m not going off the plan.

I also don't like eating the same thing every day, so when I meal prep I either prep two things so I can alternate, which helps, or I make a huge batch and freeze a good deal of it (in portioned containers - I use freezer-safe mason jars a lot) After you have built up a small stash of frozen meals, it gets really easy to swap them in to have something totally different. Obviously some foods freeze better than others so I stick to those for this option - you can always make a quick salad or side to go with.

OooohToast

My partner has some freaky metabolism so can eat a high level calories per day without putting on weight (damn him !).

He also likes calorie dense food so even if I went for a small portion of what he was having, it wouldnt be that satisfying for me.

So the quick answer is, we have different meals .

xxzenabxx

OooohToast wrote: »

My partner has some freaky metabolism so can eat a high level calories per day without putting on weight (damn him !).

He also likes calorie dense food so even if I went for a small portion of what he was having, it wouldnt be that satisfying for me.

So the quick answer is, we have different meals .

Glad that you feel the same way as me because there’s no way I’m satisfied with tiny meals. I’m a big eater!

csplatt

How old are you? I only ask because if you buy your own food, that could help - put it in your own cabinet and your own shelf in the fridge.

Lillymoo01

I think things I do have already been mentioned but my go tos are
1. I have my own snacks which I eat that fit within my calories and I find enjoyable. The rest of the families are off limits.
2. Instead of pasta, I have spiralised zucchini
3. Instead of french fries, I have roast zucchini, asparagus, cauliflower... (it helped that we have zucchini growing in our garden)
4. Instead of rice, I have cauliflower rice (with other vegetables added if they are available
5. If there is pizza I'll just have a couple of slices with a plate of salad

The main part of the meal will be the same as the rest of the family but I simply substitute to more calorie dense things with vegetables. It helps that I prefer vegetables over pasta and rice though. That way I don't feel that I am missing out on anything.

OooohToast

What would we do without cauliflower ?!